Changing Everything (Forgiving Lies #2.5)(47)
“I want to go get food for us while you finish taking your shower, and come back to find you still naked. I want to take care of you and be so gentle with you today,” I whispered, and traced my hand down the curve of her ass. “I don’t care that I only opened my eyes to you a month ago, I feel like I’ve been waiting to start the rest of my life with you for years. I don’t want to keep going home to an apartment that you’re not at. I want you to move in with me until my lease it up, and then I want to buy a house on the ocean so we can wake up like this every morning.”
Paisley pulled away from my lips; her dark eyes were wide and bright, and matched the smile crossing her beautiful face.
Looking down, I brought my hand up to brush my knuckles against her cheek. “I don’t want another day away from you. That’s what I want.”
“I’m pretty sure that sounds perfect,” she said breathlessly.
“Good.” Kissing her softly, I whispered against her lips, “Enjoy your shower, I’ll be back with food soon.”
After drying off and finding my bag still sitting near the door, I dressed and headed out in search for food for us to eat now, and to easily make in the cottage over the next few days so we wouldn’t have to leave again unless we wanted to. An hour later, I walked back into the cottage to find Paisley propped up against the pillows, dark hair in wild waves falling around her, asleep on the bed.
Last night had been that intense.
Putting most the food in the small fridge and leaving the rest out, I leaned my hip against the counter and folded my arms across my chest as I watched Paisley sleep. There were so many things I hadn’t told her while we were in the shower that had been begging to be voiced, and those thoughts had only grown louder while I was out getting food. But standing there watching her, I didn’t know how I was supposed to keep them in anymore despite how rushed they seemed.
I slipped off my shoes and walked quietly to the bed as I pulled off my clothes. Climbing onto the bed, I pressed my lips to hers before making a trail down, and felt her stir awake when I passed her breasts.
“Hey,” she mumbled huskily, and lightly dragged her fingers through my hair. “Did you get food?”
“I did.”
Her breaths became louder when my kisses hit her lower stomach, and after a few seconds, she decided, “It can wait.”
Propping myself up on my elbows, I settled my body between her now-bent knees, and traced imaginary circles on her stomach. “You’re not on birth control.” It wasn’t a question, but she still shook her head. “I didn’t wear condoms last night.”
The corners of her mouth tilted up for a second. “I know.”
“And I didn’t buy any when I was out just now.”
Her eyebrows slanted down over her dark eyes, and she asked, “Why not?”
“Jason told me you were ready to get married and settle down. Was that true, or was he saying that because he was hoping it would make me realize what I could lose?”
“That’s true,” she answered, drawing out the words to sound like a question.
“I wasted a lot of time with you, Paisley, I don’t see a reason to wait for anything with you.”
One eyebrow lifted, and a sharp laugh burst from her chest. “Are you saying you want to knock me up, Eli Jenkins?”
“I’m saying I’m trying to start on everything I mapped out for you in the shower, and everything I wasn’t sure how to say.” I glanced down to where I was still tenderly touching her stomach before meeting her gaze again. “I want to have a family with you, and I want to marry you. I want to love you for the rest of my life, Paisley.”
Her wide brown eyes slowly filled with tears, and a beautiful smile covered her face. A line of tears fell down her cheeks when she shook her head subtly. “Eli, it has only been one month since you realized you were in love with me. I have been dreaming of that future with you for years, but for you and for us, we need to wait. We can’t just get married right now.”
“Why?” I asked impatiently, and earned a light laugh from her as she gently ran her fingers through my hair.
“Because I want you to be sure that is something you—”
“I am sure,” I said honestly, cutting her off. “I told you, Pay, I feel like I’ve been waiting for this for years.”
“And I have,” she reminded me. “If you asked me—and I mean seriously asked me—there is no way I would be able to say no to you, Eli. But I think you’ve felt like you’ve been waiting for this for years because when you realized how you felt, you were immediately faced with not being able to have me. Those first two weeks, you were scared you wouldn’t get a future with me, and now it’s only been two more weeks that we’ve even been together and you haven’t had to worry about us. I want you to give it some time until the newness of us has passed before you decide that getting married to me is something you actually want.”
I studied her face for silent moments, and watched as the small trail of tears continued to fall. I knew exactly how long it had been since she’d shown up at my door to tell me she’d chosen me. But I wasn’t going to change my mind weeks, months, or years from now. When I started to tell her that, I stopped abruptly, and my eyes widened. “Paisley,” I whispered. “Are you still afraid that I’m only with you because I don’t want to lose my best friend?”