Everlasting (The Immortals #6)(7)

“Tel me, Damen, tel me for reals, in al of your years, with al of your arrivals and departures, so to speak, did you never once pick a fight, or even use a fight as a reason to leave?”

“Of course I did.” He averts his gaze, fingers picking at the waistband of his black cotton briefs.

“On more than one occasion, I assure you. But that doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do.”

I fal quiet, having nothing more to add. Squinting as he turns to adjust the shutters, welcoming a dul slant of light from what appears to be a very gray, sunless, mid-December day.

“Maybe you’re right.” He studies the scenery.

“Maybe this wil make for the cleanest break. It’s not like you can tel her the truth. It’d be like fuel to her fire. She wouldn’t accept it. And if by some miracle fire. She wouldn’t accept it. And if by some miracle she did, wel , then, she’d be quick to condemn it. And the worst part is, she’d be right. What I’ve done

—what I’ve made you—it’s unnatural. It goes against every law of nature.” He pauses, turns back to me, a look of true regret marring his gaze. “If there’s one thing I’m sure of, it’s that we are not living the life that was intended. Our bodies are immortal, true, but our souls clearly are not. Our lives flaunt the most fundamental laws of nature. We are the opposite of what we were meant to be.”

I start to speak up, start to say something, if for no other reason than the fact that I hate to see him this way. But he won’t let me. He’s far from finished. Stil got a few more points he’s determined to make.

“If nothing else, the Shadowland has assured me of that. You were there, Ever, twice if I remember

—the first time, through me, and more recently, because of Haven. So tel me, can you deny what I’ve said? Can you deny that it’s true?”

I take a deep breath, thinking about that horrible day when Haven slammed her fist right into my throat. Right into the sweet spot—my fifth chakra—

the center for a lack of discernment, misuse of information, and trusting al the wrong people. One solid punch was al it took to kil me, to end me, to send me crashing, reeling, spinning into that horrible dark oblivion. The abyss. The home for immortals’

souls. Remembering how I’d swirled through the blackness, lost in the void, taunted by a never-ending stream of images of al my past lives. Forced to relive the mistakes that I’d made, al the misguided decisions, the wrongs I’d committed—feeling others’

pain as intensely as my own. Finding my way out only when the truth was final y revealed. Spared from an eternity of deep isolation when I was left with no doubt in my mind that Damen was The One.

My soul mate.

My one and only for al of eternity.

The sudden revelation along with my complete and total declaration, acknowledging the truth of Damen and me, of our love, is the only thing that healed me, absolved me.

The only thing that freed me of the burden of my weak chakra.

The only reason I’m sitting here now.

I nod, having nothing to add. He knows what I saw, what I experienced, just as clearly as if he were there.

“It’s just you and me, Ever. We have only each other. A prospect that may be more appealing to me than you, but only because I’ve grown used to a lone wolf existence.”

“We have Miles,” I say, quick to remind Damen how he’s now in on our immortal secret. “And Jude.”

My breath stal s, stil feeling a little weird about mentioning him in Damen’s presence, despite them recently deciding to bury the past and start fresh.

“So, it’s not like we’re total y without friends, right?”

But he just shrugs, reflecting on the part I failed to mention, the part that’s too painful to utter. The fact that someday, Miles and Jude wil be old and grayhaired, eating early-bird dinners and looking forward to a rousing game of shuffleboard, while Damen and I wil be exactly the same, completely unchanged.

“I guess I just hate to see you and Sabine end it this way,” he final y says, gaze like an unexpressed sigh. “But maybe you’re right, maybe it’s as good a way as any. Seeing that it’s inevitable and al .”

I toss the pil ow aside and reach for him. I hate when he goes dark like this, when his thoughts turn inward and he starts blaming himself. I’l do anything to change the subject, to erase it completely. But he’s already turned, missing the gesture, so I drop my arm back to my side and pick at the comforter.

“Okay, so, barring a sit-down powwow with Sabine, what else did you have in mind? You know, for our winter break?” I ask, hoping to chase this dark cloud away.

It takes him a moment to respond, to lift himself above the despair. But when he does, it’s so worth it. The smile that lights up his face instantly brightens what once had the makings of a dark, dreary day.

“Wel , I was thinking we could do something spontaneous, maybe even a little bit crazy. I was thinking we could actual y try having a little fun for a change. You remember fun, don’t you?”

“Vaguely.” I nod, a wil ing player in this particular game.

“I

thought

we

could

take

a

vacation

somewhere…” He shoots me a sly, mysterious look before padding toward the cream-colored leather chaise at the opposite side of the room. Reaching for the dark silk robe he’d abandoned along the arm sometime last night and quickly slipping it on. His body moving so fluidly it’s as though he melted right body moving so fluidly it’s as though he melted right into it.