Dark Flame (The Immortals #4)(55)
“I’ll bet.” I lift my brow and shake my head. I’ve no intention of cutting her any slack or letting her dance around it with some overly complex explanation.
She nods, determined to take it in stride. True to her usual self, she’s unfazed by my outburst. “At first, I admit, I got a little caught up in all the possibilities of Summerland, of all the glorious gifts that it offered. You have to understand I’ve been out on my own for so long, supporting myself and working hard for everything that I have with no help from anyone, and more often than not, just barely scraping by—”
“Are you seriously expecting me to feel sorry for you? Because if so—save it. Seriously. It won’t work.” I shake my head and roll my eyes.
“Just trying to give you a little background.” She shrugs, clasping her hands before her and flexing her fingers. “It’s not a bid for sympathy, believe me. If nothing else, I think I’ve learned an important lesson in taking responsibility for my own life. I’m just trying to explain my initial reaction to Summerland, how enthralled I was by the ability to just manifest any material thing I could want. And I know I went a little overboard, and I know how much it annoyed you. But, after a while, I realized I could build myself a mansion full of treasures in Summerland, but it wouldn’t make me any happier—either there or on the earth plane. And that’s when I decided to go a little deeper, try to improve myself in ways I’d never truly attempted before. Sure, I had my sacred space and my meditations, but once I set my sights on gaining access to the Great Halls of Learning, well, that’s when I was forced to walk all that talk I’d been spouting for years. And so—I gave up everything else and concentrated solely on that, and it wasn’t long before I was in, and I never looked back.”
I look at her, my eyes narrowed to slits, and all I can think is: Well, bravo for you, Ava, bravo for you.
“I know what you are, Ever. Damen too. And while I don’t necessarily agree with it, it’s not my place to interfere.”
“Is that why you tried to have him killed? Is that how you deal with things you don’t approve of? Sounds like interfering to me.” I glare at her, digging my toe into the carpet as deep as it’ll go.
She shakes her head, her voice calm, gaze fixed on mine. “I didn’t know any of this when I left Damen that day. Back then, I truly believed that everything would be reversed—just as you believed too. You’d go back in time, Damen would go back as well, and while I wasn’t sure of just what the elixir was, I had my suspicions, had every intention of drinking it too—but then, for some reason, just when I was about to—I stopped. I just couldn’t go through with it. I guess the enormity of it got to me—the enormity of living forever.” She looks at me. “That’s pretty serious stuff—don’t you think?”
I shrug. Shrug and roll my eyes. So far she hasn’t said a thing to change my mind about her, and I’m still not convinced she didn’t drink it, for that matter.
“So, in the end, I tossed it, made the portal to Summerland, and started searching for answers—for peace.”
“And did you find any?” I ask, the tone in my voice making it clear that I don’t really care either way.
“Yes.” She smiles. “My peace is in knowing that we’ve all got our own journey—our own destiny to fulfill. And now, I finally know mine.” I look at her, seeing the way her face lights up when she adds, “I’m here to use my gifts to help those who need it, to live without fear, to trust that I’ll always have enough to get by, and to finish raising the twins in a way I failed to manage before.” She gives me a look, a look like she wants to reach out and hug me, but luckily she settles for running her hand through her hair and staying right where she is. “I’m sorry about what happened, Ever. I never thought it would end up like this. And while I may not approve of what you and Damen are, it’s really not my place to judge. You’ve got your own journey to walk.”
“Yeah? And what’s that?” I ask, my eyes meeting hers, surprised by the amount of yearning in my voice, hoping she might have some sort of clue as to just what it is that I’m here for. Because so far, I have no idea.
But Ava just shrugs, her kind brown eyes sparkling on mine when she says, “Oh, no.” She smiles and shakes her head. “I’m afraid that’s for you to discover all on your own. But believe me, Ever, I’ve no doubt it’s going to be big.”
twenty-four
By the time I get home, it’s late. And even though Damen offers to help me carry my gifts up the stairs and into my room, even though part of me is tempted to let him do exactly that, I just give him a quick kiss on the cheek and head in on my own. Wanting only to dive into the welcoming cocoon of my bed, so I can have the final hour of my birthday to myself.
I pick my way up the stairs, carefully, quietly, not wanting to alert Sabine whose light is peeking out from under her door. Having just dropped the bundle of presents onto my desk, when she pads down the hall and comes in.
“Happy Birthday.” She smiles, wrapped in a robe so creamy and plush it looks like a cloud of whipped cream. Squinting at the clock on my nightstand when she says, “It is still your birthday, right?”
“Seventeen.” I nod. “And not a day older.” Watching as she makes her way in and perches on the edge of my bed, eyeballing the pile of gifts—a couple of metaphysical books from Ava that I pretty much “read” the moment I touched them, an amethyst geode from Jude, a T-shirt that says NEVER SUMMON ANYTHING YOU CAN’T BANISH from Rayne (ha-ha), and another one with a colorful spiral symbol from Romy that probably came from the same Wiccan store, along with an iTunes gift card from Honor who handed it to me as she mumbled, “Um, because you seem to really like music with the way you’re always, you know, all plugged in and all.” Oh, and vase after vase of brilliant red tulips that Damen must’ve manifested the moment he drove away.