Dim Sum Asylum(66)

“Gods, yes, but it’s probably not a good idea.” Trent paced closer, then stopped as if he needed distance between us. “I think I came here because… shit, I don’t know. I went home, stared at the damned walls, and wondered how the Hell you keep going. My life went to shit one day, and now I’m drifting around, looking for someplace to be… someone to be.”

“I’d like to tell you one day doesn’t make or break who you are, but I know that’s bullshit.” I had my own bruises, my own wounds dug down into the meat of my being, and they’d never heal. It took me a long time to reconcile myself with that. Parts of me would always bleed, raw and weeping gouges, but the pain of it all did lessen. “It’ll feel better someday. I can promise you that much.”

“When, though? I lost everyone I knew that day. A lot of them died, and the others… we were all given new lives, new names. I’m probably never going to see anyone from my unit ever again, and that pisses me off, Roku,” he growled. “Pisses me off in ways you can’t even imagine, because as fucked-up as we were… are… they were still all I had in my life.”

He raked his hands over his short hair, the golden strands going bronze under the loft’s bare Edison bulbs. Trent reached out, grabbed my waistband, then jerked me closer, until our hips touched. I didn’t fight the pull, but I should have. The pain on his face twisted my soul, barbing the sorrow I already had living there.

“I was with you—what? For one damned day?—but when you went over that building’s edge, I felt like my spine was being ripped out through my chest. I don’t have anyone but you, Roku, and you were going to die right in front of me before I got to taste that damned smart-assed mouth of yours.”

It was hard to focus on Trent’s face when he was inches away, but I gave it my best shot. Sadly, my eyes seemed to find my new partner’s lips, and my crotch murmured its approval. Shifting back onto my heels, I said, “Yeah, well, I kind of scared the shit out of me too. Thanks for pulling me back up.”

“You don’t get it, do you?” He cocked his head, the scruff of dark blond hair on his jaw nearly as long as the fade along the back of his skull. “I worked so fucking hard to get here… to be your partner. I spent every waking moment I had studying your case… studying you—”

“You’re drifting into stalker territory again there, Leonard.” I needed to use his last name. Needed some sort of distance between us, but he wasn’t going to let it go.

“Yeah, in the beginning, it was about transferring to Arcane Crimes, but then… I saw you, going into IA after they’d taken your badge, and….” He exhaled hard, blowing out his cheeks. “Gaines was bringing me in for my second interview, and all I could think was… shit, I wanted you. Sure, I knew who you were, but I hadn’t planned on… you making my skin crawl up tight and my balls ache. A guy doesn’t plan for that kind of reaction, and now here I am wanting you, but you—”

“I think it’s a bad idea,” I finished for him. “This… you… me… it’s not going to go well. You know that, right? We’re partners. Our first case pretty much blew up in our faces and—”

“I’m always going to be a step behind you. I know that. You’ve got rank, and well, you’re all cop. You went in today like there wasn’t any damned choice.”

“There wasn’t. It’s the job, Leonard—”

“Trent. For fuck’s sake, call me Trent.” He leaned in, putting his hands on either side of my hips. “I’ve got to get you out from under my skin, Roku. I don’t know if that thing made things worse or what, but there’s something about you I need. I want to get it out of my system, and you can’t tell me you weren’t as jacked up on me as I was on you outside of Kingfisher’s. I felt you get hard when I touched you. And it couldn’t have all been that fucking statue.”

There were times to be honest and times to lie. When my youngest daughter asked me if there was a Santa, I’d lied and said yes because little girls needed to know there was a mythical happy man who only wanted to bring her joy, especially after the shit life she’d started off with. I’d been honest with Gaines when I told him I didn’t care if Arnett called me names. I’d have shot him more than once that day if only I hadn’t been afraid of hitting the damned federally protected flying lizards.

Trent Leonard needed honesty from me, and no matter what happened after tonight slipped away, we’d just have to deal with it because he was right. I was so damned hard it hurt.

“No, it was just the statue. Spell’s effects just wore off. Like five minutes ago. Don’t feel a damned thing.”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“Totally joking.” I ran my fingers over his mouth, catching the swirls of my prints on the chap of his lips. “But I’m not… I’m not going to be good for you, Trent. You’ve got to know that. If you know anything about me, you should know that.”

“I’ll take what I can get, Roku. For now.” He pushed up against me, angling his body into mine. I jerked my chin up, unsure of what he wanted at first, but the thick press of his cock through his jeans gave me a good idea. After taking the bottle from me, he took a quick sip, placed it on the counter, then trapped me against the cold quartz stone top. “God, you are so fucking damned beautiful. I—”