Dollars (Dollar #2)(90)

The contradiction of such comfort was negated every time his body jerked inside mine.

“Shit, Pim, I’m sorry. I…I—shit.”

Gritting his teeth, he pulled me away from him, his legs gathering to push me off.

I couldn’t bear to be tossed away after he’d stolen everything. I needed something to clutch while I became completely undone. Throwing myself forward, I gulped and suffocated in tears, drowning in every emotion I’d stopped myself from feeling for so long.

I needed his arms; otherwise, I’d die. I needed him to hold me now he’d decimated the podium I’d stood on and left me in rubble.

I had no one else.

Not even myself.

His arms lashed tight. His lips landed on my scalp again, and he rocked me like an infant. He didn’t try to pull out, and the thickness of him coupled with the heaviness of his heartbeat surrounded me until my tears became waterfalls of grief.

I never thought sex would be my undoing.

Sex had been my nemesis for so long, but I’d blocked it out.

I couldn’t block him out.

I couldn’t stop the knowledge that while he’d taken me against my will, my body had invited it.

Time lost all meaning as he rocked and murmured and gave me a place to come undone all while he hugged me both inside and out.

My hips hurt spread over his. My * clenched against his invasion. My eyes blurred the world even as he remained hard and completely impaled inside me.

I ceased to be Alrik’s.

And became Elder’s instead.





WHAT THE FUCK was I thinking?

How had I let myself snap so totally? I hadn’t given in to my irresponsible compulsiveness for years, and now, I’d done the worst thing I could ever do.

Pim clung to me, bawling as if I could save her from the awful thing I’d just done. I hated that she still permitted me to be her saviour while I was no better than the men I’d stolen her from.

“It’s okay.” I stroked her hair, gritting my teeth every time her body shuddered and the delicious f*cking way it felt around my cock. “I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry.”

I couldn’t do this anymore. My self-control was at its frayed and bitter end. I’d have to sell her or just take her back and give her freedom.

I can’t do this.

So what she knew who I was and had enough evidence to have police come knocking on my door? I had to do the right thing for once, and the right thing was letting her go.

“Pim…it’s okay.”

The knowledge I’d grant her freedom calmed me a little. If I could piece her back together now, she would never have to see me again after tonight.

Taking a steady breath, I whispered, “Sit up, so I can eh…” What? Pull out. Remove myself from you. Stop raping you.

I cringed against such a word.

Pim hugged me tighter, her shoulders bunched as if she would be swept away if I let her go. Her teeth marks on my shoulder smarted, a faint tickle of liquid hinting she’d drawn blood.

Shit, if it meant she could reverse some of the damage I’d caused by delivering it on my skin, I’d gladly take it.

No wonder my family left me.

They were right.

Look at me.

I truly am a monster.

Holding her was the hardest f*cking thing I’d done. I wanted to disengage and give her some space. But if holding her until I died was what it took to redeem myself, then so be it.

I didn’t try to rush her.

While she cried, I did my best to deflate my cock but nothing worked. Her strength was what attracted me to her in the first place. Her tears were what made me snap now.

This felt like an end. I’d ruined it. I’d proven to her that my promises meant shit and she was right to look at me with accusation and suspicion. Right to believe I would one day hurt her because what the f*ck was I doing now?

I was inside her against her will. I’d taken something she wasn’t prepared to give. I’d lost control. Again.

Time ticked onward, but I never stopped stroking or cradling.

The gift she gave by allowing me to touch her after I’d forced myself onto her crippled me.

Slowly, Pim pulled away.

I expected her to stand and physically remove every part of me from her. However, her hands landed on either side of my face, her blue gaze searching mine as if hearing my grief and regret.

Her fingers were so soft they tickled as she traced my jaw. Tears fell from her eyes, an awful void inside her.

My gut spasmed. “What is it? What can I do? Name it. I’ll do whatever you need.”

Her touch turned fierce, holding me firm. Her mouth opened to speak.

To speak.

I stopped breathing, my ears throbbing to listen.

She swallowed hard, forehead furrowing with concentration. “El—”

My heart erupted. My cock doubled in size. If I hadn’t just taken her on the floor, I would’ve kissed, and f*cking kissed her.

She forced past her unused voice and finished. “Elder…”

My name.

Her first word was my name.

Her voice was everything I wanted and more. Accented, pure, feminine. I needed to come. I had no doubt if she commanded me to come in her perfect, pretty voice, I would.

I inhaled to reply, but she pressed two fingers over my lips and shook her head. She coughed, her eyes tightening against pain.