Chaos Theory (Nerds of Paradise #2)(55)
“Not to Darlings, they don’t,” he snapped, then pressed his mouth shut in a painful wince.
Melody may have still been slow from the shock of her fall, but the pieces were swiftly falling into place. “Will.” She tightened her grip on his face. “I’m o-kay.”
“But I’m not okay.” He drew in a sharp breath, shaking his head and growling. “God, why is that so hard to say? I’m not okay. There are so many things I want to say to you about how much I…how much I care about you, but it’s like they’re all locked up. Saying I feel responsible is the best I can do, and it sucks, I know. But for one, horrible moment, I thought—” He clenched his jaw and shook his head, then looked right up into Melody’s eyes. “I love you. And I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Love is not something that you do something about,” she told him as gently as she knew how, rubbing her thumbs along his cheeks. “It’s something you feel, a way to exist.”
“See.” He cradled her more fully against him. “I had to have you tell me that.”
She grinned, burrowing deeper into his warmth. Maybe he wasn’t the only one trembling. That lake was damn cold, after all. “Then aren’t you lucky you have me here to teach you?”
He snorted, and it sounded distinctly like a laugh. “I need someone to teach me how to live in chaos.”
“Aw, come on. Chaos is fun.”
He humphed and shook his head, rubbing her cold arms.
“Really, it is.” She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. “I mean, there’s no way I would have planned to fall in that cold lake again as the sun is beginning to set, but we sure did end up in a nice position.”
“Right.” His words were full of sarcasm, but his body was warm and his arms encompassing. The rest didn’t matter.
Melody waited a few minutes, letting herself enjoy Will’s embrace, but also giving him the chance he needed to calm down. Chipping away at the tip of the iceberg didn’t mean there wasn’t still a lot of work to be done.
In the end, their cuddly reverie was broken by the sound of the helicopter flying overhead once more.
“Damn.” Melody straightened and looked up as the chopper passed through the sky in the distance. “They’re dropping like flies out here.” She pulled away from Will reluctantly and stood to head back to the rock where her dry clothes were, but one step and she remembered the other results of her fall. Her ankle throbbed.
“Maybe we should throw in the towel and call for the chopper too,” Will said. He stood with her, helping her hobble back to the rock, where the last rays of the afternoon sun were turning everything golden.
Melody snorted. “Not on your life, buddy. This is just a flesh wound. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“If you say so,” he muttered, frowning.
“I do.” And she was certain she’d have plenty more to say besides that.
Chapter Fifteen
In the back of Will’s chaotic, jumbled mind, the clock of competition still ticked. It was loud enough that when he woke up the next morning, muscles aching from having slept in an awkward position that provided the most comfort for Melody and her banged-up ankle, his pulse instantly shot up. They needed to get moving. The finish line wouldn’t get any closer by itself, and in spite of an alarming number of helicopter trips, there were still competitors out there.
At the same time, the last thing he wanted was to separate himself from the warm, sleeping figure of Melody. Even in the wilderness, she felt perfect in his arms. Her curves matched his. They matched a little too well, seeing as his little soldier had been standing at attention since before he woke up with her backside wriggling against him. But even with an erection that he’d really like to do something about, Will felt a sort of peace that was rare for him.
It was the peace of the eye of the hurricane, though. Blurting out a few gut-deep confessions wasn’t going to make him a fully-functional, emotionally robust human.
That thought shattered the last of his fleeing comfort. As carefully as he could, he untangled himself from Melody—whose chest still rose and fell in deep sleep—and crawled out of the sleeping bag. The first rays of dawn were just beginning to shine over the tips of the eastern mountains, highlighting their snowy caps like flashes of quicksilver. The last of the pre-dawn mist hovered above the ground, giving the forest a fairytale glow. The early cry of morning birds and woodland creatures only intensified that feeling. Maybe if he was lucky, they would sweep in and clean up their camp for him, cartoon-style.
With a wry grin and a shake of his head, he grabbed his backpack with its toiletries and water bottle and started down toward the lakeside. It took only a few steps to realize that walking was going to be an uncomfortable prospect until he could get his body under control. His erection chafed against his pants as he walked to the water’s edge. If he were a braver man, he would have whipped out another condom and made love to Melody the way she deserved the night before. He wasn’t sure that would have solved his morning problem, though. Something told him that it didn’t matter how many times he tangled up with her, sinking himself deep and losing himself in her, he’d only want her more. The scent of her skin did things to him. The memory of the sounds she’d made in those few, wild minutes the day before sent shivers down his spine.