Crave Me (The Good Ol' Boys #4)(138)

Tears fell from her eyes, and I squeezed her hand in comfort. Wanting to hold her anyway I could. I reached across the table, rubbing her tear-stained cheek with my thumb.

“I need to make amends with you. I can’t pass my ninth step in my recovery until I do. I know I’ve said this to you a hundreds, thousands, possibly millions of times, but from the bottom of my f*cking heart and soul, baby, I am so sorry. I needed to forgive myself from the guilt of everything I did to you. To my family, my friends, the car accident. Before I could love myself. Before I could feel whole again. I’m not asking for you to forget, I’m begging you to forgive.”

She sniffled. “I forgave you a long time ago, Austin. I forgave you the moment I left your hospital room.”

“I know it’s going to take time for you to trust me again. Fuck… it’s taken almost three years for me to trust myself again. But I need you in my life.”

“Austin, I—”

“I’m not saying we go back to being what we were. I don’t want to go back to the past. I want to move forward in the future with you. I want to be your best friend, Daisy. I miss your friendship more than anything in this world. Your love, your kindness, your smile, your laugh. Us. I miss hearing your voice, even your snoring,” I chuckled.

“I don’t snore. I have allergies,” she giggled, sniffling again.

And it was still the sweetest sound I’d ever heard.

“Your allergies then. I miss those too. I just… I. Miss. You. If we could be friends again. Start from the beginning with a clean slate. If we could start in a new place, find our way back to whatever we’re supposed to be to each other. I know in my heart, as well as in my mind, body, and soul that you’re meant to be in my life one way or another. And you know that too. You wouldn’t have written it, if you didn’t.”

She took a deep breath. I wasn’t surprised in the least that she was hesitating. I couldn’t blame her after everything I’d put her through. The emotional roller-coaster ride that was never-ending, all-consuming, held her hostage for years and years.

“Let’s eat lunch, and then I’d like to show you something. Can we do that?”

She nodded, pulling her hands away.

We ate in comfortable silence both of us lost in our thoughts. Our plaguing emotions swirled all around us. I paid the bill and we walked out to my car. Once again driving in silence, I found myself reaching over the center console for her hand, kissing it before placing it in my lap. To my surprise, she let me. I couldn’t f*cking help myself, I needed to feel her.

As soon as I drove into my neighborhood, she knew where I was going. From the corner of my eye, I caught her trying to hide a grin when she looked out the window. Parking my car in the garage we made our way into my house.

The home I purchased with a family in mind.

The same one I wanted with her.

Only her.

She slowly stepped inside through the garage door, immediately taking in all her surroundings from the kitchen to the dining room. Walking straight to the sliding glass door to gaze out at the dock she loved so much. Knowing she had already left a piece of her soul on the wooden planks. I watched her move to the living room, her fingers lightly skimming my furniture. Admiring the pictures on the walls and the shelves.

“This isn’t what I wanted to show you,” I stated, grabbing her hand.

I led her to the guesthouse I had built specially for her after I read her book. She peered around the spacious open room that I’d made into her office. It was a private writing space with huge bay windows that overlooked our dock and the water. She took in every last picture of all our happy memories throughout the years that were scattered all over the walls. She walked over to the reading chair in the corner and picked up her memory blanket that I’d given to her for her birthday a long time ago. She left it behind. I had it with me always. She brought it up to her cheek, snuggling into it as her eyes began to water. Placing it back on the chair, she continued over to the bookshelf that held all of her books that she’d also left behind. I pulled every last one of them out of storage.

“I made Lucas’ company build this room for you after I read your book. I wanted you to have a happy place at my home,” I informed, gazing at her as she continued to explore the room with her hand over her heart.

She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw what I really wanted her to see. I came up behind her, close enough to where she could feel my warmth, love, and devotion for her.

“See, baby, you’ve always been with me. Even when you weren’t,” I murmured into her ear as she stared at the Twilight Sparkle Briggs doll sitting on the shelf with a picture of us beside it.

Her hand went over her mouth as fresh tears erupted.

“I bought her on my way to rehab. I never needed you more than I did back then. I prayed that she could make me as happy as it made you the last time you were holding her. Hoping that maybe one day you could hold her again, knowing that this time she was yours. And you were going to be happy, forever. With me.”

“I-I don’t know what to say.”

I turned her to face me, and there were tears streaming down her beautiful face. I resisted the urge to kiss them all away, so I wiped them away instead. She looked deep into my eyes, searching for something I hope she’d find.

“Okay,” she whispered.

I pulled away her hair, caressing her cheek with my thumb.