Dirty (Dive Bar #1)(83)

I pressed a hand to my chest. Thump, thump, thump. Heart rate accelerated. Body shaking Sweat covered my back. This was not good. I picked up a menu and started fanning my face.

“Babe?”

“I don’t understand any of this,” I said, mostly to myself, but he was here too. Whatever.

Slowly, he pushed back his chair. He rose and came over to my side, crouching at my feet. A big warm hand covered my bare knee. I’d decided to wear a black pencil skirt on account of the hot weather. Thank god. Skin to skin with him made everything right. I calmed at his touch. My heart rate eased back to normal, my head no longer felt like it was about to explode. I wished that didn’t happen. Vaughan having any kind of physical effect on me did not bode well. I had no say over my emotions. It wasn’t too much to ask for my body to keep this crap under control, however. Surely not.

He took the menu out of my hand, placing it back on the table. I gave him my best bewildered stare. Seriously, it was a “what the f*ck” masterpiece.

“I came back,” he said softly.

“For how long?” I asked, blinking back the tears. Stupid glands.

“As long as it takes.”

Yeah. Okay. Enough. I leaned down, getting in his face. My mouth was a mean line. “As long as what takes? Can you please give me a straight f*cking answer before I kill you?”

His answering grin was like the sun coming out. Absolutely magnificent.

Then he lunged, grabbing hold of my face and kissing me stupid. I was, however, already a fool so I grabbed him right back. I clung to him, hands fisted in his shirt. Tongues, teeth, we were all over each other. Any children subjected to the spectacle would have required counseling, I’m certain. Apologies would have to be made later.

For now, I had him. And he felt like the whole damn world.

Once the kiss was done, he drew back, lips damp and eyes smiling. “I came back.”

“You came back,” I agreed, smiling despite all of the questions and the lingering doubt and pain in my heart.

“I’m crazy about you, Lydia. We wished it were different, me being in L.A. and you being here,” he said, eyes full of emotion. “So I’m making it different.”

I could only stare. It meant too much. I wanted him too badly.

“I’ll stay.” He cocked his head, stealing another quick kiss. “I canceled the house sale. Financially, I’ve got some issues. But Andre said I could start working with him tomorrow. Between that and the Dive Bar, I’ll get it sorted out. Haven’t worked out everything yet.”

“But your dream!”

“Funny thing about that dream,” he said. “It now includes being with you.”

My heart lurched again. It couldn’t be healthy. Any minute now, I’d probably hit the floor dead. “It does?”

“Yes.”

“And your band, working with Henning Peters? What about all that?” I demanded. “You said it was a big deal. The best opportunity you’d ever had.”

“Lydia, I’ve been chasing music all my life. But you’re the best opportunity I’ve ever had,” he said, tone deadly serious. “I’m sorry it took me leaving to figure that out.”

“You broke my heart.”

“Babe.” Regret filled his eyes. “I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah.” I sniffed.

“Can you ever forgive me?”

I pretended to ponder it for a moment. The man had done me damage.

“I’m so f*cking sorry I caused you pain. I’ll do my best to make sure it never happens again,” he said. “Can you please forgive me?”

“’spose so.” It’s extremely difficult to appear proud and dignified while your nose is leaking. But I did my best.

“Thank you.” He stroked my cheek.

“What will you do about your music? You can’t just stop.”

“No. I’ll always want to play. It’s a big part of me. I want to record my songs, perform them live. But I don’t necessarily need a band for that. I’ve been rethinking things,” he said. “Fact is, you come first for me. I’ve decided to go solo so I can be based here, organize my music so it fits in with us. But if I have to leave for work, go on tour, I’ll come back. Okay?”

“Okay.” Despite all of my deep breathing and blinking, tears started falling down my face. “All right.”

“You’ll move your stuff back into my house?”

“I don’t know,” I said, nerves buzzing. “You don’t think we should date? Maybe take things slow and do this properly?”

He scrunched up his nose. “Problem with that is, my dream also involves having lots of sex with you. I mean, a serious amount.”

“I see.”

“It’s not just about the sex, though. The dream is quite detailed.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” He reached out, wiping the tears from my face with a frown. “Stop that. I don’t like it. Didn’t come back to make you cry.”

“They’re happy tears. Leave them alone. The dream, Vaughan,” I prodded, slapping lightly at his hand.

He smiled. “It involves us going to sleep together and waking up together.”

“Okay.”