Don't Get Caught(61)

“Holy shit,” Wheeler says.

Holy shit is right.

When the game resumes, the team’s play is chaotic. Asheville gives up two quick goals and loses the lead. Stranko calls another time-out. This time though, he doesn’t raise his voice. He keeps looking toward the parking lot with a dazed, humble look, like he’s expecting Adleta to return. In fact, Stranko doesn’t shout once the rest of the game, not even with one minute remaining when it’s clear Asheville’s going to lose. It’s like Adleta’s exit has lobotomized him. When the clock runs out, Asheville’s lost by only one, but somehow it feels like they’ve lost by a lot more.

Later that night, a single cryptic text arrives from Adleta.

Thx.

I don’t understand Tim’s message until later in the week when the Malone-Libby powder keg finally detonates in Watson’s room.

? ? ?

Thursday’s Big Question of Existence is “Does everything happen for a reason?” The class is evenly split on the question, but I’m firmly entrenched on the no side. As much as I’d like to believe there’s some master plan, I can’t buy into the idea that some set of galactic directions manipulates my life. And if the universe is really letting, say, little kids get sick and die “for a reason,” then I say screw you, universe.

The only drawback to having this stance today is that Libby Heckman agrees and is at the desk next to me. You’d think the goldfish incident would’ve deflated her some, maybe even scared her off of Malone, but no, especially not today, with Malone on the other side of the argument.

“I don’t fully buy into determinism,” Malone says, “but I can’t just accept free will either. There’s a side of me that wants to believe I’m a part of something bigger. I guess it makes me feel less alone.”

Lots of people on both sides agree with this.

Libby, not so much.

She raises her hand and says, “I think people like to believe everything happens for a reason so they don’t have to take responsibility for themselves.”

“Care to elaborate?” Mr. Watson says.

“Well, if you believe everything happens for a reason, then you’re admitting you don’t have any control over what you do. And that means you never have to regret anything.”

Fair point.

Unfortunately, Libby doesn’t stop there.

“And if you don’t have to regret anything, then it’s not your fault if you ruin your life. Is that why you like to believe it all happens for a reason, Kate? So you don’t have to regret a decision that ruins your life?”

All eyes turn to Malone. She’s never taken Libby’s bait, no matter how bad it’s gotten. Today’s different though.

“If you have something to say, Libby, go ahead and say it. I won’t stop you.”

Libby has daggers in her smile. She leans forward on her desk and says, “There’s nothing to say that everyone doesn’t already know about you being a slut, Kate. I’m just telling it like it is.”

“Which is just a way to justify being mean to people, but that’s your right,” Malone says. “Here’s the thing though, Libby—I sort of agree with you. Not about me being a slut, but about how it feels to regret something. Probably not in the way you mean though.”

Libby chuffs in a Well? way, like she’s impatient, but she shifts just a tiny bit in her seat. There’s no way she was expecting Kate to defend herself.

“Looking back on it,” Malone says, “yeah, I regret sending Troy that picture of me. But not because it makes me a slut like you tell people. I regret it because I did it for his approval, and as a feminist, I shouldn’t need any boy’s approval to feel confident. I definitely won’t be doing that again.”

Libby chuffs some more. She’s so good at it that she had to be a steam engine in a past life.

“But what I really regret is wasting my time worrying so much about you. I don’t think about my mom or my friends as much as I’ve thought about you. I even catch myself having arguments with you in my head. That’s just sad on my part. Who wants to live that way? I’m better than that. So in order to let all this go once and for all, I need to apologize.”

“For what?”

“Well, for two things: One, for getting in the way of you and Troy. I honestly thought you two were finished, but apparently you weren’t. You and I were friends in art, and I should have asked you what the situation was before agreeing to go out with him. It did nothing but cause problems, and girls shouldn’t treat each other like that.”

“Whatever,” Libby snorts.

“And two, I apologize for your drawing. I feel bad for what happened to it in the display case, because that piece was really excellent and I destroyed it. You shouldn’t have had to suffer that sort of humiliation. Believe me, I know.”

“You’re the one who did that?” Libby gapes at Malone, who’s looking back at her with just the slightest of smiles.

“You’re in so much trouble,” Libby says, tears pooling in her eyes.

“Probably.”

“I’m going to get you expelled.”

“Okay.”

“You think your life was ruined before, it’s over now!”

“Maybe.”