Dollars (Dollar #2)(19)

Power that I’d done my best to cling to sprang to life.

Beneath my bruises and memories, I was still Tasmin. Still a girl who wanted to go home and hug her mother. Yet as I strode to the walk-in wardrobe and selected a black shift that tumbled over my head in a whisper of finery, I feared I teetered on a very unstable edge.

My vulnerability was twisting, changing. After two years of being someone else’s toy, the same evil I’d been hurt with had infected me. I was no longer soft or hopeful but hard and cynical.

If Elder wanted me, I couldn’t do anything to stop him. I just didn’t know if I would be able to remain the girl I’d been or if I’d evolve into a complete stranger when he did.





“I’M IMPRESSED. YOU found me.” Elder cocked his head, holding a small glass of clear liquid. If I hadn’t watched him at Alrik’s and noticed he refused every drop of liquor, I might’ve thought it was vodka. Armed with the tiny piece I already knew of him, I suspected it was just water.

His black eyes slid over me with a lethal calm. “I see I’ll have to order dresses a few sizes smaller.”

I didn’t stroke the black cotton encasing my body like a normal girl being inspected might. I’d had that stupidity beaten out of me. I stood military still, accepting his assessment. I didn’t let him know that I liked how big it was, how loose and floaty. The black straps barely clung to my shoulders as if apologetic to touch me while the size allowed air to provide a buffer between my skin and the material.

“You can come closer, you know.” Elder placed his glass on the wooden table.

My fingers fluttered over the small map of his home. I’d taken a few wrong turns down luxurious corridors and peeked into opulent drawing rooms and suites, but I’d made it in time.

Taking a small step toward him, I glanced at the decadent spread of fresh grapes, watermelon slices, and crisp green apples on a platter in the centre. Everything about this was the opposite of my previous world.

Walking had been tiring due to my healing body, but I wasn’t riddled with pain. The carpet beneath my toes was thick and springy, keeping me warm rather than padding on cool marble tiles. If I were made to kneel in this place, at least my bones wouldn’t splinter when the order came.

He stood as I neared the table. I didn’t look away as he reached forward and plucked the map from my grip. My heart hissed like an adder as I tracked his large palm, hating that I tensed for a hit and was almost confused when it didn’t come. He just placed the map on the table and pulled out a chair for me.

I didn’t trust him.

I didn’t trust his calmness because I tasted the things he kept hidden. I remained stiff as I slipped into the offered seat, resting my hands on my lap.

Wordlessly, Elder moved back to his chair at the head of the table. He’d positioned me next to him. The rest of the long table was merely a runway for food, not offering any space between us.

Catching my gaze, he frowned.

What was this? A game before the true fun began?

A door slid open from behind me as two staff members entered and placed a bowl of green soup in front of us. Nodding respectfully, the head waiter said, “Tonight, your entrée is cold pea and cucumber soup with saffron butter. Please, enjoy.”

Bowing, the staff retreated, leaving Elder and me to stare silently at each other.

Neither of us reached for a spoon, not prepared to be the one who looked away first. Slowly, Elder reached for his glass, raising the glittering crystal to take a sip. His powerful neck rippled as he swallowed then cocked his head, studying me harder.

“Something’s different about you.”

I stilled.

Was I not permitted to change?

I didn’t even understand what had changed. I just felt…off. Not myself. If I couldn’t describe it, how could Elder already see it?

Depositing his glass, he rubbed his jaw. The five o’clock shadow was darker, as if he hadn’t shaved since the day we met over a week ago. “Are you okay? Minus the injuries and your tongue, of course?”

I picked up my spoon.

“I don’t understand it…” He trailed off, copying me as he pinched the delicate silver utensil. “But when you look at me, something’s disappeared.”

Disappeared?

Was that what’d happened? Had my dependency on being abused been deleted? Had my fear vanished?

No, the fear’s still there.

I checked inside for the remnants of the girl who’d been a pet, a possession. I still struggled, but Elder made me brave enough to look at him rather than avoid him.

The fact he let me get away with it encouraged me to be bolder, brazen. Was that what was happening? Had I finally had enough of merely existing and begun the process to claim myself again?

A headache looped around my temples, squeezing with heavy questions.

I don’t know anything anymore.

I’m tired.

I’m lost.

I’m alone.

Even No One can’t help me figure this out.

Angry tears once again tickled my spine. I spindled tighter, a shrapnel detonation just looking for an outlet to explode.

I need…help.

I need time.

I need…

I didn’t know what I needed. But it wasn’t him. It wasn’t this life. It wasn’t even kindness anymore.