Dark Fall (Back Down Devil MC #3)(2)

Erik put the gun to his chin and kept his eyes open wide. His hand shook at first, but then it slowly calmed. Everything calmed. That’s what made it so scary and easy now. It was calm. There were no regrets. There were no worries.

Pull. The. Fucking. Trigger.

With a deep breath in, Erik readied himself. He exhaled and finally pulled the trigger.

The gun clicked.

Erik didn’t breathe again, because he was dead… right?

Erik opened his eyes and dropped the gun to his bed. He took a step back and started to shake.

“I pulled the f*cking trigger,” he said. “I pulled the f*cking trigger.”

The gun lay on the bed, barrel pointed at himself. He took another step back, then another, and kept going until he crashed into a wall. He turned and threw a fist, cracking the wall. Erik looked at his bloody knuckles. He spun around and the gun was still on the bed. Erik ran to the mirror. His eyes were wide as he checked for a bullet hole under his chin.

There wasn't one.

There wasn’t supposed to be one.

This was a test run. A practice suicide. A way to discover if Erik had the balls to actually do it to himself.

“Fuck,” he said.

Maybe that was the only moment he would have done it.

There was a knock at Erik’s door and it flew open.

“Hey, brother.”

Erik saw Blaine in the reflection of the mirror.

“Blaine.”

“What’s wrong?” Blaine asked. “You look like shit, man.”

Erik turned and folded his arms. “I’m fine.”

“You sure? You got a woman hiding in here or something?”

“No.”

“Playing a little hide-n-seek? I got something I could hide...”

Erik shook his head. Blaine was such a dickhead *.

“What do you want, bro?” Erik asked.

“Time to ride,” Blaine said. “Miller wanted me to get you.”

“I’m in on it?”

“That’s right. Can you ride?”

“Fuck yeah,” Erik said.

His heart started to pound. He hadn’t been able to ride with the crew since before the accident. He wasn’t even sure if he was medically cleared, but he didn’t give a f*ck. Not being able to ride was like being held prisoner. He looked down at the bed. He’d rather be dead than not be able to ride with Back Down Devil.

“Are we going out to find who did all this shit?” Erik asked.

“Just go find Miller,” Blaine said. “Look, I’ve got about two minutes so I’m going to find something to f*ck real quick.”

“Something?” Erik asked.

Blaine laughed. “You know… if the hole is big enough…”

“Get out of here.”

Blaine knocked on the door, laughed, and shut it.

What a sick f*ck.

Erik hurried to find a shirt to wear. He grabbed his leather cut and put it on next. He looked at himself in the mirror and forced himself to stare at the leather cut. The scars on his face meant nothing against the power of the leather cut. It was proof that he belonged to the club. To his brothers. They were family; the only family Erik ever knew.

Erik grabbed the handgun and took out the empty clip. He shook his head at the idea of pulling the trigger on an empty gun like that. It made him feel like a f*cking *. When Erik put a full clip into the gun, he holstered it and left his room. He then went to the meeting room and found Miller and Gaige standing there, waiting.

“Come on in,” Gaige said.

Erik knew the protocol. They wanted to feel him out and make sure his head was in the right spot.

“Sit,” Miller said and pointed to Erik’s designated spot.

Miller looked at Gaige and gave a nod.

“How are you feeling, bro?”

“Like shit,” Erik said. “You see my face lately?”

“We want you to ride tonight,” Gaige said. “We want you there to find out the truth. But only if you want to be there. If you can handle it.”

“You think I can’t handle it?” Erik asked.

“He didn’t mean it like that,” Miller said. “Don’t get heated, Erik.”

“I’m not heated. I’ve been waiting to ride again. Now I can. Let’s get moving.”

“Hold up,” Miller said. “Think about what we’re up against here. Someone tried to take out Shay. They got you by accident, Erik. Then we hired Jonesy, and now look at him.”

“We have his finger,” Erik said. “I know.”

“This is bad,” Gaige said. “Real bad. This isn’t some bullshit crew around here. This is going to be some dangerous shit. This is…”

“A silent war,” Miller said. He stood from his chair. “Something we’re not used to. But Damnit, Erik, I don’t want you to be stuck here. I want you out there, working and riding with us. Where you belong.”

“But you have to keep it together,” Gaige said. “Revenge and retaliation is something that burns like fire. I’ve f*cked up myself, Erik. Because of me, the club is in bed with a businessman that’s being a pain in our ass. I regret it.”

“But he’s helping us now,” Miller said. “That’s who we are meeting. It’s a black SUV, quick exchange of information and nothing more. I want you there…”