Chirp(39)

“I want to touch you.”

He whispered a laugh. “God, I hope so.” He took her hand, guided it inside his boxers.

Holy crap. She’d never touched a man’s penis before. Not even Kevin’s. Rance was hard. And big. Now that she was holding it, what was she supposed to do? The answer came quickly as he moved against her slow and steady.

“Damn, Chirp. That feels so fucking good I don’t want you to stop, but we have to or I’ll get my rocks off before I’m inside you.”

That’s what she wanted. Him. All of him. She couldn’t wait. It would be good because Rance had experience. Unlike Kevin, who’d been as clueless as she. And it’d been over so quickly, there’d been no satisfaction for her.

She let go, and Rance shucked his underwear, took time to roll on a condom, then slid her back onto the bed and climbed on top. He leaned down and kissed her again. Once wasn’t enough. She didn’t want him to stop. Ever. “I like when you put your tongue in my mouth.”

He chuckled. A low, deep tone that got her hotter. He raked his fingers higher, brushing between her thighs. Then his touch became more intimate as he slipped a finger inside her. God help her.

“You’re so fucking wet. I can’t wait any longer.”

He rose above her, and she felt pressure and pain as he entered her. “Wait.”

He went still. “What’s wrong?”

“It burns. Give me a second.”

He pulled back, but she clenched his hips with both hands and coiled her legs around him. “Okay. Start again.”

He went deeper, and the stretch hurt even more. She couldn’t hold back the tears.

He cursed and tried to pull out.

“No. Keep going,” she insisted.

“I don’t think I should.”

He tried to stop again, but she dug her nails deeper into his flesh. “Your penis is already in my vagina. I want you to finish!” She bucked hard. Once, twice, and the third time he thrust back and plunged past her virginity. She yelped like a kicked dog.

He uttered more obscenities, angled her up, and drove into her hard. Within seconds he released and slumped forward, pressing his full weight on her.

The pain had been intense. Not his fault. She’d wanted him to get it over with.

He rolled off her. “Goddammit. Why didn’t you tell me you were a virgin?”

“I didn’t think I was.”

He glared at her. “What do you mean? You’ve either fucked or you haven’t.”

The anger in his eyes caused her stomach to turn. “I was fourteen. I wasn’t sure he’d gotten it in right, until now. And you’re bigger than Kevin. A lot bigger.”

“Fourteen? How old was this Kevin?”

“The same age.”

Rance sighed as if relieved, and she couldn’t think of anything to say, so she got up and crossed the hall to her bathroom, where she turned the spigot to fill the tub. Once she soaked in hot water, she’d be all right.

It wasn’t long until Rance knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

“Dammit, Chirp. I’m sorry. I should have asked. But I saw the birth control pills and assumed . . .”

He was still mad. She could see it in his eyes. Hear it in his voice. But there was something else there, too. Regret. “They’re to regulate my periods. It isn’t your fault. There had to be a first time sometime. Right? It’ll be better next time.”

The muscles in his jaw flexed. “There won’t be a next time.”





18


Rance


Rance disgusted himself. He’d hurt her physically and emotionally, and that was the last thing he’d wanted to do. Her expression when he’d said there wouldn’t be a next time filled him with regret. It’d been the same as telling her she was a lousy lay. And she was. Worst sex of his life, and she was the most awkward partner he’d ever had. She didn’t know how to kiss, or where to put her hands, or what to do with his cock once she had her fingers around it.

But, dammit, if he’d known she was a virgin, he could have prepared her better. Taken more time. More foreplay. But discovering it in the middle of things pissed him off, and he’d lost his cool. Rammed into her like it was what she wanted. Well, it was. She’d said so, but he should have stopped.

Hell, he should have picked up on her innocence the minute he’d kissed her. But he hadn’t, so now what was he going to do? He hoped to hell she didn’t want to talk about it. Who was he kidding? She hated talking.

He lay awake for hours telling himself the best plan was to pretend it never happened. But he wasn’t sure he could. Her cries of pain kept ringing in his ears. He’d never hurt a woman before. Not during sex or any other time. But he’d never popped a girl’s cherry, either. Still, he should have figured that out when his dick felt like it was in a vise. All the clues were there; he’d just been too stupid to recognize them.

He sat up and hung his head. She was probably asleep by now. He should go to her. Apologize again. No. It would contradict what he’d said. No more sex. Ever.

The craving for a smoke and drink hit him hard, but he’d given up the cancer sticks so he’d settle for whiskey. He pulled on his jeans and headed to the kitchen. Once he got the bottle and glass, he ambled outside to the back deck and collapsed onto the chaise.