Conviction(72)

“It’s nine-thirty on a Monday morning, this better be good Lawson,” I mumble into the phone to my manager. My face is buried in my pillow. It smells of Meebs. Me, Meebs and sex.

“What the f*ck are you doing, Reed? You sound like you’ve got a pillow over your face.”

I roll over onto my back.

“What d’ya want?” I ask.

“And good morning to you, too. I take it things didn’t go too well with bacteria?”

He’s such a funny f*cker… not.

“Her name’s, Nina. The only bacteria around here is what you have around your dick after you’ve been shoving it inside Amanda,” I tell him.

“Wow, you really are pissed off this morning. What’s up? Little miss muse not let you into her knickers?”

“Fuck you, Knight. You have five seconds to tell me what you want, before I hang up this call and sever all ties,” I tell him.

“I’ve spoken to the label. If we can agree on a percentage of royalties from Shift’s back catalogue, you’re free to sign elsewhere. I’ve spoken to Layton’s people, SNL wants you on the show. There’s a few other interview requests as well. Lots of enquiries about whether you and Marley will be working together in the future, and yeah, that’s about it.”

I stare up at the ceiling, digesting all of that information.

“Can we not pre-record SNL and just send the tape?” I ask.

“No, you know that’s not how they do things. There’s a reason that the last word in the show title is ‘live’ Reed.”

I let out a long sigh. I wonder if Meebs can get time off to come out to the US with me. I don’t want to go if she can’t.

“Okay, find out when they want us on and I’ll see what I can do. The only other interviews I’m interested in are the ones that Marley agrees to. I’m happy to discuss the charity event, but nothing else.”

“SNL want you to perform too,” he states.

“If Layton’s up for it, then that’s fine with me. Anything else?”

“Like you said Reed, it’s only nine-thirty on Monday morning. Give them a chance. I’m sure after your surprise appearance Saturday there’ll be more. I’ve already had over a dozen enquiries about who the girl is you dedicated the song to, and who it was you left with Saturday night.”

My stomach drops at this news. I’ve never bothered hiding too much of my life from the press before, but I want to keep Meebs out of the spotlight for as long as possible. She’s already nervous about my career impacting on hers and we agreed last night to lay low for a while and definitely until her divorce is finalised.

“Don’t tell them a thing. I don’t want them getting a hold of her name or any details about her,” I tell him.

“Got ya.”

We’re both silent for a few seconds. He knows this is different for me. Usually the women I’m seen with want it known who they are. They want their name bandied about as Reed’s latest lover, and I have no problem with that. I’m happy to help anyone’s career but sometimes, sometimes it would’ve been nice if just one of those women had been interested in me and not just in where being seen with me could get them.

“So, you sorted your shit out with the muse then?” Lawson asks.

I let out a long sigh before answering him, “We talked, but we still have a lot more talking to do. It's early days Laws, but we’re gonna give it a go.” A vein in my neck throbs as my blood rushes through it. Lawson Knight has seen me at my most vile and destructive. He’s seen me at my most perverse. He’s only too aware of how adverse I’ve been to intimacy over the years, so admitting my feelings for Meebs to him now is a bit of a big deal for me. Not because I’m ashamed of what I feel for her. Fuck no! I want the whole world to know. I’m just ashamed that he knows about my past behaviour.

“Give it a go? As in… what?” he asks.

“I love her, Laws. I’ve never stopped loving her and seeing her again, it just all clicked back into place.” I rake my free hand through my hair. “I know it sounds like bullshit, but it’s like we’ve never been apart,” I admit.

“Fuck,” he says quietly into the phone. “Well, I s’pose when you know, you know, mate.”

“And I sure as f*ck know,” I tell him.

“And she feels the same?” he asks.

“She does. She’s terrified, but she wants this as much as me. I just need to keep this out of the press for as long as possible, Laws. I don’t want those f*ckers scaring her away. We need a bit of time to sort through this before we go public,” I can hear an almost pleading tone to my voice.

“Of course, man. Whatever it takes.” There’s a moment's silence. “I’m really pleased for you, Reed, you know. After everything else that’s gone on in the past, I really hope you can make a go of things with this girl.”

“Thanks Laws. I’ll talk to ya later.”

I end the call when I feel a lump forming in my throat. Nina Matthews has been back in my life for less than forty-eight hours and I’m a bigger emotional mess than your average fourteen-year-old girl getting her first period.





I head downstairs when I hear my dad and Sandra talking and moving about in my kitchen. They must’ve known that I had company yesterday because they didn’t come over, didn’t even let the dogs run loose.