Enflame (Insight #6)(73)
I leaned down and grabbed my sketchpad and started to walk back to the house. I could feel the nervousness of Charlie in the distance, which caused a horrible guilt to build in me. They had no idea what they were up against tonight, and I had no idea if I could protect them.
I sat down on the steps of my porch, debating whether to go over to August’s home and tell them all I knew, allowing us all to decide if this was a good idea or not. I ultimately decided that I wanted someone to look me in the eye and tell me exactly how dangerous this Xavier guy was, how dangerous this could be for Madison and the others.
I closed my eyes, calmed my breath, and thought of Drake’s chambers. A moment later, I appeared there, just behind him...finding him all alone.
Chapter Fifteen
Drake was standing in front of a full-length mirror, adjusting his tie. My eyes drifted over him, taking in how powerful every part of him was, the magnetism I could feel in the air. It caused insane guilt to build in me, but I missed him. I missed having him at my side, untangling the fate that had chased us through eternity.
I was off to the side of the mirror behind him, so he couldn’t see me. But, the deep breath he inhaled, the way his strong, lean body stood at attention, it all told me he felt me. Just as I went to step closer to him, to find a way to talk all of this out, I heard my name being called by the sweetest voice. It made me lose my focus and rushed my soul back to my body, which was sitting on my front steps.
Before me was Preston. His emotions were near peaceful, but his baby blue eyes reflected sadness.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, reaching for his tiny arms.
“Willow, that’s not good.”
“What’s not good?”
“Going there.”
“We shouldn’t go there—like tonight? I need to stop this ball?”
He let out a little sigh and pulled away from my touch, then sat down next to me, bringing his elbows to his knees so his chin could rest in his hands.
“No.”
“What, then? What is bad?”
He tilted his head, which was still in his hands, to look up at me. “You can’t distract him.”
“Oh,” I muttered, reaching for a lemon drop so it could help me swallow my guilt. “I just wanted to talk about some things that were going to happen tonight.”
“He would not have heard your words.”
I blushed. “You’re right. That was stupid,” I said as I thought of how angry it would have made everyone if they knew I intended to carve out a moment or two of alone time with Drake.
“It’s okay to love him, Willow, but it’s not okay not to let him love anyone else.”
That really made me feel sick to my stomach. I squinted my eyes closed until I felt control come back to me.
“I wasn’t trying to do that, but I get it. He is about to go on his first real, formal date with Madison. I would have given him doubt.”
“You give him doubt by existing,” he said with a boyish smirk.
I elbowed him gently, which caused his smile to broaden.
“How did you know what I was up to? Or were you just coming by to see me?”
He scooted closer to me. Thinking he was cold, I unzipped my hoodie and wrapped one side of it around him.
“I felt myself fading,” he whispered.
“I see. So I guess it’s true: this thing between the three of us is hurting you and the others.”
“Not painful,” he promised.
“What do you see when you meditate?” I asked, letting my hand gently glide across his tiny back.
“Nothing, really. Stars, sometimes. When I see the stars, I know it’s getting better.”
“You’re seeing stars now? Did you this morning?”
“I saw more than I did last night.”
“Well, how about this: I will promise to leave Drake be so you can see all the stars you want, so we can help lots and lots of people. Stay focused.”
“You can’t leave him be,” he said, looking up at me. “He needs you. He just didn’t need you at that moment. Everything is too new, happened too fast. It has to settle, but even when it does, it will still hurt some.”
“I don’t want him to ever hurt.”
“It will hurt both of you. We are meant to love everyone and everything, but that is hard to do when you have a body, when the world says one and only one.”
“Very true, little man.”
A long silence passed between us, then I continued.
“So,” I said, nodding my head toward August’s home, “I don’t suppose you have any inside information about what is going on over there? What battle they’re facing?”
“Not your story,” he said with a slight giggle, knowing what I was up to and clearly blocking me.
“True, but I don’t want them wrapped up in something that has nothing to do with them. They have a good family at home that misses them very much.”
“We all do,” he said calmly as he gazed forward into nothing. His words were heavy, with deeper meaning than a first glance would offer. I wondered for a moment if home for him was on the other side of reality.
I didn’t push him for more information. I just let him be a little boy in my arms. We watched the butterflies, the birds, even played a game of tag. It felt so peaceful to be in his presence. I was chasing him through the field, finding it harder than I should to catch him, when Landen appeared in front of him, caught him, and spun him around.