Defiance (The Protectors #9)(95)

“Is there any chance you can check out his old neighborhood…maybe stop by his friends’ homes and see if they’ve heard from him?”

“Yeah,” I said absently, though from everything I’d learned from Caleb, there hadn’t been many friends left in his life. And if Caleb had left his phone and car behind and he’d avoided taking a plane, it was because he knew how easy it would have been to track him down using those things.

Fuck, why the hell hadn’t I sucked it up and kept in touch with him?

“Jace,” Memphis said quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Caleb…he hasn’t been doing well. So if you find him, don’t let him out of your sight, okay?”

I could barely get my next words out. “Yeah, okay.”

I said my goodbyes to Memphis and tossed the phone onto the bed. It was two in the morning so I couldn’t even start searching his old neighborhood for a few hours yet. But as I studied my bed, I knew there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d be able to sleep now.

No, Caleb needed me.

I might not be able to check in with his friends for a little while yet, but I sure as hell couldn’t just sit here doing nothing. There were a couple places I could go. They were longshots, but I literally had nothing to lose.

So I grabbed my phone and my keys and told Caleb exactly what I’d told him when he’d called me just before Christmas and begged to see me.

“Hang on Caleb, I’m coming.”



It couldn’t be.

That was the thought that kept running through my mind as I stared at the motel room door that had been propped open by flipping the security latch into the locked position before closing the door.

Driving to the motel in the Appalachian Mountains had been so much more than a longshot, but I’d been desperate. I’d spent the entire day scouring all the places I thought Caleb might go if he’d indeed made his way back to D.C., but to no avail. The motel had literally been my last shot.

There were absolutely no cars in the parking lot, but when I’d slipped the manager some cash, he’d confirmed that a young man with blond hair had checked into the very room Caleb and I had used nearly two years earlier while we’d been waiting for Mav and Eli to arrive.

The same room where I’d held him for the first time in my arms so he could finally find some peace in sleep.

I should have been relieved to know I’d finally found him, but I was terrified about what I might find in that room when I opened the door. Two years ago, Caleb had barely been hanging onto his sanity. From what Memphis had told me, things hadn’t seemed to have gotten any better for him, despite having found some stability with Mav and Eli. At nineteen years old, Caleb should have had the world at his feet. Instead, it seemed to be crumbling around him.

I pushed open the door. The room was dark, but I could make out a slim figure lying on one of the two queen beds in the room. There was enough light seeping in from the open door to see the shock of blond hair and I knew I’d found him. I flipped the lock so I could close the door and then made my way to the bed.

“Caleb?” I said softly.

He shifted slightly in the bed, but didn’t respond or acknowledge me in any way. He was lying on top of the bedspread, his jacket and shoes still on. There was a black backpack sitting next to the bed, but no other luggage.

I went to turn on the light, but as soon as I did, he whispered, “Please, don’t.”

I quickly turned the light back off and sat next to him on the bed. I couldn’t stop myself from running my fingers through his hair. “Are you hurt?” I asked. I had no clue how the hell he’d gotten all the way to West Virginia on his own, but I had a few thoughts and none of them were good.

Caleb shook his head.

I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Memphis, telling him only that I’d found Caleb and he was okay. I included a note telling him I’d call him as soon as I could, but since I knew that likely wouldn’t satisfy him, I turned the phone off and then tucked it into my pocket. As hard as all this probably was on Eli and Mav, I needed to focus on Caleb right now.

There was a reason he’d picked this motel…that he’d come all the way out here, to me, even though it had been more than a year since I’d last seen him. So I carefully shrugged off my coat and tossed it on the other bed. It wasn’t a surprise that Caleb had picked the far side of the bed. I eased myself onto the bed and settled myself against his back. The second I wrapped my arm around him, a choked sob escaped his throat.

“Shhh, I’m here now,” I murmured as I brushed my lips over the nape of his neck. He’d grown a little taller since I’d last seen him, but he hadn’t filled out at all, proof that his health hadn’t improved. His skin felt cold and tremors kept wracking his body every few seconds.

There were so many things I needed to talk to him about, but I knew that wasn’t why he’d come. I knew that wasn’t why he’d searched out this motel, this room and deliberately left it unlocked for me. The thing he needed now was the same thing he’d needed that first night when I’d given in to the need I’d heard in his voice.

Giving him now what I’d given him them was just the start of what I needed to do for the young man who’d trusted me with his very life. I’d failed him once because I’d been a coward. Because I hadn’t liked what holding him that night and all the others had made me feel.