Dear Aaron(78)

The Friend Zone: The Life of Ruby Santos

I cleared my throat and glanced at his styled hair again, something about it niggling at me. I swallowed and dragged my eyes up to the ceiling for a second before flicking them back down to him, regretting even starting to say something. I blinked at him.

And he blinked right back at me, expectantly.

When I slid my gaze to the side for a moment and then returned it to him, he just sat there, like he was trying his best to look innocent and curious.

“I already told you when we were leaving the airport.”

He blinked innocently one more time but said nothing.

I groaned deep inside of myself. “You’re going to make me say it?”

He nodded, and I thought for sure he knew exactly what I was thinking.

My face flamed up for the hundredth time, and I was tempted to glance at the ceiling so I wouldn’t have to make contact with those eyes of his. I scratched at my neck and peeked at him again, feeling the words scrape against my throat. I needed to quit being a chicken. “I mean this in a totally platonic way, okay?” I warned him.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him dip his chin once more, and I wasn’t going to pay attention to the way his mouth was doing that fluctuating thing again. Amused, happy, mocking, and back all over again. Why? Why couldn’t he just be plain looking or be so good-looking and not be so direct with his stare?

Because that wasn’t my luck, and I knew it. I coughed. Then I did it. “You’re gorgeous,” I said to him almost painfully, prying the words out. “Like… the army should put you on their recruitment ads or put you as the face on their website. I feel like I can’t look you in the eye or I’ll turn into stone, and they’ll need to add my statue to a garden of other women who have made eye contact with you before and lost their lives.”

Aaron just stared at me for a moment, just a moment, and slowly that wavering smile turned into a full-fledged one, one with straight white teeth and warmth to it that couldn’t be faked, that could have had angels singing and playing harps in the background.

“You smile a lot more than I thought you would,” I kept going. “You said you never really smiled while you were over there.”

“I don’t usually smile so much,” was his cryptic answer.

I scratched at my neck again and watched him, nerves making a nest in my belly. Anxiety prickled at the center of my chest, and so, so hesitantly I said, “I was worried you were going to be disappointed meeting me.”

Those brown eyes seemed to twinkle a little, his eyebrows shaping, his mouth doing that turning thing like he was trying to stop smiling.

My hands were starting to get itchy.

But then he said the words that made a dozen more butterflies explode into existence. “I’m really damn happy to see you, Ruby.” His voice was quiet, not hesitant but more cautious. “I look at you and I can’t stop smiling. That’s all. You’re adorable.”

I couldn’t in a million years envision Jasmine or Tali turning red at someone calling them adorable, but I did. Scarlet, red, garnet. I was covered in invisible lava all of a sudden.

And then with my dignity swimming out of my grasp, I hacked out an, “It took me an hour to decide what to wear before I left the house. I almost brought my Ghost Rider costume with me, but I thought I’d be too hot.”

Aaron shook his head again, brown eyes trained on me, hands folded. “I like you just the way you are, stalker.”

Looking back on it, it’s weird thinking about the moments you don’t realize are important. The sentences, the touches, the actions that seem so innocent in that second, you take them for granted. The words that make water into wine in the course of your life. But I would never forget the way his words made me feel. The way he made me feel right then.

I had no idea.

“I’m really happy you came, you know that, right?” he asked.

I nodded again, too quickly, the emotions and words and gestures and Aaron in general too much, stealing the words right out of my mouth until I had to scarf them back down inside me. “I know. I’m happy I’m here too,” I said, pretty much whispering, definitely blushing. “Thank you for inviting me and paying for my ticket and coming to pick me up. As soon as I get steady work again—”

Something nudged at my foot, and I didn’t need to look down to know it was his foot. “I’m not hurting for money, Rubes. You don’t owe me anything. I wanted you to come, remember?” he reminded me in that warm voice of his just as the waitress brought over two plates of food and slid them across the table in front of each of us, only standing there a second longer than she needed to before moving away because she saw it. She saw us staring at each other.

Neither one of us talked much as we ate; we were both that hungry and tired. It didn’t take long to pretty much inhale everything, to the point where Aaron scraped every crumb off his plate, and the only thing left on mine was a single burned french fry. When the waiter brought the check, we both eyed each other as I pulled some cash out of my pocket and he pulled his wallet out. We silently each put down an appropriate amount of bills to cover our meals.

I kept my mouth shut when he pulled out more cash to leave a tip.

I tried to tell myself to quit being nervous and awkward, but the pep talk did nothing. We made our way back to his white truck and got in, with Aaron shooting me a closed-mouth smiled as he started it up and backed out of the spot.