Delinquent Daddy (Banks / Kincaid Family #2)(46)

Then she lifted her face and that was it. All the anger he'd felt over the past week evaporated. In its place, a strange ache wrapped around his chest and pulled taut.

Light from the kitchen window reflected on the wet gleam on her cheeks. He didn't like seeing her cry. It made him feel helpless and clumsy. He just wanted to go to her and pull her into his arms and tell her— Instead, he shoved his hands into his pockets. "There. Now we're both the bad guy," he said and moved to sit on the bench seat opposite hers.

Ellie unobtrusively tried to swipe at her cheeks. "What?"

Boston tilted his head back so he could stare up at the sky and not her. "She begged to come live with me, but I said no.

I told her she couldn't even leave her room until she apologized to you."

"You what?"

She sounded so surprised, Boston straightened and gave her a helpless shrug. "It sounded like something a dad would say."

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Delinquent Daddy

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He wondered if it'd been the wrong thing, though. He wondered what he should've said. The temptation to ask Ellie what he should've done almost suffocated him. He was so uncertain, even his own skin felt uncomfortable.

But then he noticed a slight smile on her face. "That's exactly what I told her too," she finally murmured.

His heart thumped against his ribcage in a crazy little beat.

He wanted to reach across the table and take her hand.

Unable to keep the anxiety at bay, he asked, "Do you think she'll ever talk to me again?"

Once again Ellie sent him an amused smile, making his pulse even more erratic. "Cassie might be quick to throw a fit, but she's just as quick to get over it. She'll probably be calling you tomorrow and begging you to take her back to Chuck E.

Cheese's."

"And would you let me?" he asked softly.

She didn't answer immediately. Boston held his breath, hoping he hadn't just started another fight. He didn't want to fight tonight. Not when he felt such a kinship with her.

But Ellie didn't grow upset. She lowered her eyes to her tightly clasped hands in her lap and answered, "You know, you could've taken her away for good tonight. I was so upset, I probably would've let her go with you if that was what you'd both wanted."

He swallowed. "I was tempted to tell her yes."

Ellie looked like she was going to start up crying again.

Boston was grateful she managed to keep the tears at bay. It was hard enough as it was to sit across from her and not 174

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move toward her. Her face was already blotchy from bawling, and he was once again filled with the urge to hold her.

"I love my daughter," she said in a hoarse voice, "But tonight, I couldn't have fought her...not you and her both."

Boston swallowed, not sure how to respond.

"I thank you," Ellie whispered. "For whatever reason you decided to convince her to stay with me, I thank you. From the bottom of my heart."

He lifted his gaze. "A little girl needs her mother," he said.

"And you...you're a good mother, El. I only have to look at her to know that. She's the most amazing child I've ever met.

She's perfect. You've done an excellent job raising her."

Ellie's face contorted even more, but she still didn't cry.

"Thank you."

"No matter how much I want to be with her," he added with great reluctance. "You were right when you said she doesn't need me. She'd be fine without me." Then he shook his head. "She wouldn't be fine without you."

When she didn't respond, Boston worried he'd revealed too much. But he also realized he couldn't have Cassie without Ellie's help and support.

"You've really changed since college, haven't you?" she murmured.

He gave a soft, surprised laugh. "God, I hope so."

Ellie pulled her feet up on the seat so she could hug her knees. "You know I can't live with losing her every weekend, don't you?"

Boston sobered and let out a long sigh. So, they were back to square one, were they?

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"What about every other weekend?"

Cradling her head in her hands, she closed her eyes.

"I...I'm sorry, Boston. I know you're trying to work with me, but I...I can't. I just can't do it. It's like we're talking about taking my oxygen away."

Boston closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Will you be honest with me if I ask you a question?"

After a moment, she gave a hesitant nod.

"Do you..." The asking was tough for him, and he had to pause before he continued. "Do you think she'd be better off if I did leave and never came back? I mean, I'm not going to mess her up by suddenly becoming involved in her life, am I?"

For a moment, Ellie was too stunned to speak. This wasn't the Boston Kincaid she knew at all. The college boy she'd dated would never have given her such an advantage, never exposed his vulnerable side. He didn't question himself.

The man really had changed.

Determined not to let that affect her, she asked, "Would you leave if I said yes?"