Empty Secrets (Back Down Devil MC #5.5)(6)

Just what I need… some bitch to die in my arms.





three.



ONE HOUR EARLIER



Lena took the knife from the butcher’s block and turned, swinging it in the air.

I can do this. I can survive this. I can…

She dropped the knife. It landed, pointed down, in the cheap, linoleum floor, an inch from her big toe. She looked at the chipped orange nail polish on her toe and the knife.

Her hands were shaking already.

“Lena?” a voice called out.

“Hold on…”

“Dear, what is… oh, my…”

“It’s okay, Annie,” Lena said.

Annie looked at the knife and then Lena. “Did you cut yourself, dear?”

“No, I didn’t,” Lena said. She held up her hands and showed them to Annie. “See? All good. I just… my hand must have been wet. The knife slid out and hit the floor.”

Annie touched her cheek and then touched the cross around her neck. “Well thank the Lord you didn’t cut yourself. Or drop the knife on your foot. Oh, dear, that would have…”

“It’s okay,” Lena said. “I’ll be right in, okay?”

“Okay,” Annie said. “Yell if you need my help.”

Annie shuffled away and Lena let out a needed sigh. She helped poor Annie a few times a week because everything was connected within the family. That’s how Victor had put it a long time ago. When the family needs something, we take care of it.

That was a time when Lena maybe liked Victor. Okay, fine, maybe there was love. A flicker of love between them. Just because there was something about Victor and the power he had. Stupid money and stupid power. Men flaunting that shit like it mattered and woman dumb like Lena falling for it. The same vicious cycle over and over.

What had started as a fun little date, turned into a second and third date, turned into Lena spending a weekend in a hotel room with Victor. She eventually was let into his violent world. He told Lena he was doing it because he loved her, because he wanted her to see what it was like to be him. In truth, Victor showed her violence to keep her tame. To make it so she couldn’t leave him because the violence would then turn to her. Victor was handsome in a clean cut way. He had manipulative eyes and a manipulative smile, but worse than that, his heart was the most manipulative thing about him. There was no such thing as emotion. He just ran with his environment and came out alive. Because if it all fell apart, he would bring out the muscle. And not his own, which he didn’t have much of. Victor’s muscle was in the form of weapons, or thug bullies, that wore suits. The guys were massive and they’d always take their suit jackets off before hurting someone. Under the suit jackets they wore guns and sleeveless shirts.

The sight was terrifying.

But it all had gone too far.

Too f*cking far…

Lena crouched and pulled the knife out of the floor. She stood back up and held it tight in her hand. She pictured Victor in front of her. Eye level with her. He was short, but that didn’t matter. It never mattered. But it was… weird. Lena always pictured cuddling up to someone bigger than her. Strength, calmness, love. Everything in silence. That’s where the power came from.

Not this life.

She stabbed the air and licked her dry lips. She wondered just what she would have stabbed on Victor. Knowing her luck and worry, she’d end up cutting his arm or something. And then he’d kill her. Without hesitation.

Lena knew too much.

And after what she had found out…

“Lisa?” a weak voice called. “Oh, my, it hurts!”

Lena put the knife down. She rushed from the small kitchen, through the small dining room, to find poor Annie standing next to her old green recliner chair cradling her left hand. There were tears in her aged blue eyes.

“Lisa… I’ve been calling for you…”

Lena had long gotten used to Annie calling her the wrong name. It was all just part of Annie’s life now. She was old, confused, and was just enjoying what time she had left in this world. The woman had a rainbow array of pills that needed to be taken throughout the day, with times of clarity that were beautiful and sharp, and other times of anger and confusion that broke Lena’s heart.

“What’s wrong, Annie?”

“You made the coffee too hot.”

Lena saw the coffee mug tipped to the side on the tray next to the chair. The coffee had been there for hours now. It was impossible to be hot, but Lena knew not to argue with Annie. She approached the woman carefully and asked to see her hand.

Annie had long and crooked fingers. Lena knew they had to have once been long and slender fingers. Beautiful fingers on a beautiful woman.

“Your hand looks fine to me,” Lena said softly. “I can get you some ice if you’d like. But I think you’ll be okay.”

Lena looked Annie in her eyes and smiled.

“He never loved me, Lisa. Never loved me.”

“Who didn’t?”

“My sweet Anthony. He never loved me. He always wanted…” Annie slowly turned her head and sighed. “Oh, my, look at that mess.”

“It’s okay, Annie,” Lena said. “Here, sit down. Let me put on the evening news for you. Okay? I’ll make more coffee if you’d like.”