Elite (Eagle Elite #1)(58)

“You forget. Technically I have De Lange blood in me too,” I muttered.

“Right. Which means I really should have killed Phoenix.” He scowled and pulled his arm away from me. With a curse he sat on the bed and rubbed his hands over his face. “He can’t ever find out who you are. If he does…Trace, he’s dangerous, seriously. We’ve been keeping tabs on him. He’s lost his freaking mind. He’s next in line after his father dies, and his father’s too much of a coward to tell Phoenix when he’s out of line. I have no doubt that family is into some shady business.”

“Do I want to know what shady business is?”

Nixon took a deep breath. “Probably the sex trade, cocaine, money laundering, typical things you’d see on TV, but definitely not what this family is about that’s for sure.”

I don’t know why I felt so relieved. It’s not as if I could help who I loved, even if he was involved with terrible things. I couldn’t just pull away from family.

“What do you do?”

“A little of this and a little of that.” He smirked. “Nothing too illegal. We aren’t desperate for money unlike some people.”

“I’m sorry.” I huffed, feeling tears start to burn the back of my eyes. “For leaving you. I’m so damn sorry, Nixon. I remember. I saw a picture of us when we were little and… I left you! I promised I would keep you safe and I left you!”

Full on sobs were escaping my throat now as I hunched over and hugged myself.

“Trace, sweetheart.” Nixon lifted me closer to him and pulled me onto his lap. “Those were pretty big promises coming from a six year old. There was no way you could have protected me from him… or Monroe.”

“But I promised—”

“—and I promised I’d find the people who killed your parents. So I guess we both failed, Trace.”

“You’ll find them,” I said through my tears. “You won’t give up?”

“No.” He kissed my cheek and then my lips, gently licking the salt from my bottom lip before pulling back. “I just… Trace, I have to keep order between all the families here. The three families have been just fine for the past ninety years. If something happens… if the balance is thrown off, or God forbid, if any of the originals hear about the happenings with Phoenix…” He trembled against me. “Believe me, you do not want any of the Sicilians traveling to the states.”

“They won’t.” I kissed his mouth. “Phoenix hasn’t done anything yet and when he does… you’ll be there.”

Nixon’s eyes closed briefly. When he opened them they were full of sadness. “Yes, but so will you.”

“By your side,” I confirmed.

Nixon didn’t say anything. His mouth found mine and I fell against the bed as his body hovered over me. His lips saying what his words couldn’t. I wrapped my arms around his neck and coaxed him toward me. With a grunt and then a masculine groan he swept his arms around me and under my shirt.

“Damn.” He growled the minute his hands came into contact with my bra.

“What?” I kissed his neck.

“Your grandpa’s going to shoot me if he finds out I’m doing this right now… I promised…”

He didn’t finish the sentence because my hands had already found his lean muscled stomach. I was drawing circles with my fingers across his hip bones. He closed his eyes. “I need you to remember something, Trace.”

“What?”

He kissed me softly across the lips and stared directly into my eyes. “When I make a promise I keep it. Regardless of whom it hurts, even if it means it hurts me or someone I care about the most. Sometimes… sometimes in life we’re asked to sacrifice something for the greater good.”

“Okay, you’re making me nervous. Can’t we just make out?”

Nixon’s smile was sad. “I love you, Trace. I always have. Just remember that, okay? Hold on to it. No matter what I say or what I do… and trust me, I’ll do some terrible things. Just know. I love you. With every fiber of my being.”

Tears clouded my vision as I nodded and brought him in for another kiss. “I love you too,” I said across his lips.

“I have to go.”

“Don’t!” I didn’t mean to yell.

Laughing, he lay back down on top of me, careful to keep his weight off so I could still breathe. “Trace… your grandfather’s not a patient man. Let’s not give him a heart attack.”

“Seeing us make out would not give him a heart attack,” I argued. “You taking me up on my whole virginity offer? Yeah, that would do it.”

Nixon froze above me. His eyes wild. “Please. Just please don’t ever. Trace, you have to promise — shit, you have to promise that no matter what happens, you wait, okay? You wait until it’s with someone you love.”

My smile widened. Because I knew he was talking about him. After all we’d basically just declared ourselves. I nodded just once and kissed him on the cheek. “I promise.”

His chest rose and fell as if he’d just run a marathon. He nodded once, his eyes welling with tears. Had I said something wrong? I pulled his face to mine and kissed him, this time slowly memorizing the way his lips slid past mine, creating the perfect amount of friction as they teased and taunted. His tongue. Good Lord that tongue could make a girl throw caution to the wind.