Claiming Crusher (Savage Brothers MC #4)(36)

“You know, that sounds kind of barbaric. Having anyone speak of you as their property.” I say, because she told me about the leather vest that said Property of Dragon on the back of it.

“These bikers live in a different world. Besides, I like it. A man in this world doesn’t claim a woman unless he plans on keeping her. It’s a big deal and a huge step for them, because let’s face it, these boys don’t need a woman. They have women jumping in their beds left and right. For them to want to tie themselves to one woman? That’s all about pride and respect for the women they care about.”

I listen to her words and Zander’s face pops in my mind. He wanted me there tonight. He said I was his woman. He wanted to show me off. My heart speeds up. I bite my nails as I listen to everything she says and in my mind relate it to me and Zander. Is that what he thinks about us? After just a month really? Is that even possible?

“I thought Nikki and Freak hadn’t known each other that long?”

Nicole laughs, “Girl please! Don’t you remember how Dragon took over my life from day one? Moss doesn’t grow under these boys’ feet.”

I think about it. Honestly, it’s true. They really haven’t been together that long. If I am important to Zander…if he really means that I’m his woman…maybe…I mean I could swing by for thirty minutes or so, right? I could make it that long without doing something stupid. I hear Michael’s voice in my head telling me how pathetic and idiotic I am… I tap it down. I definitely need to go to a meeting. It’s time I start trying to make a life for myself. Michael thinks I’m dead. Zander doesn’t need to know.

“I…I might drop by the club tonight, after my meeting…” I tell her, and I can hear the nerves in my voice. When Nicole answers, I can tell she hears them too.

“I’d love that, and it’ll be okay I promise. Dragon will behave.”

She thinks I’m worried about the club’s reaction to me, since the shooting. Truth is, they’ve all pretty much made me aware of how they feel about me. I kind of agree with them, so I’m okay with it. Just the thought of being around so many men…I’ve never allowed that to happen. Add that in with being around crowds…that’s a recipe for a panic attack. If I go to a meeting first? Could I do it? Or would a meeting and the memories it brings up make it worse? Shit.

“You still there, Dani?”

“Yeah, just thinking. I’m…going to try and go to a meeting.”

“That’s good honey, you want me to go with you?”

“Nah, Dragon would flip if you try and go out.” I don’t mention with me, but I think that’s pretty clear. “I’ll swing by when I’m done.”

“I’m proud of you Dani, I know it’s hard.”

She does know. She just has no idea how hard, but then again she doesn’t know the entire story. She never will.

“Talk to you later, bitch. Take care of yourself and listen to Dragon, take it easy. I need you healthy, please?”

“Will do, mommy. Can’t wait to see you.”

“Later, woman,” I say hanging up. I stare at my phone for a few more minutes, wondering if I’m doing the right thing. I’m probably deluding myself. With my history I don’t think I could hope for a normal life, but if I could have Zander…could continue the last month…Maybe if I can manage to stay in therapy and do better I might be able to keep him…longer.

That thought is what pushes me to get moving. I will do this. I will clean up and go to a meeting and even set up more. I’ll drop by the party and make Zander happy. I will do this. I can do this.





Chapter 16




Crusher


I don’t want to be here. This damn party is dragging I texted Dani, but she’s not answering. I was really hoping she’d show up tonight. It kind of pisses me off that she’s not willing to be here. I look around the party and Nicole is sitting in Dragon’s lap, Nikki is sitting in Freak’s, Hawk and some of the other boys have Twinkies. Frog is talking to some blonde, I can’t remember seeing around here before. Bull has Bambi in his lap and you can tell they’re not far off from finding a room. Shit everyone is paired off but me. Trouble is, I don’t want what is here for the taking. The past few weeks with Dani have been the best in my life. I want more of it—more of her. I can’t force her though and I sure as hell ain’t going to chase a bitch to give her my dick.

I’m being a jerk. Truth is, I’m two small steps away from being drunk. Today was f*cked up. We ended a life today. We ended the life of a brother today. Yes, the brother was a traitor, he f*cked us over. Yes, he was a waste of air, but still a party for any reason seems the wrong thing to do tonight. I keep remembering his eyes when he told us to go f*ck ourselves. Eyes of a man I fought alongside of for years, eyes of a man I thought of as blood…hating and mocking me—all of us. That’s bitter shit. So the fact that Dani isn’t here, is just icing on top of the f*cking cake.

I take another swig and sigh heavily. Fuck it, I should just get out of here. Hop on my bike and head out somewhere maybe find some strange…

“What’s up, Bro? You doing okay after today?” Gunner interrupts my thoughts, as he sits down at my table.