Dirty (Dive Bar #1)(10)

The room quieted again, both of us lost in our own thoughts for a moment.

“I’m on your side, Lydia.”

“Thank you,” I said. “And I know what sex is, Vaughan. Okay? There were hands, but neither of us came. Things got interrupted. He interrupted them, there was an important business call or something. Therefore, ‘sort of’ on the sex.”

Dead silence from the other side of the table.

“What?”

He held up a finger. “I’m still not mocking you.”

“Okay.”

“But anyone who’d stop feeling up or finger banging a woman in favor of taking a f*cking phone call is an inconsiderate * you shouldn’t be opening your legs for.”

“I’m seeing that now.”

“I’m serious, Lydia.”

I studied the tabletop, needing a moment to pull myself together. “How long have we known each other? What, half an hour, an hour?”

“Ah.” Turning in his seat, he checked out an old wooden clock on the kitchen wall. “Yeah. About that.”

“Are you aware that most people wait a little longer before discussing the rules of etiquette in regards to finger banging? Who they should and shouldn’t open their legs for? Things like that.”

“That so?”

“It is.”

“Well, f*ck.” He sat back, outright grinning at me, and it was stunning. Ridiculously so. The wide pull of his lips over white teeth, the amusement lighting his eyes. His thumb beat against the tabletop, moving the tendons in his arm, shifting all of the complex ink work on his skin.

Couldn’t help but wonder what his own drama was over.

“Most people don’t turn up in my tub in a wedding dress. But tell me, babe, how’s that worked out for you? Following all of the rules, being polite and toeing the line? Doing what most people do?”

“My name’s not babe.”

His shine dulled down to a patient smile. “How’s it worked out for you, Lydia?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

“Why did you have no one to run to today? Why’s no one got your back?”

“A last-minute emergency came up with my parents’ business. They were really apologetic, but … sometimes things happen, right? It’s nothing personal, they’re just the kind of people that live to work. That’s their life. I can pretty much count on one hand the number of birthdays, Thanksgivings, and Christmases we celebrated on the actual day.” I got busy finger combing my hair as best I could. It kept the fidgets from taking over. “Just as well they didn’t come to the wedding.”

Nothing was said. Though there seemed to be a sadness in his eyes, an understanding. Chris had blue eyes, but different from Vaughan’s. Darker. Flecks of hazel muddied their depths. Chris’s eyes had never struck me as being particularly expressive. Not like Vaughan’s. I guess it was all the secrets he was keeping, all the lies. Eyes as windows to the soul, or not. You can’t see into someone if they won’t let you.

“Honestly? The way I’ve lived my life has worked out shit for me, Vaughan.”

He just stared.

“Apart from letting Chris make me look like a total idiot. I was working with my fiancé, so I’m assuming I’m now out of a job. I gave up my apartment to move into the big house, so I have no idea where I’m sleeping tonight.” I crossed my arms over my breasts, covering up as much as I could. Nothing about laying myself open felt good. Of course, maybe it wasn’t supposed to. Especially not to a veritable stranger.

Whatever. The situation was what it was, and no matter how much anger I worked up at Chris, I’d played my part in getting here. I’d made bad choices. No point pretending otherwise. “It’s not just Chris’s fault, though. I think you could safely say I’m exceptionally shitty at relationships. We were constantly moving around when I was a kid. After a while I just didn’t bother making friends anymore, you know? It’s easier.”

He just watched me.

“I even pretty much kept to myself in college. Just concentrated on study and my waitressing job. Because work is everything, right? The guy I dated was pretty low key too. Neither of us were party animals.” I breathed out through my nose, shoulders slumping. “That romance kind of fizzled out after graduation.”

“Yeah?”

“He had this great opportunity overseas and I just wanted to find somewhere nice and settle. I tried a few different places. Coeur d’Alene was the first one that felt right. I’d make some friends outside of work, get to know my neighbors.” I stared off at nothing, avoiding whatever expression he had on his face. “That’s what’s normal, right?”

“One version of it, sure.”

“Hmm.” God, listening to myself try and explain my life made me want to forcibly throw myself off the nearest cliff. Or have a really full-on spa day. Either would probably do. “Given my history, its amazing I thought I had a clue what I was doing with Chris at all. I was the perfect target for his f*ckery.”

I forced a smile. “Idiot is definitely the word.”

“Don’t say that,” he admonished. “You were a little naive maybe, inexperienced. But you’re not an idiot.”

“Thanks. Anyhoo, enough of my pity party. So,” I said, squaring my shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. “I’m guessing you don’t follow the rules or worry about being polite and toeing the line. How’s that working out for you?”