Escaping Reality (The Secret Life of Amy Bensen #1)(62)

The edge of release comes over me in an unexpected, intense rush—too fast, and not fast enough. I gasp with the clenching of my muscles and then I am there, tumbling into the dark place that is not danger but pleasure, millions of sensations rolling through me, overwhelming me. In some distant part of my mind, I register Liam’s groan, the shake of his body, the tension in his muscles. For long moments, or perhaps minutes, we just hold each other. Time stands still and then slowly comes back to me. It is then that I become aware of the dampness between my thighs and the reality of what has just happened. Panic rises in me.

Flashes of fire burn in my mind.

“Get off me,” I order. “Get off. Let me down from the dresser.” My heart is thundering and my hands are shaking.

Liam leans back, looking baffled. “Amy—”

“Let me go, Liam. Let me go now.”

There is a stunned look on his face, but he doesn’t argue. He pulls out of me and he tries to help me off the dresser, but I don’t let him. I jump off the edge and run to the bathroom, grabbing a towel and cleaning myself up. I can feel him behind me, watching me. I can’t even clean up without him hovering. I can’t control my life when he’s controlling it, and yet another eruption of emotion is on me before I can stop it.

I whirl on him. “We didn’t use a condom.”

He runs a hand through his hair. “The chances that—”

“Don’t downplay it. Don’t tell me the odds of me being pregnant are slim.” My voice cracks. I think I might cry. “There is a chance. There’s a big chance.” I look down and I’m still in my stupid sandals, though somehow my shirt is gone. I look ridiculous and I don’t care. “I cannot be pregnant. I can’t be.”

“Is having my baby that horrible?”

“My God. You of all people who have women chasing your money should be freaked out right now.”

“I’m not.”

“You should be. You should be, Liam. I don’t know why you don’t get it. Everyone in my life dies. They die. Our baby—” He steps toward me and I hold up a hand. “Don’t even think about it. You acted like an ass tonight and this is what happened. This is where it got us.”

“I’ll protect you. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Do you think my father wanted to let my mother die?” I’m shouting.

I never shout but I’m shouting. “You can’t protect me. No one can.” I’ve said too much, but it’s too late. I can’t even seem to care. My chest is heaving, my body trembling.

He stares at me, and the torment in his eyes rips through my emotions and creates more. I am on overload, tunneling into the abyss, and I do not know what to do. Suddenly, I feel him, rather than my panic. He’s hurt. He’s really hurt. I don’t want to care, but I do. “Liam—”

He turns and disappears. I stare after him and fight through a million emotions. He was an ass tonight and I should be furious, but there was something in him just now, really during this whole encounter, that I have never felt from him. Something painful.

I grab the red silk robe he’d given me from the back of the door and tie it around me before seeking Liam out. I find him on the couch, his elbows on his knees, his head on his hands.

“Liam?”

He looks up at me and there is more turbulence, more darkness.

“You’re right. I was an ass. My father called today, and it’s not an excuse.

It’s just a fact. I always say I won’t let him mess with my head, but he does.”

“Your father? I thought he was gone?”

“Like I said. Sharks swimming at my feet, baby. He only calls when he wants money or he’s in trouble. It started out with him wanting to make amends, and have his son back in his life years ago, but it was only about money.”

Oh, God. The way he values honesty makes sense now. I want to go to him but I’m afraid he’ll stop talking. “He just…” He scrubs his jaw and starts again. “He was drunk driving today and hit a car with a family in it.”

I grab my stomach. “Oh, God. No.”

He nods. “A little girl’s mother is now in intensive care and she was in the car while her mother almost bled to death. I’d just found out when I went to Earl’s. I felt like being with you would somehow…” He hesitates. “I saw you with him, and I snapped. I’m sorry.”

I rush forward and I go down on my knees in front of him, my hands settling on his knee.

“I’m sorry. I would never make you feel like I made you feel tonight on purpose.”

“You didn’t make me feel this. I did. I think maybe I have a little too much of my pops in me for both our good.”

“No. You were human tonight, Liam.”

“You don’t get it. Every time he does this, I crawl out of my own skin.

I have to go to New York. I booked the last flight out tonight.”

I don’t even hesitate in my response. “I’ll go with you.” He needs me.

I have to be there for him. I won’t be anywhere anyone will find me. I’ll be with Liam. I’ll be safe.

“No. This will hit the papers and if you’re with me, you will, too. We both know you can’t have that happen.”