Chase (Resisting Love #1)(57)

I hear Chase growl, he wants to say so many things, but he’s scared I won’t come home tomorrow.

“Fine,” he hisses through what I imagine are clenched teeth.

I hang up.

******

I spend the morning throwing up. I haven’t told anyone about the baby yet. I feel guilty; Chase deserves to know, even if we aren’t together. I need to tell him today. I check out of the motel and drive home. It’s only about an hour away. I pull up and see all the car’s gone, except Chase’s car and motorcycle. I take a deep breath, and mentally prepare myself. I’m still sitting in the car when Chase walks out. He walks up to my car and opens my door and I take a good look at him. He looks exhausted. Probably the same way that I look. He puts his hand out to help me out, which I ignore and get out myself. Petty maybe, but if I need to keep my walls up and touching him won’t help me with that. He sighs at me, and pulls me towards him in a hug. A hug which I don’t return.

“I missed you so much baby,” he whispers in my ear. I pull away, and walk towards the door. We walk inside, side by side, but miles apart at the same time. Once we’re inside, I head to my bedroom and start pulling my clothes out of my cupboard. Chase stands behind me, so close I can almost feel his body heat. The air is thick, heavy.

“Layla, stop.” He says in a tortured voice.

I don’t, I continue to angrily grab my clothes, throwing them on my bed. Chase gently grabs my hand, stopping me from moving. “Layla, stop. Please.” His voice is almost a whisper.

I pull my arm away from him and step back. “You kissed her!” I yell suddenly, causing him to flinch. “What else did you do with her?” The intensity in my voice surprises even me.

“Nothing. I did nothing with her, Layla. Listen to me!” He sounds so frustrated, and a little defeated.

“I saw you, Chase! Don’t even try to lie! I deserve more than that!”

Chase walks over and puts his hands on my shoulders. “And I deserve you giving me a chance to explain.”

His warm breath fans my cheek, and it hurts so much to have him this close to me. I used to look down on women who forgave their men for cheating, but I would love nothing more than to forget this ever happened. If only it were that easy.

Chase takes a seat on my bed, and pulls me next to him. “Aubrey showed up, invited and unexpected. She kissed me. Which is when you would have walked in. Baby, I pushed her away instantly. Why would I want her? All I can see is you, Layla.”

I take a shaky breath, considering his words. I look at him, and for the first time, notice his lip is cut and swollen. Looks like Kade had a ‘talk’ with him after all. I don’t like that he was hurt, I find it brings me no satisfaction.

“You kept so much from me, Chase,” I whisper, my voice breaking.

“I tried to protect you, Layla... I know I’ve f*cked up. A lot. I handled everything badly. Let me fix it, Layla. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” His voice is full on sincerity. “I’ll explain everything.. I’ll...”

“Chase, I need to say something first, okay?” I say, cutting him off. “It’s something you will probably be upset about, and I’m sorry, but it’s happened, and now...” I trail off. At first he seems hesitant for me to continue, looking worried, but then he nods encouragingly.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurt.

His eyes widen, showing his surprise. He goes to talk, but I cut him off.

“I know I was on the pill, but it can still happen and...” I swallow. “I know this is not something you want, and if you don’t want anything to do with the baby, that’s okay, I don’t want you to feel obligated or anything. I mean, if you do want to be in his or her life, then we could work out some kind of visiting,” I ramble.

Chase’s eyes narrow and his eyes harden. A muscle ticks in his jaw and I can tell he’s mad.

“You think that I wouldn’t want anything to do with my own child? My son or daughter?” His voice is calm, but I can hear the rage and hurt laced within it.

“Considering you said you didn’t want any children after..” He cuts me off.

“Am I not entitled to change my mind about something I said, recklessly, when I was still grieving?” he says, affronted.

“Of course you are, Chase, but..”

“How long have you known, Layla?” he demands.

Trying not to cower at the intensity of his voice, I say “Since the day I saw you kissing Aubrey.”

“You ran off; by yourself knowing that you were carrying my baby? It wasn’t safe, Layla!” he snaps.

Now I was getting angry.

“Well excuse me for getting upset seeing the love of my life kissing his ex-girlfriend, after he didn’t come home the night before and completely shut me out!” I yell. I stand up and start pacing. “And how was it not safe? I’m an adult. I can take care of myself!”

Chase’s eyes soften at my outburst. “Baby, this is all my f*cking fault, I should have just told you...” he sighs. “ I went out with Aubrey that morning because we went to the cemetery to bring Lilly flowers. When I got home, I was still out of sorts, and I ignored you. I f*cked up, Layla. I’ve never had anyone, a woman like you, to share those things with. I just went to my apartment, had a few drinks and fell asleep that night. Then Aubrey showed up at my office and kissed me. I pushed her away, and kicked her ass out. Fuck, I know it looks bad, but how could I ever want anyone but you? You are my everything, Layla, I never thought in a million years I would be so blessed to find someone who is perfect like you are.”