Destiny on Ice (Boys of Winter #1)(60)

“Um…”

“You are, aren’t you?”

Yes!

Lainey can’t hear my internal thoughts, but she may as well have. “Does he love you back?”

“I think so.”

“What? You haven’t told each other yet?”

I reply with what I believe is true. “Words aren’t everything. I’m sure we’ll get around to saying it to each other, but for now I’m good. I feel his love for me every day we spend together.”

“Ah, that’s sweet.” She sighs into the phone. “Now we need to find someone for me. Maybe I’ll get lucky like you and find my Prince Charming. But it’ll have to be after I graduate in May.”

“Why? Are there no good prospects up there at school?”

“Not really,” she says. “I date a lot, but there’s no one special emerging from the pack. I can’t wait to graduate, Aubs. I’m ready for real men in the real world.”

“Ha!” I laugh. “The real world isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, trust me.”

It’s true. The real world sucks sometimes, especially when it prevents you from sharing with your sister the complete details of the man you’re head-over-heels in love with.





When Yoda Speaks, Listen You Must





Benny misses one game, and then another. The latter is played the night before Thanksgiving in Toronto, Nolan’s hometown.

The crowd is out of control up there. There’s blue and white everywhere. Our sad little team colors of black and red are barely represented. But I do spot Aubrey in the players’ wives and girlfriends section, wearing my jersey.

She’s seated next to Benny, who opted not to watch the game from a luxury box. He said he’d rather hang with Aubrey. Of course that means he’ll probably quiz her on every aspect of the game.

Poor girl.

I chuckle, but then I feel bad. I hate that Aubrey has to sit up there under the guise of being my life coach, the same reason she gives to others for why she’s wearing my number. I’m still her client, yes, but we’re so much more than that. And I want nothing more than to shout to the world that I’m in love with this girl.

That raises the question of why I haven’t said it to her yet.

Honestly, I’m afraid if I put it all out there on the line, I’ll somehow jinx things. Hey, what can I say? Hockey players are very superstitious, and I’m no exception. Plus, there’s the fact that Aubrey and I have been balancing on a damn tightrope lately. This keeping our romantic relationship a secret is really starting to mess me up.

My f*cked-up state is evident when I screw up two plays, both resulting in goals for the other team. One f*ckup is an errant pass I send directly to an opposing player’s stick. He scores and I slam my stick on the ice. The officials overlook my tantrum, but when I hurl the stick across the ice, I’m slapped with a ten-minute misconduct penalty.

While I’m in the box, the Leafs score again.

We lose 2-0.

“We can’t generate one f*cking goal?” I yell at the guys in the locker room after the game.

I’m mad at myself, but I need to take it out somewhere.

Most of my teammates look away or pretend to be busy with taking off their equipment. Not Nolan, though. He looks directly at me and says, “It’s one game, Brent. Calm the f*ck down.”

“One game,” I scoff. “One game, like when we lost in the first round of the playoffs last season? We were up three games to one, as I remember. But that one game was the beginning of the end. They stole the last three out from under our noses, and we f*cking let them.”

“This isn’t the playoffs, dude,” Breeze interjects. “No worry so much.”

Nolan agrees, “Yeah, you tell him, Breeze.”

“You know what?” I snap. “You’re both *s.”

Everyone is quiet and on edge because of my behavior. I’ve been a good leader to the team this season, but not today. I sit down on the bench in front of my locker and place my head in my hands.

Nolan comes over and sits next to me. “What’s up, my friend?” he asks. “This isn’t like you, not here in the locker room, and not with the way you played tonight.”

I raise my head, blow out a breath. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. But I know I’m feeling messed up in the head again.”

“Isn’t that what Aubrey’s supposed to prevent?” he quietly asks, so no one will hear.

I chuckle. “You’d think so, eh? But it’s mostly what’s going on with her that has me not thinking straight.”

“I thought you guys were good? I thought you had this thing under control?”

Nolan may not fully approve of our relationship—and this is probably why—but he’s not one to bail when I need him. Nor does he rub shit in your face, even when Yoda has been right all along.

“We’re great,” I say. “Everything with us is fine. The problem is the f*cking secrecy. I’ve had it with hiding who we are to each other.”

I glance around to make sure no one’s listening in.

See how f*cked up this shit is?

When I’m sure we’re good, I add, “I just want to take my girlfriend out in public, you know? Maybe take her to a nice dinner or a goddamn movie. Is that asking for too much?”