Dark Fall (Back Down Devil MC #3)(48)

“No,” Kaity said. “I never…”

“This is your chance then. Prove it to the club, Kaity. I need you to fight someone for me, for us.”

“Fight?”

Erik felt the regret already. He just swore to himself ten minutes ago he would keep Kaity safe. But he didn’t know what that meant. This woman had been a rat. This woman worked undercover for a detective. She couldn’t just step into the clubhouse and belong here. That’s not how it worked.

“Fight,” Erik said. “There’s a chance we can find one of the men…”

“I’ll do it,” Kaity said. “Of course I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to prove it to you, Erik. To the MC. Whatever you need.”

“Get out of the shower,” Erik said. “So we can talk.”

Kaity turned off the water and grabbed a towel. She wrapped it around herself and went with Erik to the bedroom and sat on the bed. Erik stood in front of her, his arms crossed.

“I want to know what you want out of all this,” Erik said.

“Trust,” Kaity said without hesitation. “The way you look at me… the way you make me feel…”

“You’re going to be fighting for real,” Erik said.

“If that’s what I need to do, then I’ll do it.”

Erik was really turned on. He was so torn about trusting her. He wanted to. He wanted to protect her. But she hadn’t earned it yet.

“There’s a fight that some businessmen have put together,” Erik said. “We need a woman to go into it. If we get in there, there’s a chance we can make a revenge kill.”

“A kill?”

“Babe, this is our world. You want in, you'll learn to accept death."

Kaity nodded. “Of course. I don’t have anywhere to go, Erik. If I got in my car I would have to keep driving, and I will always have to look over my shoulder.”

Kaity’s lip quivered and she lowered her head.

“You’ll do this for us?”

“Yes.”

“This is serious, Kaity. I’m not going to f*ck with you, okay? You could get hurt. You could lose this fight. Do you even know how to fight?”

Kaity looked at Erik. “I can fight. I can take care of myself. If this is going to help you, I’ll do anything. If you can get revenge and stop hating yourself for your scars…”

Erik grabbed Kaity by her arms. He stood her up and stared at her. “Don’t talk about my f*cking scars.”

“I can’t help it,” Kaity said. “Your scars are beautiful.”

Beautiful? What the f*ck?

“I don’t want you to f*ck this up and get killed.”

“I won’t,” Kaity said. “I’ll fight. I’ll do what I have to do. Like I always do, Erik. I don’t need you as much as I want you. And I want you to look in the mirror and see what I see when I look at you.”

“My face will always be the same,” Erik said. “Revenge or not. I’ll always have my scars. I’ll always have the memories.”

“Then share it all with me,” Kaity said. “Because I have scars too. I know my scars are on the inside, but my nightmares follow me every night. And if you need to see me fight another woman to help you do all this, then yes, I will do it. I’ll fight the world for you, Erik. If it matters to you, it matters to me.”

Erik shook his head. He put a hand to Kaity’s face and traced her cheek.

Fuck, she was so beautiful.

"I want you to fight as much as I don’t," Erik said.

“I’m doing this,” Kaity said. “If that’s what you talked about at your meeting. If that’s what your President wants, what your MC needs, then I’m going to do it. I don’t want to hide, Erik. I don’t want to be the woman who was once a rat. That’s not who I am. I made bad choices in my life. I tried to help people on the cases I worked. Even if Brad f*cked them all over. So let this be my punishment to myself. My proof to you. Maybe even my proof to myself.”

“Christ, you’re f*cking amazing,” Erik said. He shut his eyes and wished he could take that back.

“Erik, you’re f*cking amazing, too,” Kaity said. “You’ll see it someday. That’s what I want.”

Erik had nothing left to say. They stood staring at each other for what felt like hours. Erik battled his decision inside. He could easily make Kaity leave. Call her a cab. Buy her a car. Fly her somewhere. She didn’t need this life. But Erik needed her. Kaity kept him whole. Kaity gave him hope that life could be almost normal again. He knew he was falling for her.

“What do I do now?” Kaity whispered.

“Take that f*cking towel off first,” Erik said. “After that… we will deal with it later."





twenty-two.



Kaity only slept well because Erik was next to her, holding her, keeping her warm and safe. The strength of his hold kept the nightmares away. She hadn't slept that well since before she met Brad. She woke early and rolled over to watch Erik sleep. He was beautiful in his own messed up way, scars and all. Kaity bit her lip and traced her finger along some of his scars. Some were more visible than others. Some deeper. They would be there for the rest of his life. Nothing more and nothing less. Kaity thought about cutting her face in that moment. Not to kill herself, but to cut deep enough that she would have a scar to match Erik's.