Darker Days (The Darker Agency #1)(80)

“Why would he help us?”

I didn’t answer, and he understood.

His expression went from thoughtful to worried in a single beat of my heart. “He won’t. You’re going to do the same thing Joseph did. You’re going to make a deal with him.”

“I just have to be careful. Demons can’t lie. As long as I’m very specific with my request for help and the terms I agree to, there shouldn’t be an issue. Once he makes a promise to help, he’s bound to it.”

“Okay,” Lukas said, though he didn’t seem 100 percent convinced. “But you said only demons could go to the Shadow Realm. That’s where he is, right? How will you speak with him?”

“When I was a kid, Dad used to tell me stories about the Shadow Realm. He said to get there, you had to embrace your inner darkness.”

“Darkness?”

The quirk of his eyebrow and the sudden paling of his skin told me he wasn’t understanding. “Not darkness as in evil—darkness as in the thing that shadow demons are born from. He said he could feel it, stirring inside him. It was like a song calling him home. He told me all he had to do was think of home—focus on that tiny pull inside him that was always there—and boom. Instant free transportation.”

First, though, I needed to be sure I wasn’t crazy.

Half-human offspring of demonic parents were supposed to be normal. We didn’t get inducted into the superpower club. For whatever reason, though, I seemed to have gotten a free pass. Regardless of Mom’s denial, I knew what had happened in the parking lot at Michaels. It was the same thing that had been happening for days now, even if I hadn’t realized the truth. I’d shadowed.

She’d asked why it was happening now, and it was a valid question. I’d been doing what I thought was sleepwalking for years, though never thinking twice about it. At night, there was no effort involved. I was cloaked in shadow. It was possible that it’d been my body’s subconscious way of telling me to pay more attention. I’d never shadowed while awake before the incident in the lot because, well, I’d never tried to.

Stepping into the darkness of the hall, I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and closed my eyes. The shadows on the wall were dark, inviting things that called to me. Cool blackness washed over my body, and a small tickle formed in my stomach. The same feeling I’d gotten in the parking lot before I ended up behind the guy trying to rob us. A pounding in my head and an itching in my limbs.

Then, just like that, I was at the top of the stairs.

“Jessie?” Lukas’ frantic screams rose from the first floor.

I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came. The reality of what I’d done—what I’d really done—hit home. It was like a trip to the dentist on Christmas day. Exciting and terrifying all at once. On one hand, this was the coolest thing to ever happen. I’d just done something amazing—something they all said I couldn’t do. No more normal for me! On the other hand, it was wrong. Other than the fact that hybrid kids didn’t inherit demon genetics, the feeling that came with shadowing left me itchy inside. Itchy and cold.

“I’m up here,” I finally managed. “Top of the stairs.”

He skidded to a stop at the bottom, eyes wide. “Did you just—”

I nodded. “I did it. Like, consciously did it. I shadowed.”

…

“I don’t like this.”

“Honestly? Neither do I.” Climbing onto the bed, I shook my head and took a deep breath. We’d spent the last twenty minutes arguing over what I was about to do. “I don’t know who else to go to. This is over my head.”

“Meredith’s not going to just release your parents, Jessie. You know that, right?”

“Hence the search for help.”

“This is foolish.”

“I’d gladly take an alternative plan, if you’ve got one.”

He glared. “You’ve never been to this place. This Shadow Realm? How do you know it’s not dangerous?”

“Only one way to find out.”

He didn’t let up. “Why can you do this now? You said you were normal.”

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it? “I’m supposed to be.”

“But you’re not?”

“I don’t know anymore.” I shook my head.

Even though a part of me had always wanted this—to be something more than normal—I couldn’t deny that it scared me a little. My stomach felt queasy, my ears rang, and every muscle ached. There was a feeling deep in my gut that told me this was a bad idea, and that once I crossed the line, there’d be no turning back.

Normally, Mom would be there to sit down with me and beat this thing to death by overanalyzing it, but not this time. This time, it was all me. And wasn’t that what I’d wanted? To prove myself?

Suddenly, I wasn’t so eager.

If Mom were here, she’d glare at me and say something like Be careful what you wish for. I was getting the word irony tattooed on my ass—right next to the words Live with free will or die.

“I understand why you’re against this, but does it even matter? We have to stop Meredith or those people are going to be dragged back to the box, and they’re going to take my parents with them. I have to do whatever I can. I won’t let that happen.”