Cold as Ice (Willis/Carter #2)(85)
Like you do with women, thought Ebony. ‘Sounds expensive,’ she said.
‘It is. But I don’t have many overheads and I’m lucky enough to be good at poker.’ Ebony raised an eyebrow. ‘I play it online. It fits into my lifestyle and Elsie’s. But it’s a bit of a lonely existence.’ He paused, played with his glass, looked at Ebony. She wondered if I’m lonely was one of his standard pick-up lines.
‘What about Elsie’s mum?’ she asked.
‘We share childcare. I have Elsie for half the week and every other weekend.’
‘And normally you’re out clubbing with Selena and Julie on your “other” weekend?’
‘No . . .’ He laughed. ‘I can see you’ve formed the wrong impression of me. I like to have fun now and again but Elsie is my life and everything I do is for her. I don’t have time for much else. Yeah . . . I went back to Julie’s a couple of times and we had fun but she isn’t my type and I’m not hers if she’s honest. What about you? You’re just starting dating again then?’ She nodded.
‘Yeah – it’s scary but it feels right.’
‘What made you call it a day with Archie’s dad?’
‘He was abusive. He was in trouble in Jamaica. He was controlling. He got nasty with me. I just decided I didn’t want to live my life bullied. Archie needed me to be strong.’
‘You seem like the naturally strong type to me. Can’t imagine you put up with much shit.’ He was staring straight at her. Ebony thought she’d been doing well up till then. She needed to dig deep inside her past to come up with what it felt like to take abuse. She didn’t have to search her memory for long before she was back, cornered by her mum, by the bullies in the care home and the staff who were cruel, taking the pain; blaming herself for not stepping out of the way quick enough. Blaming herself for leaving it just that one second too late to run away. The less she struggled the sooner it would be over. The care home could be very tough. She’d been in three different ones altogether. In between that she was with foster carers or back with her mother. Anywhere Ebony looked there was trouble of one kind or another. The only respite she ever had was when she went to a foster couple called the Bennets; they had grown-up kids. They spent their lives giving temporary homes to kids like Ebony. The one thing Ebony always knew was that she wasn’t unique. There were thousands of kids like her in the UK. The day when she had to leave the Bennets was a sad one but she swallowed the sadness and she didn’t cry. It felt like one more kick in the stomach. Then she turned up in the home and things were bad, worse than they’d ever been, until Micky came along.
‘I learnt to take it,’ she said to Christian.
‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you so sad. I can see how much it still affects you.’ He put his hand on hers. She looked at it. Was it a hand that strangled? They were strong hands and they felt rough. Not poker player’s soft hands. He saw her hesitate. ‘Sorry – rough hands. Been making Elsie a dolls house for Christmas.’
‘Ahhh.’ Ebony said responding as required. She turned his hand over and saw the ring of a blister. ‘Is that a burn?’
‘Yes.’ He withdrew his hand. ‘The things you do for love, huh? That was welding the tiny iron railing for the front of the house. Did you decide enough was enough with your ex? Thought you could do better?’ He tilted his head back as if studying her. She nodded and he sat back and continued staring at her, his arms folded across his chest. ‘You’re a strange one, if I’m honest. You’re not what I expected. Maybe it’s because you have spent your adult years living abroad, you just don’t seem to fit here, that’s all. You are a hard person to get close to, but a nut worth cracking, I think.’ He smiled. ‘If you’ll let me?’
Ebony smiled. He leant across the table and kissed her softly on the lips. Ebony resisted the urge to shudder. Something about Christian made her worry about what she was going to catch, even when he touched her hand. She pretended to look away bashfully as she took a drink of wine to wash it away.
At the end of the evening Ebony left Christian with another kiss at the Underground and made sure she wasn’t followed as she got off the Tube at the next stop and onto a bus. She walked the few minutes to her estate. Already she was beginning to feel more at home in the vertical village. The bangs and shouts of people on the landings and stairs echoed as she climbed the flights to her floor. She passed the groups of kids on the way up on the stairwell. Back inside the flat she rang Carter.
‘How did your cover hold up?’
‘Not bad. Christian senses I don’t quite fit but thinks it’s because of my life in Jamaica. He’s watching me. I’m the new girl to conquer.’
‘You’re finding it easy to keep in character?’
‘It’s not perfect but it’s getting easier. The accent is not a problem, doesn’t have to be that broad, but I worry that I’m not hitting the nail on the head with some aspects of parenting.’
‘Remember, keep talking about your baby.’
‘Yeah, but these women are in college to get some identity back. They don’t spend all night talking about their babies; they want a life beyond motherhood.’
‘You’ve got to know some of them?’
‘Yeah – a couple. It’s all a bit of a cliquey inner group in the college.