Duty(68)

He hangs up the phone and looks over at me. “The reports are unclear now, but both the CO and XO for Alpha Company were choppered out after the firefight. One of them had some pretty severe injuries, but the Pentagon's still trying to get confirmation on everything. Morgan . . . I'm sorry. I was hoping to give you some good news.”

I shake my head, getting to my feet. “Sir . . . you did your best. With your permission, I think I'd like to take the rest of the day off though. I think I'd like to pick my son up from daycare early, if possible.”

“Permission granted. Just . . . just have hope, Morgan. He's not KIA, we know that much. Remember that.”

I nod and leave the office, gathering my cap and walking out without talking to anyone. I'm in half a daze as I reach my car, and it's only inside that I'm able to start crying. Aaron's class ring hangs heavily between my breasts, and I clutch it to my chest, praying to whatever is listening that he comes back to me. Just . . . I need him to come back.



It's Sunday, and for the first time in years, I'm not up. I just don't care. I don't care about eating. I don't care about bathing. And if it wasn't for Lance needing food, I'd probably not be waking up at all except to piss every once in a while. Now, Sunday afternoon, and I'm still deep in the dark depths of depression.

“Mommy?” Lance asks, coming over to the couch, where I'm wrapped in Aaron's green girl comforter. He's tried to be good, I know he has, even though he doesn't understand what's going on. He just knows that his Daddy had some trouble, and that I'm worried about him. But after the forced play of Friday, I haven't been able to keep it up, and a day and a half of sitting around the house is wearing on him. There's only so much Disney channel even a boy his age can watch. “Mommy, I want to go for a bike ride.”

“Not right now, Lance,” I mumble, turning over. “Maybe later.”

“You said that before lunch!” Lance whines, and I turn on him, angry.

“We'll go bike riding when I say we can go bike riding!” I snap, yelling even though I don't mean to. “Now leave me alone!”

Lance backs up like I just slapped him and puts his head down, his tiny little voice breaking my heart. “I'm sorry, Mommy.”

He leaves the room, and a few minutes later, I hear him crying, trying not to be loud, but still, the heart-wrenching sobs rip away the depression I'm feeling, replacing it with disgust at what I just did. My son, and I treated him like that? Worst mother ever.

I get up and go to his room, where he's lying on his bed, turned away from me, still crying softly. I sit down and put my hand on his shoulder, causing him to sniff loudly, trying to be quieter. “I'm sorry, Lance. I was wrong to yell at you.”

He doesn’t respond. Sighing, I shake my head, feeling even more like shit. “Buddy . . . I was wrong. Since hearing about Daddy being in a fight, I've been scared, baby. I don't want him to be hurt, and I didn't want to scare you either, so I didn't tell you everything that's been going on. But that meant that I kept getting more and more scared, and I haven’t looked after you like I should have the last couple of days.”

Lance turns over, sniffing and wiping at his nose. “You’re sad?”

“Yes, baby,” I whisper, starting to cry. I reach out, and he sits up, hugging me tightly. We both cry, so much so that I don't hear the knock on my door until it's repeated louder. I let go of Lance and take his hand. “Let's see who it is . . . and then after that, we'll go for a bike ride.”

Lance nods, and we get off his bed, walking to the front door. There's a third knock, and then a voice outside. “Lindsey? Sergeant Morgan! It's Pete Lemmon! Open up!”

I open the door and see Captain Lemmon standing there, a West Point t-shirt on, a grin on his face. “Sir? What is it?”

“It's good news,” Captain Lemmon says, trying not to smile more. “I just got off the phone with the S-1. He's been a bug in his buddy's ear for the past two days. The Pentagon just got an update from the brigade in Afghanistan.”

“Aaron?” I ask, squeezing Lance's hand. “Is Aaron okay?”

Captain Lemmon nods. “Yes. The officer with the concussion was the CO, who's being flown out of country now. Aaron's being treated at a field hospital, off the line in Kabul for something or the other, but he's going to be okay. I don't have much more info right now, but I'm already working a connection I've got. That hospital has video conferencing capabilities, and I'm going to do what I can to get a call set up ASAP. Earliest is going to be tomorrow though. Think you can hang on that long?”

I look at Lance, who nods, smiling. “Can I see Daddy?”

Captain Lemmon kneels down, looking Lance in the eye. “Yes, son, that means you should be able to see him. Gimme a little time though.”

“Okay, sir!” Lance says, grinning.

I stand there, still shocked and happy, while Captain Lemmon looks at me. “You okay, Lindsey?”

I nod, tears of happiness coming to my eyes. “Yes, sir.”

He puts an arm around my shoulder and gives me a squeeze, chuckling. “When I'm off duty, I think you can start to call me Pete, okay? Especially if you're Aaron's girl. Just off duty though.”