Dirty Rogue: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance(104)

It’s not until I reach the end of the table and turn around, a bite of food already in my mouth, that I realize everyone is staring at me.

“Shit,” I say, softly, but the word still seems to echo throughout the room. The Spanish ambassador is glaring at me.

He was supposed to be the first person to go through the food line.

There will be a formal dinner in a few hours, but these events always begin with heavy appetizers. The several-course meals last for at least two hours, going late into the night. I didn’t feel like waiting.

I should have thought it through before I started stuffing my face.

The silence is suffocating.

I have no choice.

I turn and set my plate on the back edge of the table, and a member of the wait staff glides by and whisks it away.

“I’m sorry,” I mouth to the ambassador, my face on fire with embarrassment.

Slowly, the conversation starts up again, but my shoulders tense and fingers of mortification streak down my spine.

I stand rooted to the spot for a full thirty seconds before I find the courage to move to sit down among a row of seats next to the wall. After a minute, Alec joins me. I smile up at him. Never in my life have I been more desperate for someone to tell me that it was just a silly mistake, that my faux pas didn’t matter.

But his eyes are dark with anger.

“Jessica,” he hisses, keeping his face neutral, yet his anger is obvious. “Unbelievable!”

“I’m sorry,” I say quietly, standing up to face him but my eyes downcast in embarrassment. “I…I wasn’t thinking. I’ve been under some stress, and I got—.”

Alec scoffs. “You’ve been under stress? Give me a break.”

I jerk back at the sound of his tone. It almost feels like he’s slapped me in the face. “There’s no need to speak to me that way,” I respond, trying to retain my composure.

“I’ll speak to you however I want,” he spits, his face turning a deep red. “You’re in my kingdom now. If you’re not going to fall in line—.”

“Fall in line?” I gasp in shock, my voice coming out a little too loud and tears starting to burn in the corner of my eyes. I quickly lower it, but heads are turning to watch us. “Fall in line? I’ve been falling in line. I’ve done everything you’ve asked, and I’ve never once complained about—.”

This is useless. I might love Alec more than I have ever loved anyone, but he’s been sucked too far in to his princely role. He can’t see where I’m coming from. I straighten my back and look him directly in the eye, tilting my head in the smallest recognition of his status that I can manage. “You’ll have to excuse me, your highness,” I say sharply. “I’m not feeling well.”

I turn on my heel and stride as confidently as I can muster toward the exit, leaving Alec standing alone by the chairs.

I don’t look back.





Chapter 34

Alec





Goddamn it.

As I watch Jessica’s back retreating into the crowd toward the exit, guilt swells up so painfully in my chest that, for a moment, I think I might combust in anguish.

What the f*ck is wrong with me?

Jessica has stood loyally by my side through all of this, and for no other reason than because of her selfless love for me.

A wild, inexplicable love, but love nonetheless.

Why else would she have uprooted her life and followed me across the ocean without question after receiving an invitation from a man she barely knew?

She might not know me now.

I might not know me now.

I’ve been dismissive to women before—Emmaline comes to mind—but no matter how hot-headed I was with my father and brother, no matter how careless I was when it came to considering other people, I have never treated anyone as badly as I just treated Jessica.

In front of the royal household, my father, the staff and international guests, no less.

I should have paid more attention to her over the last ten days. Moving into the palace and being thrown into the royal routine the way she was would have been an adjustment for anyone. Things never went this far with any of Marcus’s girlfriends, but then again, the circumstances were entirely different, too. There was never a powder keg of aggression waiting to be lit aflame when Marcus had been involved in a public relationship with a high-ranking woman.

Fuck.

There were times during my childhood and early adulthood when I thought it would have been much easier to be Marcus. He had all the things I wanted—praise from my father, the title of crown prince, and an easy confidence about him, always seeming to know what he was supposed to be doing and what was expected from him at any given time. It never seemed that he and my father were at odds. I never saw him let his anger get the better of him.

Except when the two of us went at it.

What have I done?

I should go after Jessica right now.

As I start to follow after her, I catch my father’s eyes watching me. His expression is neutral, and he doesn’t break off from the conversation he’s having, but I know he’s waiting to see what I’ll do.

He’s waiting to see where my true loyalties lie.

He might like Jessica—he’s said as much to me—but his main concern is keeping Saintland thriving for several more generations.