Crown of Cinders (Imdalind #7)(105)

I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.

You can’t.

You will rip yourself apart with these foolish emotions.

You should have followed me from the beginning.

Shaking my head, I dismissed the words before the truth in them took hold, before that desperation that was moments from devouring me won out. The words left, allowing the world around me to return.

Sound flooded my mind with the agonizing pain of Ilyan’s cries, the soft whimpers from Joclyn as she fought for her life. They hit my heart with even more pain, my chest tightening as everything began to turn to ice, the agony so great it couldn’t be contained.

Better not to feel than to hurt.

I quite agree.

The cave shook as we ran, and the sound of some distant explosion rumbled through the stone, knocking an old vase off a small table that was inset into the stone. The blast shivered around us, sending rubble over our heads like rain. I jerked, suddenly not so sure the cave wasn’t going to come down on top of us.

“Keep moving,” Ilyan barked from in front of me.

“But the cave …” I returned with a heave, my eyes drifting up to the ceiling that continued to tremble above us, and one of the many clusters of mirrors rattled dangerously.

“It’ll be fine. There is magic stronger than us in this stone. It would take the end of magic to bring it down.”

At any other time, I would have been inspired by that answer, awed by the space that I had waited my whole life to enter. But I couldn’t. Not now.

“Keep up,” Ilyan said, his focus steady as he turned a corner and Joclyn’s feet hit the wall, sending a wave of iron and salt over me, the air infused with the smell of her blood.

The ice in my heart stabbed painfully at the smell, at the way her feet shifted like rags against the stone: lifeless, dead. Just like my heart that was slowly turning to ice and stone that would never feel again. How could it after everything? It had only just survived Risha; I didn’t think it could survive this.

It can’t. I will make sure it does not.

Another stab, this one more painful.

I cringed and sped up, running past an overstuffed chair that had been ripped and pulled apart. I kept Joclyn’s long hair in my line of sight, the strands falling over Ilyan’s arm, the braid she had worn earlier all but gone now. It was a tangle of curls now, the long golden ribbon dragging along the ground, the beautiful color stained with the same crimson as everything else.

I swallowed as Ilyan turned again, and Joclyn’s face came into view for a split second. Her beautiful diamond eyes were cast in the black that had become so normal for her, staring into nothing. Her mouth moved in silence, the singular word she had been repeating from the moment Ilyan had burst through the doors still playing on her lips, her body limp in his arms.

“Imdalind.”

Imdalind. The caves we were running through, the caves I had heard legends about for my whole life. More than that, the pool of water deep underneath where the first four had come from, where magic came from, and where Ilyan was taking us.

“Ilyan,” I gasped out as I pushed my legs harder to catch up. They were stiffening in my attempt to keep the speed Ilyan was moving at. He didn’t seem fazed by it, though. He only soared farther, his magic moving behind us as it prodded us forward. “How much farther?”

“Not far,” he gasped, the pain in his voice making it clear he was speaking to Joclyn, not to me. I didn’t care. It was still the answer I needed.

“We can make it,” I whispered, determined for the statement to be true.

I had barely gotten the words out before Ilyan’s breakneck pace slowed, the magic that was prodding us forward falling from the air. For the first time since he had commanded I follow him, he looked at me.

“Someone is ahead. I’ll need you take them out before we continue. No one can see the entrance. I can’t risk Sain finding it.”

Don’t worry; you are going to take me right to it.

Nodding once, I ignored the voice, looking away from Ilyan’s icy stare and toward the dark turn in the cave ahead of us, toward the unknown attacker who stood somewhere ahead.

Madness pressed against me, fueled by the need to save my friend, the heat of my magic not far behind. The two opposing strengths pressed against each other, both threatening to attack, to devour me.

It was a familiar sensation, but one I could control. I already had at the battle during the council just days before. I would here.

Can you?

I had to.

Do you really think you won’t kill her, instead?

I would do anything to get Ilyan where he needed to go.

My legs moved faster as I controlled my magic, pulling ahead of Ilyan as we began to round the next bend in the corridor. The dark stone swallowed us before a bright blue light flooded the hallway, spreading over the dark stone from an oversized passageway just ahead.

The narrow, dark stone hallway opened up into a massive commons room with high ceilings that reached far above us, covered in glass and mirrors. The mirror work tinkled with another distant explosion, twisting in the air as they reflected the blue light, the ethereal glow turning to ocean waves against the stone.

Water lapped against stone, against several large tapestries that were hung on the walls, against the ancient furniture that was littered throughout the space. Many couches and chairs were upturned and ripped apart. I was sure it had been beautiful months ago, but now it looked haunted and forgotten.