Defiance (The Protectors #9)(88)
I turned to see Dom hurriedly walking towards me.
“I’ve got to go,” I said as I discreetly wiped at my eyes some more to get rid of the lingering tears. “My cab will be here any second.”
“I know. I sent it away.”
“What? Why?”
“Because if my old friend insists on running away, the least I can do is give him a goddamn ride,” he said impatiently.
He opened the door for me.
I eyed him warily as I left the house. My chest felt tight as I climbed into the SUV. It wasn’t until we were well on our way that Dom said, “So you’re really going to leave it like this?”
“Let it go, Dom,” I bit out.
“Just explain to me why you’re doing this,” he said.
I was already so raw that I didn’t even think about my words before I snapped, “Because it’s the only way to keep him safe!” I looked at him and said, “You want to know the truth, Dom? It hurts so fucking bad to know that one choice fifteen years ago brought me to this point!”
“What choice?”
“Your choice!” I snapped. “If I’d had the sense to pick your offer over the one I got, my brother would still be alive and I wouldn’t have to fucking live in Fort Knox and I’d have that amazing man” – I pointed in the direction of Dom’s house – “waiting for me when I got home every night!” I knew I wasn’t making sense, but I didn’t care. “But no, I had something to prove! I had to show those assholes how they fucked up when they sent me and David packing! All that fucking pride, and what did it get me? Nothing. Fucking nothing!”
I shook my head as I cast my eyes out the window. “It’s too damn late. I had my chance.”
Awkward silence flooded the SUV. God, I just needed to get the fuck out of here. The sooner I got back to normal, the better.
“If you had another one, would you take it?” Dom asked.
“Another what?” I bit out tiredly.
“Chance. Another chance.”
“What difference does it make?” I murmured.
“My friend, you have a lot to learn about us Barrettis,” he said with amusement. “We wrote the book on second chances. The question is” – he waited until my eyes met his – “how bad do you want it?”
Chapter 31
Nathan
“Ladies and gentlemen, please have a seat. Mr. Wilder will make a statement and then he’ll take a few questions.”
Preston patted me gently on the shoulder as he leaned down to speak into my ear so the microphone in front of me wouldn’t pick up the sound. “It’s been an honor, Nathan.”
I put my hand on his and sent him a nod, hoping he got my silent message. He returned the smile and then went to stand off to the side of the small raised platform. Flashes from several cameras continued to go off as the reporters took my picture, and I waited until they died down before speaking. I rested my hands on the podium in front of me, but didn’t bother looking at the notes I’d prepared. Preston had helped me with the cookie-cutter speech explaining my withdrawal from the race, but I had no interest in the written statement anymore. I was tired of playing it safe.
“Thank you all for coming,” I said. My voice felt dry and rusty, like I hadn’t used it enough in the past two weeks.
Which was probably true, since I hadn’t had much to say after Vincent had left me. Even the mere thought of the man threatened to derail me, so I forced myself to focus on the crowd of eager reporters.
“I’d like to start by confirming the rumors that have been circulating about me leaving the race for the U.S. Senate seat. As great of an honor as it would have been to represent you and the great state of South Carolina in our nation’s capital this January, I’ve decided I need to face some realities in my own life before I’m ready to be a voice for others.”
There were a few muffled murmurs, but the crowd quickly fell silent again.
“First and foremost, I am looking forward to rebuilding a relationship I never should have forsaken to begin with. I’ve been fortunate enough to spend the last couple of weeks with my brother, Brody, but all it’s done is prove to me that I should have put him first, and I haven’t always done that. I have a chance to remedy that, and I’m going to take it. Secondly, the recent attack on me and my family has been a stark reminder of how quickly life can change, how it can be snatched from you in the blink of an eye. I’m not going to ever take that for granted again.”
I took in a deep breath to steady myself. “But I think what I’ve learned these past few weeks that’s been the real eye-opener is that there are so many ways I can speak for myself and others, and it isn’t necessarily limited to holding public office. It was a path I was set on from an early age, but one that, in my heart, I never really wanted. It took someone very special to make me realize that it was just one of many lies I’d been telling myself for a long time. Which leads me to my last point…a topic that I wish I didn’t have to address, but I know will not be put to rest unless I do it myself.”
I steeled myself for what was to come as I said, “For whatever reason, my sexuality has been brought into question on multiple occasions by my opponent, as well as by many of you here in this room. I wish it was something that held no weight when it comes to my ability to do this job, but the reality is that it has weight because you’ve given it that. You’ve made who I love a factor in my ability to speak for the people I wanted to represent. You’ve decided that who I go home to each night is more important than my desire to see that all Americans are equally protected under the law. You spend time pondering what label to attach to me rather than questioning my commitment to the people I was seeking to serve. So because I want the focus to be on my replacement’s qualifications rather than me after today, I’m going to share something that isn’t anyone’s business but mine. Yes, I am gay.”