Driftwood Lane (Nantucket #4)(17)

“I checked him out. He had glowing references and a very reasonable bid.”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve got it under control. I expected no less from my little go-getter.”

He began talking about one of his client’s sloppy records and the debacle it had caused for him that day. Meridith wanted to tell him about her ruined cinnamon rolls and a story Max had shared over dinner, but by the time he finished his detailed story, her energy had evaporated and she was eager to be off the phone.

She needed to tell him about her decision to keep the children, but it was late, too late to introduce a heavy topic, and besides, she was losing energy by the second.

Ten minutes later she flipped her phone closed and drifted off to the muted sound of the wind chimes.

A voice screamed. Meridith bolted upright. What was that? Had she been dreaming? She checked the clock. It was after midnight. Her heart beat so hard, the bed shook with the pounding. Her ears perked, listening for whatever had woken her.

“No!”

Max! She leapt from the bed and raced toward the boys’ room. What if someone was hurting him? What if the nice-seeming Mr. Brown really wasn’t nice at all? If only Jake had finished the upstairs partition.

It seemed to take an hour to reach the room. She flipped on the light. Max thrashed in the bed, his face screwed up as if he were in torment. He whimpered. In the top bunk, Ben somehow slept peacefully.

Meridith perched on the bed’s edge and shook his shoulders. “Max!”

He moaned and jerked his head.

She shook harder. “Max! Wake up.”

His eyes opened. They were glassy, staring sightlessly into the corner.

“Max, you were having a nightmare.”

The poor kid. It might’ve been kinder to let the nightmare continue. At least then he wouldn’t wake to the reality that his parents were indeed gone.

Max blinked, looked around the room, trying to find his bearings. His gaze lost the foggy look, then settled on Meridith.

“You were having a nightmare,” she said again, not knowing what else to say. His eyes teared up, then overflowed.

Meridith swallowed against the lump in her own throat. “It’s okay.”

She wished she had words that would erase the pain on his face.

He drew in a shuddery breath and closed his eyes. A fat tear clung to his long eyelashes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head. Poor dear. She wished she knew what to do. Wished she were more like Rita and could just envelop him in a tight hug, but her hands lay in her lap, uncertain.

“Okay. Well. Try to get some sleep.” She eased off the mattress.

“Don’t go!” His fear-filled eyes popped open. His chubby fists clenched the quilt, then loosened, opening and closing compulsively.

“It’s okay. I’m right across the hall.”

He bolted upright, his head narrowly missing the top bunk. “Please!”

Meridith looked at the tiny twin bed. No room there, but there was a large rug beside the bed. If she grabbed her covers, she could make a pallet.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.” She went to her room, dragged the covers from the bed, and grabbed her pillow and clock. When she returned, Max was still upright, waiting.

She spread the blanket on the rug, lay down, then folded it over. Only when she was settled did Max lie back.

She listened to Ben’s soft breathing and wondered how long it would take poor Max to fall back asleep.

“Meridith?” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

“What’s heaven like?”

His quiet question echoed through her mind, searching for an answer that would put his mind at ease. “There are golden streets. And gates of pearl. It’s beautiful there.”

“And God’s there.”

“Yes. God’s there.”

He was quiet so long she thought he might have drifted off. But then he spoke. “They loved God a lot, so they’re happy to be with him, right?”

Meridith couldn’t imagine any parent being happy absent their children. Still. “Heaven is a happy place. No tears or anything . . . only joy.”

The words seemed to soothe his worries, and he fell quiet, his breaths gradually growing deeper.

She wondered about Max’s nightmare. Did he have them often? Was it normal for a child who suffered a trauma?

What did she know about kids? Normal kids, much less those who’d recently suffered a tragedy? How was she equipped to handle this? What if she did everything wrong and they ended up with a childhood as warped as her own? The anxiety knotted her insides, tensing her muscles.

She started her progressive relaxation technique, beginning with her facial muscles and working down into her torso, legs, then feet. Five minutes later her muscles were more relaxed, but her mind still fretted.

She hated this. Hated the lack of peace she’d had since coming here. She wanted life back the way it was, back to orderliness and structure. Back to her quiet world.

Beside her a deep snore erupted from Max. At least he was sleeping. Now if only she could quiet her own nightmare. After taking a few calming breaths, she began counting backward from one thousand in multiples of twenty-three.





Ten

Meridith tugged the sheet and tucked it tightly under the mattress. In the doorway, Ben ran his fingers up the painted doorframe, humming. He’d hardly left her side since he’d rolled out of bed.