Cheater (Curious Liaisons, #1)(82)

And make myself and everyone around me believe it was the truth.

It was the first time in my life I believed what Avery had always said. I was the devil himself.

And I was too proud to go after the one girl who could give me salvation, save me from myself, from the depths of hell.

I grimaced and tipped back a bottle of beer.

Thatch had pursued Austin, but I knew it was already too late.

He’d screwed up.

I knew he would—but I wanted things to be different for them, because Austin deserved a happy ending.

Even if she wasn’t exactly my favorite person.

“She’s not sick, is she?” Kayla’s voice interrupted my morose thoughts. I set the beer bottle down and started to stand. “Wait, sit.”

With a curse, I plopped back down on the chair and looked out at the giant oak tree that Avery had fallen out of when she was a kid. At least it was quiet outside—until now. “I really don’t want to talk, Kayla, not now, not like this.”

“She hides her sadness well.” Kayla took the seat next to me. “I helped Brooke—I was supposed to distract Thatch and get him to leave the room.”

“What?” I hissed as betrayal washed over me. “Why the hell would you help Brooke? You know she’s insane. She’s always been jealous of you and, apparently, now Avery.”

“She’s hurting.” Kayla sighed. “And since I was hurting . . . We’re all capable of making bad choices. My bad choice was made when I came home after seeing you and Avery together and cried myself to sleep.” I winced. “Brooke came into my room and told me about your, um, calendar. Apparently, she and Molly work out at the same gym, and one thing led to another—then suddenly Brooke made the connection.”

“Son of a bitch.” I clenched my fists.

“I was so angry at you, angry at Avery for lying, and then Brooke planted the thought in my head that you didn’t really love Avery—and maybe you still loved me, I just needed a chance to prove it.” She let out a bitter laugh. “And look how that turned out? I look like a hooker, Brooke naturally betrayed my trust and wanted you for herself—and wonder of all wonders, you really do love Avery.”

“That dress really is horrible, Kayla. I say that as a friend. You should burn it. You almost flashed Grandpa Lewis twice.”

Her chuckle was low, familiar. Years ago I lived for it. Funny how we were able to sit together like we were friends again.

But the mess with Avery?

I cursed again.

“You love her.”

“I do.”

“You know, Lucas, I wish I could hate you.”

“If I had a penny for every time I had a woman tell me that”—I stared down at my shoes—“I’d be a very rich man.”

“That’s a compliment, you know, the fact that you can roll through life like a complete asshole, yet women still want to like you.”

“I should make a profession out of it.” I sank down into my chair. My heart was so damn annoying—it hurt like hell. How could an organ hurt? It did. And it sucked.

“Start at the beginning,” Kayla whispered.

“She works”—I caught myself—“she worked for me.”

“Not that beginning.”

My self-confidence cracked as I looked at the oak tree and let old memories take over. “It was her hair.”

“Her hair?” Kayla repeated.

“I loved her hair. When she got back from summer camp, she had just turned seventeen, and it had been a few months since I’d seen her. I was just getting ready to start my first real job, you’d already left for grad school, and she knocked on my door, begging me for waffle mix.”

Kayla laughed. “Sounds like her.”

“Yeah, well, she offered me a kidney in exchange for Bisquick.” I chuckled. “Naturally, I made her up her price and said I wanted to partake of this glorious food she was about to make. She grumbled about how greedy I was, and marched right into the kitchen like she owned it and started baking.” Her legs had been so long, her shorts so ridiculously short, her tank top falling off her bronzed shoulders. “She started dancing slowly to the music that had just popped up on the TV, then looked over her shoulder and said, ‘I could get used to this, Thorn.’”

I sighed. “What she meant and how I took it were two very different things. The sun was shining directly on her pretty strawberry-blonde hair, and the only thought that consumed me was ‘God, I would give more than a kidney just to freeze this moment in time—and keep her forever.’”

Tears filled Kayla’s eyes. “But we were engaged.”

“Yes.” My voice was hollow. “So I ignored it, thinking it was just cold feet, right? A passing fascination with a girl who’d suddenly grown up. And then one night, I almost kissed her. It freaked me out. I’d only ever been with you. I mean, we’d been together since the eighth grade. So then I told myself I was attracted to her because I was being a guy.”

“And it got worse?” Kayla asked.

“So, so much worse,” I groaned, remembering all the moments I almost took Avery in my arms and imagined kissing her. “The night of the rehearsal dinner was my breaking point. I realized I couldn’t go through with it. I couldn’t marry you and have such strong feelings for your sister. I was a coward. I should have said something, but I kept thinking it would pass, and when I saw her in her rehearsal dress . . .” I cursed and balled my hands into fists. “I started drinking because that always leads to good decisions, and then when I saw her later that night, I was already on my way to being completely drunk. She helped me back to the house, and I kissed her—kissed her so damn hard it probably terrified her. But she, she kissed me back, and for a few seconds in time I had the girl I’d always wanted, until she shoved me away. She looked at me as if I’d betrayed her. Her eyes said it all—I want you, but not this way.”