Defiance (The Protectors #9)(18)

I shook my head. “Just forget it,” I muttered, and flipped onto my side so I wouldn’t have to look at him anymore.

I felt the bed shift and assumed it was him turning over again, but to my surprise, I felt his hand on my shoulder. Even through the fabric of my shirt, the contact burned and I tried to quell my fluttering stomach.

God, this could not be happening to me.

Not now.

Vincent pushed me onto my back and I held my breath in anticipation of what was coming. I had no idea why I wasn’t getting my ass out of the bed.

Except I did know.

I just wasn’t brave enough to admit it.

Even here, in the darkness of this room.

Vincent stared at me for the longest time and I had to wonder if his night vision was somehow better than mine, because I had no clue what he was thinking. He just hovered there, braced on one elbow.

Not touching me in any way at all.

Even though it felt like he was.

All over.

“We can’t turn the phone on, Nate,” he finally said. “Not even long enough to get the messages off.”

I nodded in understanding, even as disappointment and humiliation went through me. I began rolling back over, but Vincent put his big hand on my shoulder again, and this time he held it there. The weight of it felt so fucking…good.

“Most phone providers store their customer’s voicemails and texts on their servers, sometimes for up to six months. I can’t let you access the account the normal way, but I can probably get the messages for you without anyone knowing.”

I felt Vincent’s fingers press into me for the briefest of moments before he said, “Tomorrow, okay?”

I nodded. “Thank you,” I whispered. “I know it doesn’t make sense…”

I was shocked into stupefied silence when Vincent’s thumb came up to press against my lips to silence me. “Get some sleep, Nate.”

I could barely breathe as he caressed my mouth briefly. Then he was pulling away and turning back over. I couldn’t move as I tried to make sense of what had just happened.

“Good night, Vincent.”

He didn’t respond.

Not for several long seconds.

And when he did, it was simply to stun me with a few quiet words.

“Happy Birthday, Nathan.”





Chapter 6





Vincent





At the least, the heavy weight pressing down on my chest should have had me shoving the offending object away, since being trapped in any kind of way was a danger, but even as my brain teetered back and forth between sleep and awareness, I knew what – or who, rather – was pinning me to the bed. And I also knew why I was actually reluctant to do anything about my predicament, despite the inherent danger of it.

He’s not David, I reminded myself as the warm breath skittering across my nipple had shivers of excitement flickering just beneath the surface of my skin. As I forced my eyes to open and acknowledge the truth of the situation instead of the hopeful wish that I was once again lying in bed with David splayed across my chest, I fisted my left hand into the bedding so I wouldn’t be tempted to reach for Nathan, either to push him away…or pull him closer.

Because despite the familiar pain that came racing back every time I remembered David really was gone, I still liked that feeling of warm skin against mine. I liked the fingers that were pressing into my skin just beneath my armpit. I liked how the soft blond hair tickled my chin.

Once my vision cleared, I looked up at the mirror above the bed and felt my throat constrict at the sight that greeted me.

At some point Nathan had kicked the covers away and his sweats had slid up enough to reveal his calves, one of which he’d tossed over my right leg. The blanket had stayed put enough to keep our lower bodies from actually touching, but Nathan’s shirt had ridden up so that his muscled abdomen was pressed against mine and I could see the gentle slope of his lower back. His ass was just gorgeous, even in the loose sweatpants, and if my right arm hadn’t been pinned beneath his body, I probably would have been reaching for it before I could have stopped myself. I was gripping the blanket with my other hand to keep from doing exactly that.

Nathan’s head was tucked up just beneath my chin and his arm was thrown over my chest. His other hand…

Fuck, his other hand was beneath his body. And I didn’t need to see it to know what it was doing.

Because I could damn well feel it and I just couldn’t believe it.

His hand was linked with mine. It was a crazy position for him because it couldn’t have been a comfortable angle for his arm, but that clearly hadn’t stopped him.

But the part that still had me floored was that I’d completely missed the moment he’d turned into me. As light a sleeper as I was, I should have noticed the move. The only thing I could think was that my traitorous body had somehow mistaken Nathan for David. But I knew it was a stretch. David had been gone for more years than we’d been together. Just like the night before when I’d wanted it to be David in the shower with me, my brain had chosen reality instead of memory.

Nathan stirred against me, but didn’t wake up. I inwardly cursed when his lips briefly pressed against my skin as he adjusted his head.

I suspected Nathan was gay, but either in complete denial about it or so deep in the closet he’d need a compass to find his way out. I had a feeling it was the former because of the way he’d reacted to my touch the night before when he’d asked about getting to the messages on his phone.