Crown of Cinders (Imdalind #7)(46)

“I can’t. It’s off limits.”

“You have too many rules,” she snapped, cutting off my rebuttal like a razor blade. “Don’t leave the infirmary. Don’t talk to the Sk?íteks without permission.”

“That’s so that—”

“Don’t look at that blond guy if you want to live.”

“Ilyan’s nice. You just have to—”

“Don’t eat meat.”

“They just don’t—”

“Don’t yell at the nurses.”

“You shouldn’t be yelling at anyone, Míra. It’s not nice.”

“Take me to him.” The command was loud and booming, and it moved inside of me like a wave on the beach. It swept me up and made it hard to breathe.

I couldn’t ignore it. After all, I had already made my decision.

I had to save them … all of them.

And if the “dead man” was the key to that …

He was already dead like Míra had said …wasn’t he?

“How do we get past Risha?” My stomach twisted painfully, not wanting to think about what I was agreeing to. “Can you do it without hurting her?”

“I won’t kill her if that’s what you are asking.”

“No, Míra, you can’t hurt her.”

“Stay here, Jaromir. Don’t get in my way.”

“You can’t hurt her, Míra.”

Míra didn’t respond. She merely jumped to her feet, walking away from our tiny cluster of beds with her head held high.

“Hey there, Míra,” Risha responded, the yawn in her voice making it clear she was struggling to stay awake. “It’s not quite time to wake up, kiddo.”

Míra was silent except for the sound of her feet against the cold floor.

My spine hurt, all pressurized with fear, and I jerked, pulling the covers around me, trying to get lost in them. Hoping I would disappear in them. I didn’t want to see what was coming.

“You aren’t supposed to be out of bed, Míra. You know better.”

“I need to go to the bathroom.” Míra was obviously lying. She didn’t try to make it sound like she was being truthful at all. Her voice was dead, as dead as the aliens. As dead as the old man who was sucking souls. As dead as I was becoming.

“Míra, I need you to get back in bed,” Risha responded, her voice shaking in fear. Odd. I didn’t think she could get scared.

But she was.

She was terrified.

It washed over me, shaking up my spine.

The old man moved closer, his long fingers reaching forward, ready to pull my soul out of my chest.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Míra repeated, the same dead girl speaking as she stepped toward Risha.

“Get back in bed!” Risha’s yell mixed with the rattle of iron and metal that echoed around the room as she hit what I was positive was a bed stand, trying to get away from the little girl who kept moving closer.

I could see it in my head, my magic pushing the images into me. I didn’t want to see. I didn’t want to hear.

Clamping my hands over my ears and clenching my eyes shut as tightly as I could, I curled into myself, trying not to hear Risha call out in fear, trying not to hear my sister’s laugh. Trying not to see the way the room erupted in fireworks of color right above our heads.

The noise of magic and the lights had always been beautiful to me. Now, I hated them.

I wasn’t dumb. I had figured out months ago that Ryland was training everyone for a war, yet I hadn’t understood what that had meant until Míra had shown up with stories of fighting in pits and killing people.

Even then, it hadn’t been real.

Not really.

Not until now, lying here, listening to them fight, listening to Risha beg. Then it became real. It was my mother. My mother screaming as the Vil?s chased us. The screams as they ripped into her body. Her body as she lay over me, trying to keep me safe. Safe from the Vil?s that killed her, that marked me. Safe from the bombs that lit up the sky every morning. It was not being able to shower and having to eat gross food.

I didn’t want this.

I didn’t want anything to do with this.

Not anymore.

“Stop. Stop. Stop,” I whimpered amidst the noise, pressing my hands against my ears until they hurt. “Stop. Please. Stop,” I said until it was silent, the words on repeat so fast I wasn’t certain if I was speaking them aloud. I didn’t care if I was. I just wanted it to stop. I wanted it all to stop.

I didn’t want this.

“Come on,” Míra hissed as she pulled the thin blankets off me before yanking my arm and trying to get me to move. “We need to go. Get out of here before someone else shows up. You show me the way, and I’ll make sure no one gets in our way.”

“Míra …” I groaned, tears sliding down my cheeks as I remained curled in a ball, unable to move. “I can’t do this. I can’t—”

“Stop it!” she snapped, her voice sending my knees into my chest. “Don’t be a baby. You said you would help. You want to save your friends, right? This is what we have to do.”

“But, Risha …” I gasped, my heart pushing against my lungs. Everything was spinning. “You hurt her …”