Everything You Want Me to Be(84)

Jake’s eyes widened a bit.

“So what you’re saying is you’ve been thinking about killing your husband and your baby in the last week, but you didn’t have anything to do with Hattie’s death.”

“That’s right.”

I stared at her and she stared right back. Eventually she nodded her head a little, like she’d just told herself something important, and said, “If you’d had the week I’ve had, you would’ve thought the same things.”

“What did you do after you dropped the knife?”

“I ran home. I remember it was cold, but that’s about all. When I got back, I turned the lights off in the barn and went into the house. I thought about sitting up and confronting Peter when he got home, but in the end I didn’t even want to look at him. I slept on the cot in Mom’s room instead.”

“You went home and immediately fell asleep? After seeing what you saw?”

“Not right away. I cried for a while, soft, so Mom wouldn’t hear. I figured I’d be up all night, but the next thing I knew it was dawn. I guess the baby made me tired—I’ve even been napping in the afternoons lately. On Saturday I was trying to figure out how to confront him, whether I was going to kick him out right away or what, when Winifred came over to tell us about the body.”

“What was Peter’s reaction to the news?”

She shrugged. “He was already up at school for the Saturday performance.”

I went through the whole night with her again and her story didn’t waver. She was somber, dry-eyed, and pale, answering questions directly without fuss or too much explanation. Jake and I stepped out after another half hour.

“I don’t know, Del.” He wiped a hand over his mouth, avoiding the eyes of everyone else who’d come back to the station after the funeral. The phones were still ringing off the hooks.

I sighed. “We’ve got nothing to hold her with at the moment. Right now all we can prove is she supplied the murder weapon that we don’t have. We’ll have to wait until Lund’s DA shows up to get his story and go from there.”

I walked Mary Beth out myself to make sure the reporters kept their distance. Cameras flashed from the other side of the parking lot, but no one came up to harass her. They probably didn’t know she was our suspect’s wife.

“What’d you decide about the baby?” I asked as she opened her truck door.

She seemed distracted by the reporters, then shook herself and climbed up into the dusty cab. “Women use sperm donors all the time.”

“You know, Mary Beth, when your parents had you, it was like they’d gotten a second life.”

Her face seemed frozen, waiting.

I glanced at her stomach. “Maybe it’ll be the same for you.”

For the first time since she walked into the conference room she looked like she might cry. She closed her eyes and nodded and said she hoped so, before closing the door and driving away.



The DA, such as he was, arrived over an hour later. Jake had gone out to get Dairy Queen for everyone, but I couldn’t eat. I drank a quart of coffee and did some paperwork, warning Nancy not to disturb me until the lawyer showed up. When he did, looking about twelve years old and nervous as hell, Jake and I took him back to introduce him to his client. Then Lund cold-cocked us all with his announcement that he wanted to confess to murder.

Jake was excited, I could tell, but I couldn’t quite latch on to the feeling. Lund had gone from swearing up and down he hadn’t killed Hattie when we arrested him to coolly confessing that he had, less than two hours later. I pulled him and his lawyer into the conference room and grilled him on the details.

“How did you get the knife?”

“It was lying right outside the door.” He spoke quietly to the table, not looking at a single person.

“I was trying to leave after we had sex. I thought it was just one last time and that she would give me my money back like she promised, but she said she’d already spent it. Then she threatened me. She said she was going to tell the guidance counselor at school about us if I didn’t agree to go away with her. I saw the knife and picked it up.”

“And then what?”

He closed his eyes. Everyone inside the room was absolutely silent, even the lawyer.

“I was just going to scare her with it. I didn’t plan to hurt her, but she kept insisting that I leave Mary and go with her to New York. I just wanted her to go away. I wanted my life back, before any of this had happened. Before her. Before I moved to this godforsaken town. I backed her into the corner and pointed the knife at her, told her to leave me and my family alone. She . . . she started laughing and I just snapped. I stabbed her.”

“Where?”

It took him another minute to answer, but when he did his voice was the same. Soft. Emotionless.

“In the chest. She fell over.”

“And then what did you do?”

“I slashed her face. I didn’t want to see her dead face looking at me. I wanted to make it go away.”

That fit with the remorse bit the profiler talked about and was consistent with the wounds.

“What did you do with the knife?”

“I threw it in the lake along with her purse. Then I went home and burned my clothes and took a shower.”

“Where did you burn your clothes?”