Dear Aaron(66)

“It’s because I told you about the cosplay, isn’t it?”

There was a pause by the man I’d been e-mailing for over year. “No—”

“You’re a liar.”

Aaron’s laughter suddenly got lower in volume, and I knew he’d pulled the phone away from his face again, for sure. My best friend did the same thing when she was laughing as hard as she could.

“And the no-boyfriend thing,” I added.

Even with the phone not being close to his mouth, I could tell he’d started cracking up all over again. I shouldn’t have loved the sound as much as I did, but… guilty.

“I can’t believe you.”

“You sound like you work for those phone sex lines,” he finally managed to get out, sometime ten minutes later.

What? “No I don’t.” Had he not ever listened to his own voice before?

“Have you heard yourself? I was watching TV last night after I messaged you and the commercials for those chat lines came on. You sound just like those girls….” He trailed off for a moment, his voice changing. “Are you sick?”

I had no right to smile as wide as I was, but I did it anyway. “No, I’m not sick anymore. This is my normal voice, thanks.”

There was another pause over the line and then, “Are you really Ruby?”

“What do you think?” I snorted. “Do I need to ask about your butthole for you to believe me?”

Aaron choked. I didn’t need to see him to know he’d done it. He didn’t try to hide it or pull the phone away from his mouth. “Now I know it’s you for sure.”

I was a fool, and it didn’t matter. “Are you sure? Because I can,” I offered him before I could shut myself up.

“I’m sure.”

“If you change your mind…”

Aaron shot out another laugh. “No, I know it’s you. We’ve been on the phone… four minutes and you’ve got me laughing more than I have in weeks. It couldn’t be anybody else but you, Ru.”

I couldn’t count the number of times he’d said something to me like that in written word, but just like every other time he had, I felt like… I felt like I’d done something amazing. And I needed to get it together and control myself. I needed to act normal. Normal, Ruby.

“You could’ve warned me before I called,” he said quietly before I could get my normal game together, but somehow I could tell he was smiling as he said the sentence.

Plopping down on the edge of my bed, I pulled my knees up toward my chest, heels on the mattress side by side. I tried not to wonder what he was doing right then, what he looked like, what he was thinking… and I failed. Like usual. “What would you need a warning for?” I asked, almost hesitantly but definitely a little distracted.

There was another soft chuckle. “For that voice. Jesus, Ru. You told me you were worried I wasn’t going to like you, so I had this plan in my head for how I’d get you to talk to me in case things got awkward. And you start giving me shit thirty seconds in,” he argued. “You threw my game off.”

Act normal. Act normal. Don’t ask what his plan was. Don’t tell him you love his voice too. “You? I was nervous. I am nervous. My hands started sweating, then they started tingling, and then it took you half a year to answer the phone—”

He choked again. “I thought I had enough time to use the bathroom—”

“How long does it take you to use the bathroom?”

Aaron shouted out a laugh that pulled at the corners of my mouth.

“I ran up the stairs to call, and I was dying, then you start messing with me—”

“I told you I thought it was going to take a minute for you to warm up talking to me.”

“—and then I learn my friend Aaron, who is basically my best friend, thought I was going to sound like Malibu Barbie, and I forgot I was nervous.”

“You didn’t have anything to be nervous about. It’s just me.”

Just him. Why did he have to keep saying that to me? Like he wasn’t aware….

“I know everything I need to know now,” he stated evenly.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“We get along fine.”

“We’ve been on the phone—” I pulled it away from my face and watched the counter on the screen. “Five minutes.”

“I know and you made me laugh more in five minutes than I have with everybody else in the last year combined.” He had no idea how those words affected me. No idea at all, and I could never tell him. I squeezed my eyes closed without thinking about it. There was a pause on his end, and then totally seriously, he said, “Come with me.” He cleared that throat of his and added, “Us.”

“Where?” I regretted it. Like there was somewhere else he’d invited me to.

He let out this huffing noise that was pretty close to a groan and had me wondering what face belonged to that voice and personality. It wouldn’t be the first time that thought had crossed my mind. “Florida, Ruby,” he said a lot more patiently than anyone else would have.

It was my turn to groan as I rolled onto my back on the bed. Something on the mattress dug into my shoulder, but I ignored it. He really was inviting me out. For real.