Dollars (Dollar #2)(51)

After watching him today, I was hesitant to speak badly of him.

“What am I saying!” She held up her hands. “I’m so sorry for being nosy. I don’t even know if you could ever talk. I never thought it might be a thing you’ve dealt with since birth. Forgive my ignorance.” Opening her purse, she pulled out dusky pink lipstick.

Painting her lips, she put the lid back on. “Changing the subject, let’s talk about that man out there.”

I froze.

What about him?

She smiled softly. “You do know he cares about you.”

Frost worked on my freeze, turning me rigid.

He does?

No, you’re mistaken.

He tolerates me, that’s all.

She couldn’t mean Elder. But there was no other man—apart from her husband. And technically, he did care. He’d saved me, killed for me, set me up with everything my body needed to heal.

She patted my hand, still locked on the tap. “You’re new to one another, aren’t you?”

I blinked.

“I remember those first days with Simo. It’s terrifying but thrilling, don’t you find?”

Terrifying, yes.

Thrilling…I hadn’t thought about it.

Elder did thrill me, but it wasn’t a happy thrill from passing a feared exam or surviving a crazy rollercoaster. This thrill was entirely different. I just didn’t know if it was from adrenaline of wanting to run away or needing to run closer so I could understand.

“Treat that man right, and he’ll do the same in return.” Dina removed a comb from the side of her head and repositioned it to scoop a cascade of black hair from her face. “That’s what today’s society has forgotten.”

Seeing her beautify an already beautiful face prompted me to stare hard at myself in the mirror. The shadows under my eyes were more grey than black, thanks to regular meals. My hair held a tentative shine as if wanting to return to glossiness but still afraid. And my collarbones still stuck out, but at least my arms weren’t as gaunt.

Was I pretty?

No, not really.

But I was a survivor, and I wholeheartedly accepted the girl before me because she was the first stepping-stone back to health.

Copying Dina, I combed my fingers through my hair and rubbed my skin to rid the heat shine on my forehead and chin.

Closing her purse, Dina said, “From a fifteen-year married woman to a girl in a new relationship, let me give you one word of advice.”

I sucked in a breath, my hands twisting my hair and draping the coiled mess over my shoulder.

“Treat him right because men respond to praise. If they know they’ve done well, they want to try harder. If they see how happy they make you, they’ll do more to keep you that way. Don’t belittle them and never, ever blame them for things that aren’t their fault. Even the things that are their fault, give them some slack.”

You make them sound like a dog.

She turned, giggling. “I didn’t exactly make that point eloquently—they aren’t an animal. Well, sometimes, they can be.” Her eyes twinkled. “Simo is the public speaker, not me. All I mean is I see the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. There is suspicion there but interest too.”

She headed toward the door. “No matter what happens, never hold grudges. Grudges are the worst things in life. No matter if that grudge is justified, it’s the poison that kills entire cities.”

Even if I could talk, I wouldn’t have known what to say to that.

Instead, I trailed behind her and returned to the man she said cared for me.

“Are you okay?”

Elder’s voice interrupted my daydreaming, wafting away Dina as if she were a whiff of incense. His exotic aftershave tantalized my nose, buying into the analogy.

I squinted at his height, vaguely making out the dragon tattoo on his chest beneath the white cotton wrapped around his torso.

He narrowed his eyes as if wondering where my mind had gone and dying to ask. But he wouldn’t. He knew by now he wouldn’t get an answer.

Pointing at my legs, he grumbled, “Are you tired? Do you hurt? Should I call for the car?”

I hadn’t even noticed the slight ache in my hips from walking after so long of being huddled in a ball. I didn’t feel the burn of a freshly formed blister from the slightly too big gold sandals—even the throb in my knees and tongue couldn’t steal what this day meant to me.

The only thing I did notice was how bright the sun was and how I’d stupidly left the hat I’d commandeered this morning in the restaurant.

Whoops.

Would he punish me for that? Would he even notice?

Today had started off terrifying with Elder stripping me in the lift. But it had ended in female company and sunshine, and he could never take that away from me. Whatever minor discomforts I suffered was nothing compared to the pricelessness of such an adventure.

However, the longer we were in public, the stronger Alrik hovered in my mind—his ghost doing its best to scare me by making me suspect the men walking close by. I jolted from raised voices and winced when shopkeepers raised their arm to tote their wares.

All mundane things but in them I saw a torturer, a scream, and abuse.

I was happy.

I was nervous.

It was a constant battle to stay in the moment.

But for the first time, I actually wanted to be present. Not in the future where I was safe with my mother and friends. Not in a police building about to inform the world of the QMB and begin the tirade on saving the women I’d been sold with.