Cold Justice (Willis/Carter #4)(89)

She stepped into her bedroom and walked around opening the wardrobes again, even though she’d done it when she arrived – she did it again, this time imagining Toby as he put his things away. The fifteen-year-old, excited about coming away with his father at long last. So happy that his exams were over and so in love with a local girl.

It made her heart ache. In her mind she saw Kensa and Toby together and it didn’t seem so strange. They must have both been skinny little things, holding hands, kissing. It must have seemed like the beginning of something wonderful. Lauren went to stand in front of the mirror on the chimneybreast. Snowdrops and garden flower tiles decorated the hearth and grate surround. She looked into her own eyes and she imagined Toby standing behind her, his arms encircling her the way he did when they fell asleep after sex, and she always felt so loved at that moment, so content, sometimes she’d say to herself – if it all ends now this is the way I’d like to go. She felt the sting on the bridge of her nose that told her she was going to cry, but she had exhausted her crying capabilities on her son. Samuel got all her tears.

Then she knew she’d been wrong to push Toby away just when he needed her most. It wasn’t Toby’s fault. It was the person’s who took Samuel from them. When she thought about Toby and Kensa, she understood that what they had felt was real too. The first love – the first cut – deep pain and sweetness that stays for ever. Kensa still had love in her eyes. Kensa didn’t know what happened that night. Kensa and Lauren were the two women who knew what Toby was really like. Lauren smiled into the mirror as Toby’s image smiled back at her. She felt a surge of strength. She phoned him.

‘Toby?’

‘Lauren.’

‘Are you okay, Toby?’

‘Lauren, I’m so sorry I haven’t been honest with you.’ He took a deep breath. ‘There is someone else – I can’t live here without you and Samuel, but I also need Gareth in my life. He’s the man I work with. He’s become more than a good friend. I didn’t plan it. I didn’t want it. I always thought we’d be together for ever, you and I, and I’ve tried. I just can’t pretend any more.’

Lauren sighed deeply as she closed her eyes and hung on to the phone. ‘Toby, I am sorry. So sorry for all of us. I understand what you’re saying. I had hoped that we could turn our marriage round. We were so happy once. I thought we could be again but, I accept it if you say you love someone else. Do this last thing for me, Toby. Do it for your son. For yourself. Come down, Toby, and we can face this together.’

‘No, I can’t. I can’t face it. What good can I be?’

‘We still think Samuel is alive, Toby. It looks likely Kensa may have taken him, but she is mentally unhinged. She still holds a lot of affection for you. You could talk to her. It may be the only chance we have of getting Samuel back alive.’

Toby came off the phone and walked back into the lounge where Jeanie was waiting for him. She was sitting on the sofa and working on her laptop. She closed it as he approached. He sat thinking for a few minutes and then he looked up as she waited for him.

‘I’ve told Lauren that our marriage is over. I’ve told her I love Gareth. He makes me feel like I can be me. No more pretence, no more trying too hard. I want to be happy. I want Lauren to be happy.’

Jeanie nodded. ‘I understand. Was she okay?’

‘Lauren gets on with life. She’s not someone to buckle. She’ll pick herself up and carry on, no matter what. But, she has told me some home truths and said that I need to do more, everything I can, to try and find my son.’

‘What does she want you to do?’

‘She wants me to go down to Cornwall and face things. She thinks Kensa will talk to me.’ Toby was sweating at the thought of it.





Chapter 38


Carter and Willis left Cam’s café, crossed the road and headed towards the car park.

‘Cam’s story was something, wasn’t it? What do you make of it?’ asked Carter.

‘Some parts of his story are so sad, they have to be true,’

‘But?’

‘Cam Simmons definitely has something he’s not mentioning. He has a bit of a love triangle thing going on with the women.’

Carter walked up the steps to the Surfshack and cupped his hands as he looked through the glass. He knocked on the door. As he waited he heard a car start up and watched Raymonds appear from the car park and pull alongside. Carter held up his hand to him and Raymonds opened his window. He smiled.

‘Raymonds?’

‘I hear you’ve been asking about Kensa.’

‘Really? Who told you that?’

‘Well, let’s just say, if you want to know anything then come and ask me.’

‘Okay, well, where’s the report on the assault on her in 2000? Where are the photos of the injuries?’

‘Destroyed. We didn’t keep any of it – no charges were brought. What was the point?’

‘Tell me, then, who were the suspects?’

‘What suspects?’ He started to drive off. Carter stepped closer.

‘Local lads, men, at the time. Men who were at the party where sixteen-year-olds and under were getting off their faces. Men who spiked drinks and then followed their victims to a house where girls were raped. Those fucking men, Raymonds. Where are they?’