Dare You To (Pushing the Limits, #2)(93)

My lungs tighten. God, I can’t breathe. Help me breathe.      “You’re my best friend.”

“And you’re mine. I want more from you and I’m begging you      to please give me more.”

My throat becomes raw and slowly swells. “But you’re my best      friend.”

His fingers gently move against my cheek. “You want to      leave, I’ll go. I’ll take you now. We’ll get in my car, find your mom, and we’ll      never look back. Your terms. Not mine. Whatever you want. Whatever you need.      Just say the words. Please say them.”

I love him.

Those words. My hand presses against his chest. His heart      continues in the same steady beat I’ve come to depend upon. Isaiah is my rock.      The string that holds me together when I’m ready to fall apart. He’s the anchor      that keeps me from floating away when I go too far. His heart has been the one      constant rhythm in my life and I don’t want to let it go. “I love you.”

Isaiah tucks his chin toward his chest and I force air into      my lungs when he clears his throat. “You’ve got to mean it.”

I try to physically shake the tears forming, but his hold on      my face makes it impossible. We haven’t talked for weeks, but I knew, in the      deep recesses of my mind, that our separation was temporary. This somehow feels      too real and that means this goodbye could be concrete. I can’t lose him. I      can’t. “I mean it. I love you.”

Like a friend. Like my best friend. Before Groveton, I never      understood love and now...I still don’t understand it. But I know that it’s not      emptiness, I know it’s not letting a guy use me, I know there are different      types and what I feel for Isaiah...it’s not how I feel when I’m with Ryan.

Isaiah rests his forehead on mine. “Like you love him. Tell      me you love me as much as you love him.”

Ryan. Am I in love with him? The thought causes panic. Just      the sound of his name causes my heart to trip over itself. I love the way Ryan      makes me feel. I love his words. I love his hands on my body. I love the way his      gaze causes me to blush.

But I have to leave Ryan soon in order to protect my mom. If      I say the right words, Isaiah will go with me. “Isaiah, I...”

Once upon a time, I wondered if I was falling in love with      Isaiah. Echo had hugged him and he happily hugged her back. The pain and      jealousy that shot through my body surprised even me. But I wasn’t falling for      him. I was scared of Echo. Scared of the changes she was bringing to our lives.      Changes that would have happened even if she had never existed.

I stare into his gray eyes. Isaiah’s wrong; he doesn’t love      me. Not in the way he thinks. The truth is there—in his eyes. He doesn’t look at      me the way Noah does Echo or how Chris does Lacy. He doesn’t look at me the way      Ryan does....

“I love you...”

I love Isaiah’s safety and I love his calm. I love his voice      and his laughter. I love his constant, steady presence. But if the world were      coming to an end, he’s not the person I’d want at my side. I love him. I love      him so much that I know he deserves to have a girl who falls apart at his touch.      He deserves to have a girl whose heart stops working every time he glances at      her. He deserves someone who is “in” love with him.

“...as a friend. The same way that you love me.”

Isaiah shakes his head, as if doing that will make my words      less true. “You’re wrong.”

He presses his lips against my forehead. My lower lip      trembles as I ball the material of his shirt into my hand. I’m losing him. I’m      losing my best friend.

“I’m not,” I say. “And someday you’re going to figure it      out.”

“If you change your mind...” There’s a heaviness in his      voice, and a part of me dies at the thought of him in so much pain. He touches      his lips to my forehead once more, the caress lasting longer, the pressure more      intense. Isaiah walks away from me and fades into the darkness.

“I won’t,” I whisper as I close my eyes and wish that one      day, he’ll change his.





Chapter 47

Ryan

BETH ASKED FOR TIME. How long      does she need? A day? A week? Hours? Any amount is too long when the girl I’m      falling for had tears in her eyes. Any amount is too long when I wonder if she      cares for me. I won’t see her until Tuesday. Tomorrow is parent–teacher      conferences. Today is Sunday and my parents are hosting a barbecue for the      mayor, the town council, and a few other friends of our family. I’m dressed up      and playing the perfect part.