Death and Relaxation (Ordinary Magic #1)(23)
He gave me a kicked-puppy look. “Why?”
“I have a thing I need to get to.”
“A thing?”
“An appointment. It’s work.”
The corners of his eyes tightened and his hand curled into a loose fist. “Of course it’s work. Always work.”
“What?”
“Still the number one thing in your life. I would have thought you’d give it a rest. After your dad…”
One look at my expression and he had the good sense to shut up.
“I think Hal has a room open.” I pushed past him to the bathroom. Hal was Hades, god of the underworld. He ran a sweet little bed and breakfast on the north side of town. All frills and doilies and old-lady knickknacks. “He might give you a homecoming discount, but don’t hold your breath.”
“Hal? I thought… Look. Sorry about the work comment. Really. Can I sleep on your couch? For one night? I’ll find a place to crash tomorrow if you want me to go.”
“I want you to go find a place to crash tonight.”
He followed me to the bathroom and leaned in the open doorway.
Cooper was a little on the thin side, his long, lean muscles well defined. The tattoo across his left ribs was a stylized ram charging into fire. Down his right were words to a poem I didn’t recognize.
No track marks on his arms. Yes, I looked. He had no impulse control, and high school had seen him through some pretty bad habits. He didn’t smell like old alcohol. When my gaze finally finished wandering up and met his eyes, it set off that slow electric tingle somewhere deep inside of me.
It wasn’t love. But I’d known Cooper for years. Dated him. Thought I loved him. Thought I was building a life with him.
The tingle was familiarity. Even though I was still angry at him for breaking up with me, I was surprised to find that I didn’t have it in me to hold on to the anger. What we’d had was gone. And now that he stood right there, half-naked in my bathroom doorway, wanting to patch things up, wanting to try to rebuild the card house he’d knocked down, I knew it wouldn’t happen.
I’d fallen out of love with him. My heart had broken, but it was well on its way to healing, without Cooper in it. It was…unexpected. I’d spent a year wanting to yell at him for what he’d done to us, for giving up, for leaving. And now I wanted him to get dressed and get a room. Was it normal to get over a year of heartache in an instant?
“Huh.”
He must have taken that surprised huff of air as some kind of invitation to grovel. “I know I left at the worst possible time,” he said.
“Not at all. Well, yes, you did. But you know. Things. They work out.”
“I was just mixed up. Looking for something”—he lifted his hand and waved absently—“more.”
“Looking to find yourself, away from this one-road sinkhole of a town, I believe you said.”
His mouth twisted down ruefully at that. “I was a jackass for saying that.”
I couldn’t help but smile a little. “Any luck? Finding?”
His eyes narrowed slightly. Probably trying to figure out why I was being so nice about all this. I smiled enigmatically. Just because I wasn’t angry anymore didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy watching him squirm.
“Yeah. No. Maybe.” He exhaled a hard breath. “I thought, I know I want big things. To make a mark. To be someone.”
“You are someone,” I said softly.
“Someone better.” His words were so quiet, I almost didn’t hear them.
“Start by being better than sleeping uninvited on your ex-girlfriend’s couch.”
“Ouch.” He nodded. “I needed to see you. To talk.”
“We can talk. Not tonight. I have work.”
This time he didn’t give me attitude for it. He pushed off the doorframe, all those lean muscles and ink sliding away from me.
This was right. I knew it was. My heart skipped for a doubtful moment, second-guessing my decision, but I knew Cooper and I were done.
“Give ’em hell, chief,” he said with the playboy grin that had started us dating in the first place. That twinge of electricity hummed over my skin again, a reminder of what we weren’t anymore. Maybe a clue to what we could be eventually: friends.
“Always do,” I said. “Pick up your backpack on the way out.”
“So I’ll see you? Around?”
Those brown eyes were soft with hope, with need. There were shadows in his face, in his eyes I hadn’t seen before. The time he’d been away hadn’t been easy on him.
He was asking me for a second chance.
I was good at that. At giving people second chances. In some ways, it was my job to do so. It was also in my nature.
“In this one-road sinkhole of a town? Count on it.”
He chuckled and I shut the bathroom door. I listened for the sound of him walking away. Finally heard the creak of footsteps.
I leaned on the sink and stared at myself in the mirror.
My eyes, which had a habit of shifting from gray-blue to cloudy green, were stark against my pale skin, my pupils dilated. I looked like I’d just seen a ghost.
“Ghost of an old relationship.” I pulled off my T-shirt and sat on the edge of the bathtub to untie my boots. “I’m over him.” It sounded weird on my lips, but it also sounded true. “When the hell did that happen?”