Dauntless (Sons of Templar MC #5)(27)

And she was happy.

She was free.

For that split second, so was I. And then, for the second after, when Lucky’s hazel eyes met mine, I was something else. Not free, but not held captive by something twisted and ugly. I was clutched by the promise in those eyes, the potential. Held hostage by a beautiful dream.

Then it was gone.

Reality burst back in at such a speed my teeth chattered together and the itch came back full force.

The cocktail of the need for my fix coupled with my disgust in myself and happiness for Lily reached a bottleneck, and traitorous tears leaked from my eyes.

Tears!

I hadn’t cried since… since that night I curled up under dirty sheets, after my childish innocence had been stolen and I thought tears were something useful. That someone might hear my sobs and tear me away from the life that had become a nightmare.

No one did. That night I realized tears were useless, and I never cried again.

Until now.

And I was wearing winged eyeliner. It would f*ck up my whole look. Who was I kidding? I was already a total mess; smudged makeup wouldn’t do much to make me look worse. I already was worse.

I hastily wiped my eyes and glanced at Lily, who was getting swallowed by Lucky.

“I love you,” she mouthed.

I tried my best to chase away my demons and let the warmth of this moment swallow me up. “I love you too,” I mouthed back.

“No party,” Asher growled, his rough voice puncturing the soft moment.

I tried to hide my grin, a real one as Lucky looked like Asher had just ran over his puppy. I also tried to ignore how the ensuing bickering over the need for a party to celebrate Asher and Lily’s nuptials made me fall even deeper for Lucky. The way he was such a contradiction. The way he looked like he robbed convenience stores for fun, but then he treated my fragile best friend with a gentleness that she deserved. The way he treated me like I was something. Somebody.

I tried to shake myself out of it. What the f*ck was I thinking? Was I falling for him?

Jesus Christ.

This wedding thing was like a drug of its own, hypnotizing me in its thrall, making me think pink sparkly thoughts that were even more dangerous than the prickly black ones I’d been swimming in. At least I could swim in those. I reckoned I’d drown in the former.

I jerked myself out of my head just in time to see Lily convince her husband—so weird that that’s what the massive biker was now—that yes, they would indeed go to the party Lucky was whining about. I smiled on the inside. Lily was changing, growing. She was healing. Before, a party at a biker clubhouse would’ve had her running a mile, but now she was ready. She was stronger. I didn’t miss that it wasn’t me who made her that way, but Asher. It was a bittersweet feeling. I was beyond happy that she was slowly conquering her own demons, but I was upset that I wasn’t the one helping the only person who helped me. The only thing I’d done was given her a bottle and a substance to abuse. The only way I knew how to cope was destruction.

“I’ll take this one in the cage.” Lucky jerked his head to me and my whole body tightened. An enclosed space with him while battling cravings that rattled my entire body? No f*cking way. Especially when the threat of destruction meant the prospect of something, or someone, to stave off that destruction was almost as enticing as the needle itself.

“And you take your bike,” Lucky continued, his attention back on Asher.

Before I could do something to get out of the situation, like fake a heart attack, Lucky’s hand snatched mine and dragged me away from the blushing bride and her biker.

“You want that hand to remain attached to your body, you remove it from mine right now,” I hissed as he dragged me along. The anger was for my own good more than anything else. His strong, large, and dry hand clutching my small, clammy one had me feeling some type of way. The wrong type. The pink sparkly type.

Lucky looked straight ahead, directing us out of the double doors. “I’m willin’ to take the risk of dismemberment to hold your hand, Becky,” he replied, a smile tickling the corner of his mouth. “Plus, I heard they’re doing great things with prosthetics these days. Maybe I’ll get a hook hand. I reckon I could work that shit.”

A hook hand?

I struggled in vain as he led us out of the hallway and opened the door to the parking lot. I flinched back as the harsh sunlight assaulted me and caused black spots to dance in front of my vision.

Lucky stopped immediately, standing in front of me. His large body obstructed the rays of the devil ball, thankfully.

Spots still danced around my eyeballs, so I couldn’t gauge the look on his face.

“Shit, it all makes sense now,” he said.

I squinted at him. “What makes sense?”

He yanked me closer to his body, as if he were trying to shield me from the sun. “You’re a vampire. I’ve never seen you in daylight, and I knew no one human could possibly look like you and do the things you do with your body. How could I not know before? A creature of the night. Of course you sold your soul to the devil. That’s how you hypnotize me so,” he deadpanned.

I blinked at him a couple times. He was right on one score; I did sell my soul to the devil, or I’d tried. Even he wouldn’t take that mangled thing. “You’re insane,” I muttered.

He grinned at me. “Only two doctors have come to that conclusion. The rest just say I have an overactive imagination. Let’s get my little vamp to the car.” He made a big performance of lifting his leather cut in front of my face. “Don’t want that beautiful skin getting scorched.” He grinned at me when I scowled at him. “If you’re a really good girl, I’ll even let you suck my blood. I’m tasty, you know.” He winked.