Dark Heart of Magic (Black Blade #2)(75)

It was weird, but in that moment, I almost felt I could see into Deah. That was nothing new, but I wasn’t just feeling her emotions—I was actually seeing all the memories she had of growing up. Training so hard all the time so she could be the best fighter possible. Running after Seleste, trying to keep her from wandering off and displeasing Victor and Blake. Doing everything she possibly could to win her father’s love and approval and knowing that nothing she did was ever truly good enough for him. That Victor preferred Blake and always would.

One after another, the memories flooded my mind until it was all that I could do to keep swinging my sword. How did Deah live like that? Training so hard, worrying about her mom, being hurt by Victor’s cruel words time and time again? How did she function when she knew that her own father didn’t even love her? Neither did Blake, who saw her as just another tool he could use to do their father’s bidding.

In that moment, I felt sorrier for Deah Draconi than I ever had before.

I could win the match, but for the first time, I didn’t want to because I knew what it would cost her. I didn’t like Deah, but I didn’t want her or Seleste to suffer because of me. I’d never wanted that, but if the fight kept going the way it was, that was exactly what was going to happen. Deah and her mom would suffer miserably at Victor’s hands, and there would be nothing that I or anyone else could do about it, since it would happen behind closed doors at the Draconi estate. No one there would dare to interfere with Victor and Blake, and none of the other Families would care enough to get involved, except for Claudia. But even then, I didn’t know what Claudia could do to help them, since the Sinclairs and the Draconis were on the verge of going to war anyway.

I sighed, knowing what I had to do. It was the exact same thing my mom would have done. She’d always tried to protect people who needed help, and she’d never once complained about it. I wasn’t as good or noble as she had been, but I knew a hard truth. That sometimes, doing the right thing sucked out loud, and this was definitely going to be one of those times.

So I sighed again, lowered my sword just a fraction, and slowly lessened my pace, as though I was exhausted and finally fading. Deah pressed her advantage, and I made my blows weaker and weaker, letting her get a little closer to cutting me every single time. I could have recovered, I could have taken her out, but I decided not to.

Besides, maybe Seleste’s prophecy was right and Deah and I needed each other to survive. Either way, I wasn’t going to win this fight. Not now. I wasn’t going to be the cause of someone else’s misery—especially not someone who had as much hurt in her battered, broken heart as I did.

So I counted down the moves in my head, wondering if she would take the opening I was going to give her.

And she did.

I pretended to trip on the edge of the water and stumbled past Deah. An instant later, I felt her black blade slice into my arm, and the hot spatter of blood sliding down my skin.

Just like that, it was over.

I sighed, lowered my sword, and turned around. Deah stared at me, dumbstruck, as though she couldn’t believe that she’d actually, finally won.

The official hurried over, grabbed her hand, and raised it high. “And the winner of the Tournament of Blades is Deah Draconi!”

The crowd erupted into loud, roaring cheers, each one like a sword slicing my heart to ribbons. They should have been cheering for me. They should have been yelling and clapping for me. They should have been chanting my name over and over again, not hers.

I dropped my head, trying to ignore all the jubilation, as though I was exhausted and disgusted with myself. Not too much of a stretch right now.

Yeah, sometimes, doing the right thing was the most painful feeling in the entire world.





CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE


The members of the Draconi Family stampeded down the bleachers and stormed onto the field, shoving everyone aside, including me. Blake hoisted Deah up onto his shoulder. A Draconi guard stepped up on Deah’s other side, and he and Blake carried her around and around. All of the Draconis were clapping, cheering, and yelling—except for Deah.

She kept glancing back over her shoulder at me, her eyes dark and troubled. She knew I’d let her win, but she didn’t know why. Well, I wasn’t about to tell her.

But I’d made my choice, and the fight was over. There was no taking it back, so I trudged over to the fence at the edge of the grass. Devon and Felix were already waiting for me, their faces filled with sympathy that I didn’t want to see and especially didn’t want to feel right now.

“Um, good match, Lila,” Felix said, wincing, obviously torn between consoling me and being happy that Deah had won. “You’ll get her next year.”

“Yeah,” I muttered. “Next year.”

Devon frowned, suspicion flaring in his eyes. He realized that I’d thrown the fight, but he didn’t ask me about it. Maybe he knew I didn’t want to talk about it right now. That I never, ever wanted to talk about it. That I just wanted to go back to the mansion, hole up in my room, and not come out for the rest of the summer. Maybe by then all the talk about the stupid tournament would finally be over. Yeah, right. It would never be over. Blake and the rest of the Draconis would gleefully rub my defeat in my face for as long as I stayed in Cloudburst Falls.

The Sinclair guards climbed down from the bleachers and headed over to us. I plastered a smile on my face and gritted my teeth through everyone’s congratulations and condolences. The guards quickly drifted away, and Claudia, Mo, Reginald, Angelo, and Oscar came down from the Family box and gathered around me. Reginald and Angelo wore sympathetic expressions, but Mo and especially Claudia seemed much more thoughtful. Oscar was absolutely crestfallen, barely twitching his wings enough to hover in the air beside me.