Desperation Road(72)

“Kill it,” Russell said. Boyd turned off the lights and the ignition. Russell got out of the car and sat on the hood and Boyd sat down next to him. He folded his arms and waited. Russell finished his cigarette and he stepped to the water and tossed it into the lake. He didn’t want to go back. He could still smell it. He could hear the shouts and threats and promises that would come his way when he returned. There were so many fights left to fight but he knew that he could take it better than she could.

He turned and faced Boyd.

“Got to trust each other. Told us that every day for four years, didn’t he?” Russell said. “I bet Coach Noland’s still saying it to whoever will listen. Got to trust each other.”

“Got sick of hearing it,” Boyd said.

“Everybody can tackle. Everybody can run fast. Everybody lifts weights. Everybody works hard. That ain’t it. Got to trust each other. Got to do your job. Do your shit. Let the other ten guys believe you’re there doing it. Believe they’re doing their job while you’re doing yours. That’s the difference.”

“Seemed like it worked. Won a helluva lot more than we lost. And we weren’t the biggest and strongest most times.”

“Nope.”

“But we gave a damn. Probably more than most.”

“Probably.”

“But I’m guessing we ain’t out here to tell war stories.”

“No,” Russell said. “We ain’t.”

“Then what are we out here for?”

Russell sat down again on the hood. Crossed his legs. Pointed out toward the water. “Right out there,” he said. “Your boy’s pistol is right out there.”

“What you mean my boy’s pistol?”

“You know what I mean, Boyd.”

Boyd wiped at his mouth. Rubbed his eyes. “Shit, Russell,” he said.

“Yeah. Shit.”

The water lapped lazily against the bank. Boyd slapped away a mosquito. An owl hooted and something screeched.

“And now it’s your turn,” Russell finally said.

“How so?”

“It’s your turn. To trust me.”

“Don’t start with that.”

“I’m not starting anything. I want you to listen. I mean it. Listen. You got to trust that I’m telling you the truth.”

“I’m gonna try.”

“Not try,” Russell said.

“I ain’t giving you some bullshit oath, Russell. I can’t do that. You know it and I know it.”

“Fine. Just do your best and let me finish. And don’t listen like a lawman.”

“Then what you want me to listen like?”

“Listen like you’re you and I’m me and that’s it.”

“You got a shitload of rules for somebody who just pointed out where the one damn thing is that everybody in this county is looking for.”

“You know I didn’t kill him. Damn well better know.”

“Then who did?”

“Nobody who shouldn’t have.”

Russell stood again. Walked out in front of Boyd. Looked at him in the dark, at the wide silhouette of what he hoped was still a friend.

And then he started talking.

He told Boyd that the woman in the hospital was Maben but I’m guessing you got that figured out. Yeah the same Maben. And then he told him how he came across her. How Maben had held the pistol on him as he came out of the Armadillo and told him to drive. How she hurried the child into the truck and how shaky she was with the pistol in her hand. So shaky that I reached right over and took it away. How they had driven through the night and that was where I was on the night you kept on asking me about. Then he told him how the deputy had taken Maben from the truck stop and driven her out away from everything and what he had made her do. How when she thought it was finally over he told her it wasn’t over. Company was coming and keep your damn mouth shut. And how she panicked about Annalee left behind in the motel room and how she wasn’t going to let it end this way for them and the next thing she knew she had the pistol pointed at him and then he was down and dead and she was running.

And then he told Boyd that she was convinced nobody would believe her and that’s why she was running and I told her she was right. Nobody would believe her. Except that he believed her and he didn’t know why or maybe he did know why but he felt like he was supposed to help her. I brought us here. All of us. Maben to running with that pistol and me and you sitting here right now. My road is the road that brought us all here led by what hand I don’t know. But here we are and I can’t let this go. It’s just her and the child and it’ll get worse and worse and some of us can take it but some of us can’t and some aren’t supposed to have to. She’s a small child. But got a long look. Like Maben. They’ve been up and down the road, Boyd. God knows where and back again. If you heard her tell it you couldn’t help but believe her either. And so I took them out to my daddy’s place and let them get some food and some rest and Sunday night we rode out here right to this spot and I took the pistol and threw it right out there. Far as I could. And I hoped that was that. But apparently it ain’t. I was putting her on a bus tonight and we were going over to my house to get her some money and that crazy motherfucker might have killed her. She’s had it, Boyd. She’s had it. And I’m telling you all this so you’ll understand right now when I ask you to leave her alone. I ain’t telling you. I’m asking you. Leave her alone. He got what he got. Let it fall.