Chirp(60)

Seth raised up and forced her into his arms. “You’re the only woman. My woman. What just happened has nothing to do with me breaking up with her. I told you. I made that decision days ago. You’ve done nothing wrong.” He offered his best wicked smile. “You’ve done everything right.” He flopped back down onto his back. “Damn. I’m happy. For the first time in months, I’m actually happy.”

Hanna pulled air into her lungs. “Well, that’s about to change, because I have something to tell you, and when I do, you’ll hate me.”

He propped his arm under his head and faced her. “There is nothing that could make me hate you.” He stroked his finger down her cheek. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll love you forever.”

“Don’t be so sure. I just don’t want you to hold it against him or let it affect your relationship. Okay? Promise me that.”

Seth swung his body up and sat cross-legged. “Oh hell. Did you sleep with Rance?”

“No! I’ve never had sex with anyone but you.”

“What? Are you kidding? Not since high school? Why the hell not?”

“I’ve always been in love with you. I didn’t want anyone else.”

He gathered her into his arms. “I’m sorry.” Then he pulled away and smiled. “Not about you doing without sex. I kind of like that I’m the only one. Damn, I must be really good to ruin it for every other man in the world.”

“Seth, this isn’t funny. It’s serious. As serious as it gets.”

“Oh God. You’re not dying, are you? I mean, we can take you . . .”

“Stop it! Just let me say it and get it over with.”

He threw up his hands in surrender. “Okay. Okay. What?”

Her lip quivered for a second, then she bit it. Whatever it was, he could tell this was killing her. Grabbing for her shirt, she covered herself as if her nakedness made it worse. She swallowed so hard, a gurgling sound came from deep in her throat, like she might throw up. She drew a shallow breath. “You have a son. We have a son.”

What did she say?

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me. When I didn’t hear from you again, I figured it’d be best not to tell you. Clearly you didn’t want anything to do with me, so what would have been the point?”

He rose to his full height and glared down at her. “The point? The point is you had my kid. I had a right to know!”

Now she pulled the blanket over her and sobbed. “I know. I know. But if you had, you would have insisted on marriage. I was seventeen and pregnant. I couldn’t help you. I couldn’t work. You would have had to drop classes and get a part-time job. Move out of the dorm. Lose your scholarship. How long would it have been before you hated me for ruining your life?” Her voice cracked. “I know now you hate me anyway, but at least you finished law school.”

He dropped to his knees and threw his arms around her. “I don’t hate you. I’m pissed. Yes. But I could never hate you.”

She cried into his chest. “But you don’t love me, either, right?”

This was a dream. Or a nightmare. He wasn’t sure which. He had so many questions, he didn’t know where to start. How could she do this? Keep a child, his child, from him. Why hadn’t Dessie told him? Or Rance? His brain spun. Okay, Rance couldn’t know because of prison. But Dessie? No, she must not have known either. He ran his hand over his jaw to ease the tension. “I need a few minutes.” He slid off the tailgate, put his feet on the ground, and walked away.

Hanna’s sobs pierced the night.

God, he needed to get his thoughts together. Truthfully he’d always dreamed of having a son—and now he did—with Hanna. And he loved her. Really loved her. Had always loved her. Nothing else mattered. He returned to the truck and climbed in. “Don’t cry. It’s okay. Tell me about him.”

She’d gotten dressed while he’d sorted things out. She pulled the hem of her shirt to her eyes and wiped. “He looks like you. Even the way his hair grows on the back of his neck. The little swirl you have here.” She pressed her fingers to the spot. “He has it too. And when he half grins”—she touched her fingertip to his mouth—“his lip quirks up the same as yours.”

Her breath hitched between each sentence, and tears flowed down her cheeks. “His name is Noah David.”

Seth cocked his head. “You gave him my middle name?”

“Of course I did. He’s your son.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“You have no idea how close I came to calling, and I must have written fifty letters, only to throw them in the trash. And just when I decided to tell you, I found out about your engagement. Not the best time to spring fatherhood on you and your bride. I know you may never forgive me, but someday I hope you can.”

“What have you told him about me? Does he think I don’t care?”

“No. I would never let that happen. He asked once, and I told him you lived so far away you couldn’t come here.”

“Christ, Hanna. Where the hell would that be? Mars? What kind of man would never want to see his kid?”

Now her breath came in gasps. “I know I’ve done everything wrong. But regardless of the mistakes I’ve made, I’m a good mother. I swear I am. I’ll let you see him anytime. I’ll share custody. You can hate me because I deserve it, but please don’t take him from me.”