Chance(32)

He's on his feet now too. "Where are you going? Why is Clive sending you out of town right now? Doesn’t he know that I need you here?"

I don't take any comfort in the words. Instead, a jolting reality takes hold of me. Caleb needs me here. The selfish parts of him want my friendship and comfort to help guide him through the emotions he's feeling because his brother disappeared soon after he had him arrested. "You don't need me here, Caleb. You have Gabriel."

"He doesn't understand me the way you do, Bell."

I loved when he called me that when we were children running up and down the street together trying to launch the kite I got on my birthday from my grandparents. He'd held his hand over mine on the string, pulling me along behind him as we floated the kite just a few feet above the quiet, tree-lined sidewalk. Now, hearing him say it, I'm reminded of that morning when he gave in to his desire for me.

"You're getting closer to finding Asher." I rest my hand on my hip. "I have to do this for work. I need to."

"What's wrong?" His hand reaches out towards me, but he stops it in mid-air. "You've been different since…"

I watch as his fisted hand falls to his side. I lick my bottom lip, wanting my words to portray a strong, unfazed woman. "I've been different since that morning at my apartment. The morning you touched me until I came."

His breath catches and his eyes lock on mine. "Yes. You've changed since then."

This is it. There are defining moments in every relationship. When I was with Tom it was when he told me that he'd rather get high than clean up so he could be a partner to me. With my last boyfriend it was the moment I realized that being away from him was more fulfilling than sitting in a room listening to him talk about himself endlessly. With Caleb, it's right now.

"Do you want me, Caleb? Do you want me in your life other than as a friend?"

The questions pull the air from his lungs. I can tell by the way his body sways forward and his breathing stalls. "What do you mean?"

It's a tactic that he's used since we were children. He'll ask for clarification so he can gather together his tangled thoughts. I've seen him use the approach with his brothers and parents. This is the first time he's ever done it with me.

I close my eyes briefly before I open them and lock eyes with him. "We almost had sex that morning in my apartment. I think we would have if you wouldn’t have taken that call. I'm asking you if you want it to happen. Do you want me? Do you want me in that way?"

He crosses his broad arms over his chest as he peers down at me. His lips move slightly before his tongue darts over them. "I think about f*cking you all the time."





Chapter 28


I didn't see that coming. I thought he'd tell me that we can't be intimate because it would damage our friendship. I actually was counting on him saying that because I had my retort at the ready. In my mind Caleb was going to explain that he valued our friendship so highly that sacrificing it for a few minutes, or in Caleb's case an hour of pleasure, would be foolish. I imagined he'd kiss me on my forehead, tell me that I'd find a man who truly deserved me and usher me out of the library, past Ruby and into the night. At the last moment before he shut the door behind me, I'd turn around and tell him that he would never be good enough for me. It would have been a lie but it would have stung him. That entire made up scenario in my mind just went to hell.

Now, I'm staring at his face. I'm staring into the gorgeous face of the man I want to be with and I'm absorbing the fact that he just told me that he thinks about f*cking me all the time.

"You think about it too, Bell." His index finger leaps to his lips. "You do, don't you?"

Um, hell yes I do. Morning, noon and night.

"Sometimes," I offer back. "I've thought about it."

"Tell me what you think about." He steps forward a touch, which causes me to instantly retreat a step back. "Tell me what you wanted to do that day."

I can't tell if he's pushing me because he wants me to drop to my knees so I can show him exactly what I wanted to do that day. I'm going to take the bait because a chance like this may never appear again and if I don't tell Caleb Foster exactly what I want, I'll wake up one morning twenty-five years from now next to a man who can't possibly own my pleasure the way Caleb will. "I wanted to feel you inside of me. I wanted to touch you and taste you."

He moves closer still, his expression shifting. "You mean you wanted me to f*ck you. You wanted to suck on my cock."

The sheer rawness of his words pulls a blush from deep within me. "Yes. I mean that."

He leans down. He's close. He's so close that I can feel the feathery soft touch of his breath on my lips each time he exhales. "You wanted me to lick your *, didn't you, Rowan?"

I've never heard the word from any man I've been with before. It's always felt too intimate but now it pulls something from deep within me. My sex aches. "Yes."

"You wanted me to eat you until you screamed my name." He pushes a piece of my hair off my forehead. "Then you wanted me to flip you over so I could f*ck you hard."

I know I should pull back so I can breathe but I'm frozen in place. "Caleb."