Chasing Forever (The Forever Series #1)(29)
“So…” She watched Lucas smiling at her. That smile brought back a lot of memories. Memories she didn’t want to revisit today or any other day. “We might as well enjoy lunch. I’m kind of hungry.” She sat down on the bench and started unrolling the top of the brown bag. “What’s for lunch?”
“Chicken parmesan sandwich for me and eggplant parmesan sandwich for you,” he answered as he pulled off his charcoal suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white and blue-striped dress shirt, exposing his tanned forearms.
“I love eggplant parmesan,” she responded absently as she pulled two sandwiches wrapped in white paper out of the bag.
“I know,” he replied, his voice low and intimate as he sat down on the bench next her, his leg brushing against hers making her aware of his nearness.
She looked up at him as she unwrapped her sandwich. “Do you remember everything?” she asked before she could stop herself. She could kick herself, repeatedly. Acknowledging his efforts and gestures wasn’t a good idea. In fact, it was a really bad idea. So many things he’d done over the past couple weeks reminded her of Lucas’s thoughtful side, the one she loved like a hopelessly infatuated adolescent six years ago.
“Not everything, but I remember a lot about you, about us. How could I forget?”
Regan’s hands froze on the white paper. She cleared her throat and watched a couple joggers run along the dirt trail on the opposite side of the park. She wanted to act unfazed by his comment, but she didn’t think she could do it. That was the problem with Lucas Evanston. Maybe she’d never be immune to him, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise.
He placed his hand on her leg just below the hem of her skirt, and to her embarrassment, she shivered. “For the record, we had a lot of good times together, really good times. It wasn’t all bad, not even close.”
She swallowed hard. “I know. That’s what made the end so hard to take, to forgive.”
His thumb rubbed gently back and forth along the inside of her leg. “I really wish you could.”
Caught in his cat-like gaze that was alluring as ever, she couldn’t look away. When his attention focused on her, Lucas was deadly to her wellbeing and sanity. She couldn’t go here again. He leaned toward her slowly, inch by inch, his eyes never leaving hers as he wrapped his free hand around the nape of her neck pulling her toward him.
“Oh no,” she whimpered, half mesmerized, half terrified.
“No,” he whispered, letting his lips brush against hers lightly, once, twice, and then three times, his eyes never leaving hers. “Is that your final answer?”
She let out a barely perceivable moan and leaned toward him as her eyes fluttered closed and her lips parted. God, she missed his lips, she had never seen or felt any so full and so sensual. “No,” she whispered, not entirely sure what she meant.
Kissing her again, her lips parted without resistance and he wrapped his hand around her waist pulling her onto his lap. She arched into him, wanting to feel connected and close to him because, as his warm body brushed against hers, she felt the chill that had been part of her life for the last six years start to melt away.
He broke the kiss and his eyes sparkled wickedly as he feathered light kisses along her neck. “No, that wasn’t your final answer, or no, please stop?”
“No stopping,” she answered pulling his face back to hers because there was no way she would deprive herself now that she’d had a small taste. He kissed her hard and demanding, his hands roaming down her back and up her sides, his tongue tangling wildly with hers, and every nerve ending in her body came alive.
Kissing him was even better than she remembered.
As she pulled on his tie, loosening the knot, the thought crossed her mind that her behavior was absolutely crazy, dumb, and self-destructive, but she pushed the thoughts away. Right now, she wanted to touch him, to feel him, to smell his spicy, familiar scent. His fingers toyed with the buttons on her shirt, and then she heard giggling.
Pulling away from him, she looked over her shoulder. A couple of teenage girls walked by them whispering. Feeling a heated blush stain her face, she slid off his lap and turned away, straightening her shirt and the folds in her linen skirt.
“Hey,” he murmured grabbing her hand, pulling her back toward him. “I’m sorry about that. We got carried away, but they’re gone now.”
She flinched and pulled her hand away from him. They couldn’t do this, not now, not ever. They had an ugly history that no amount of kissing or apologizing would overcome. “That was a mistake. This…” she waved her hand back and forth between them, “is a mistake.”
“Look at me.”
She turned and faced him. Not saying a word, she raised her eyebrows.
Confused, he studied her face. “Wait—you actually believe that, don’t you?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” It didn’t feel like a mistake, she thought, but she didn’t want to share that with Lucas, not yet…maybe never if she were smart.
Was being involved with Lucas a good idea? Until five minutes ago, she would have said no, but now it didn’t seem so ridiculous. Or did it? Ugh, she was utterly confused. She’d been kissed many times in the last six years, but not one of those kisses ever made her lose herself, and she couldn’t afford to lose herself again.