Changing Everything (Forgiving Lies #2.5)(21)

Looking back over to Brett, I hated when I found him watching me too, his expression barely concealing his sadness.

I couldn’t sit here anymore. Not with these two men here.

One who was taking my heart, the other who still owned my soul.

Standing quickly, I ignored everyone calling my name and escaped from the bar and into the parking lot. Once I was outside, my steps turned into sprints until I reached Brett’s car. Bending over, I pressed my hands against my knees and took in staggering breaths.

It hadn’t been a far run, but I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It felt like I’d been holding my breath from the moment Eli had walked in. It felt like I was about to break.

“Come here,” Brett commanded gently, and pulled me upright so he could wrap his arms around me.

A hard sob burst from my chest, and my body began trembling violently—and I hated that he was seeing this.

Because he knew what this was, he knew who these tears were for, and that they had absolutely nothing to do with us.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay,” he crooned, and pressed his lips to the top of my head.

I gripped on to his shirt as I buried my head against his chest and cried. I didn’t understand how he could say that. Not now, not when he was caught in the middle of this and knew exactly what was going on. I shook my head quickly as I tried to pull in air, and Brett stood there calmly running his hand over my back.

“Come on, Paisley, I’ll take you home.”

“But—”

“This is hard for you, and you’re upset. Let me take you home so you have time to be alone to think about all this. And when you’re ready, you can come over and we’ll talk through whatever you’ve decided.”

I swallowed roughly. “No. Brett, no! I want to be with you.”

His full lips fell onto mine to quiet anything else I would say, and when he pulled back, his green eyes held mine. “You loved him first,” he said simply.

“But I’m—” I cut off and briefly debated whether or not to say the words that were begging to get out. With a weighted sigh, I admitted, “I’m falling in love with you.”

Brett exhaled in a rush, and offered me a sad smile “Christ, Paisley, I wish I could’ve told you how I’m falling madly in love with you under different circumstances, but it’s because I am that I have to give you this chance. All right?”

I nodded as more tears fell down my cheeks, and whimpered from the force of his next kiss.

“It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay,” he whispered, then released me, and opened the passenger seat of his car.

As I slid into the car, I didn’t know how I was supposed to choose between the two. There was no obvious answer to me. I’d never met a man like Brett, and he’d been slowly putting together the shattered pieces of me from years with Eli as he’d quickly embedded himself in my heart and life. But there was no getting over someone like Eli, and I wondered how much it would hurt to live the rest of my life without him—because it was clear I couldn’t have both of them in my life. I wondered if the soul-deep ache would eventually fade, and if Eli would just become a fond memory as my first love, or if Kristen had been right, and I would always wonder what if.





Chapter Seven

September 21, 2013

Eli



PULLING MY TRUCK to a stop in front of Paisley’s building, I rubbed at my eyes and cracked my neck before stepping out. I hadn’t slept last night—not that I’d slept much in the last few weeks, but there’d been nothing last night. I’d tried propping up the pillows the way Paisley always did, but it wasn’t the same without her.

I shut and locked the door behind me, and took slow steps toward her apartment as I tried to prepare myself for Brett being here again.

I knew I’d been an ass the night before, but seeing him kissing her had my blood boiling and me straining not to throw something. Because that would have helped so much. I’m gonna throw this heavy table, and you’re gonna like it. Paisley didn’t want someone turning into a caveman while he fought for her. She wanted someone to love her the way she loved them. She wanted someone not to hurt her like I’d been doing.

A sharp inhale had me freezing and my head snapping up to see my Paisley standing there in front of me. Brown eyes wide and unsure, dark hair falling softly around her face and past her shoulders, too-full lips barely opened, and looking as short and perfect as ever.

She was perfect. Why had that taken me so long to notice?

“Paisley,” I breathed.

“Why are you here?” she asked through clenched teeth.

“Because I love you, and I need—”

“You can’t just decide that now that I’m trying to be happy, Eli! You can’t come in and try to ruin this now that you’re missing me,” she seethed, but underneath that anger was so much sadness she was working at concealing.

“I do miss you, Pay,” I admitted as I closed the distance between us. She took a few steps back, and I took another forward—capturing her face in my hands so she wouldn’t try to keep moving. “But I’m not trying to ruin your happiness. I know I’ve done that more times than I can imagine . . . I know, and I’m so goddamn sorry.”

“Language,” she chastised softly.