Claiming Crusher (Savage Brothers MC #4)(15)

“I’m sorry about your family.”

“Life’s f*cked up,” he says, staring off into space.

“Amen.”

He turns back around and looks at me.

“Do yourself a favor hummingbird, drink yourself to sleep tonight and then get the hell out of here in the morning. This life ain’t for you.”

“I’ve never really had a life,” I say, taking a bottle of Jack he hands me from his dresser. I take a drink, wincing at the burn and pass it back to him. He sits down and we pass the bottle back and forth for what seems like hours, not talking.

When it’s empty I lay back on a pillow and Beast lays beside me. He makes no move to touch me and as odd as it sounds, this is the best night of my life. Lying in bed with a complete stranger drunk as a skunk is calm, relaxing, and wonderful. Of course maybe I just feel relaxed because I am drunk. Who knows?

“How long were you and your woman together?”

“Not long. Should have never knocked her up, but it happened and I wanted our child more than anything. Annabelle was all that was good in the world. Without her the place is just cold and dark.”

My heart turns over for Beast and the loss he has to have suffered. My hand goes to my stomach and I rub it absently.

“I can never have a child,” I whisper, my words slurring.

“Sorry, hummingbird.”

“The world is f*cked up,” I say staring off in the darkness, ignoring the tears sliding silently down my face.

“Amen.” Beast says.

“Can I hide out here for a couple days?” I ask, before I can talk myself out of it. I don’t think I’ve ever felt safe like I do around Beast.

“You can’t run away forever hummingbird,” he says and he doesn’t know he just whispered the words I fear the most.

“I just need to catch my breath,” I whisper.

“Then breathe, I’ll make sure the demons stay away until you can fight them,” he vows, and I suddenly wish with everything I have that he was Crusher. It physically hurts that he isn’t.

In a little while, I hear Beast snore and I know he’s sleeping. I’m close to going there myself, I’m just fighting it. The nightmares are always waiting for me. Michael is always there, I hate sleep. Just as my eyes close, Beast curls into me and hugs me close. I let him and his warmth soothes me. I hope it’s enough to keep the nightmares at bay. I surrender to sleep and it’s not Michael’s face I see first in my dreams. It’s Crusher’s.





Chapter 4




Crusher


It’s her damned doe-like, deep brown, eyes. They haunt me. Something about Dani calls to me. Even when I know she’s going to shoot me down, I can’t stay away. I don’t understand it. Women usually eat out of the palm of my hand and this one…Motherf*cker! This one runs from me.

I’m pissed off about how the situation unraveled outside the theater. There was only one way to handle things, because at that point no one could control Dragon. You’d have to be a damned fool not to see how hung up he is on Nicole. She has his balls tied in a f*cking bow. All us brothers could do when he went off was make sure we protected his ass. So I did. What did it get me?

At least this one isn’t pointing a gun at me.

Her words wound me. I have never hurt a woman, and this one well, you’d have to be a fool not to see the pain in her eyes, or to miss the fear that came off of her in waves tonight. She’s broken. Some f*cker shattered her and left her bleeding. When I see her, I’m reminded of another girl. Melly. A girl I loved with all my heart. A girl I wasn’t able to save…a girl, I failed. Losing her has always hurt me. It changed me, but Melly is not why I am drawn to Dani.

No, if it was just Melly and their similarities, I wouldn’t be lying here in bed with my dick semi-hard thinking about Dani. I wouldn’t be jealous that she went off with some overgrown, over-haired, half-wit… Beast? I mean c’mon, I’ve heard some f*cked up road names in my life, but Beast? The fact that his dick is probably where I want mine to be right now—f*cking pisses me off.

I think back to Melly. It was such a long time ago. Another lifetime really, before I grew up, before I met my brothers, before the army…all of it. We were kids, just trying to figure out life. Melly was innocent and pure and I had never been exposed to that in life. Her laugh could fill in any dark space in the world. She was full of life—until her mom remarried. I grew up hard, mostly on the streets, in and out of different foster homes, so I saw the signs quickly. The bruises Melly would come to school sporting, the circles gathering under her eyes, the broken bones. I knew it was happening, but f*ck I was little more than a kid myself. Melly didn’t trust me to be able to take care of her. How many times did I beg and plead for her to let me take her away? How many times did I lay down at night worried, wondering what was happening to her? Maybe Melly was right not to believe I could save her? I tried once and ended up in the hospital. A kid is no match for a grown ass man. Still, if she had gone away with me, I could have kept her safe, I know I could have.

This shit is going to get me in trouble. When my memories are this close to the surface, I don’t rest. The pictures haunt me. You don’t see the things I saw that night and remain unscathed. I need to shut them down and lock the door, but seeing how bad Jess had been beat, together with Dani and that mess. I can’t.