Catching Captain Nash (Dashing Widows #6)(26)

“I am happy,” Morwenna said huskily. “But...”

Caro pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and passed it to Morwenna, even as she wiped her damp eyes with her fingers. “But it’s all been too much to take in. And you’ve been so desperate to keep up a brave front for Robert.”

Morwenna sent Caro a thankful glance out of eyes glazed with tears. “He’s so afraid of losing his control...” Except for those moments when he’d moved inside her body. Then he hadn’t been controlled at all. And she’d loved it. “It’s hard not to turn into a complete watering pot. He’s been through so much and...and...”

“And it shows, although he works like the dickens to hide it. It nearly killed him, telling us what little he did. And it’s clear there was so much more, and so much worse. His courage breaks the heart.”

Morwenna sniffed and gave her friend a shaky smile. “When he was talking to all of us, I just wanted to put my arms around him and tell him that he’s safe now.”

Perhaps in the future, Robert would lay down his defenses long enough to accept comfort separate from desire. But not yet.

As if Caro read her thoughts, she said, “And you’re so afraid that he might break, because all that’s holding him together is pride and that great, brave heart.”

“The heart that kept him alive through his suffering. I really thought I wouldn’t be able to control myself when he told us that horrible, horrible story.”

Caro’s smile was misty. “I was close to bawling like a lost calf. Believe me. And Lord, I thought Silas was going to blow it all by losing his grip.”

“But he held on. He’s been brave, too.”

“The Nash men are remarkable. We’re lucky to have them.”

When Caro stopped talking to direct a searching regard at her, Morwenna realized her expression must have betrayed her.

“Morwenna, you do have him. Surely you know that. The only time he looks halfway close to his old self is when he’s with you.”

Nervous hands tore at the flimsy handkerchief. “Oh, I know he loved me.”

She realized she’d used the betraying past tense when Caro frowned. “For heaven’s sake, the man worships the ground you walk on.”

“I don’t...I don’t think he knows what he feels anymore,” she said in a hollow voice.

Caro made a disgusted sound. “Nonsense. He can’t keep his hands off you.”

She blushed, wondering if the family guessed what had happened in the breakfast room not so long ago. “But that doesn’t mean he still loves me. He’s been locked up for a long time. He has a lot to make up for.”

Caro surveyed her with disapproval. “Morwenna, do you remember his reaction to seeing you with Garson? We’re lucky blood wasn’t spilled.”

“But that was just...”

“Male possessiveness? It looked like more than that to me.”

“There’s no guarantee love will survive such a separation. Especially as he’s come back so changed. You remember what he used to be like. The man who made every party sparkle.”

Caro regarded her thoughtfully. “Does that mean you’re disappointed in the man he’s become?”

Morwenna surged to her feet in denial. “No, never. My love isn’t the easy type of love that ever changes, however changed the man I love.”

Caro looked pleased and leaned back against the deep brown leather. “Then why don’t you credit Robert with the same steadfastness? He’s changed, but so have you. It doesn’t mean you love each other less. Time and experience change love for everyone. If you’re lucky, they make it stronger.”

“That’s how it worked for you and Silas.” Morwenna went back to torturing her damp handkerchief. “But who says it will work that way for Robert and me?”

“Who says it won’t?” Impatience sparked in Caro’s blue eyes. “Is he the man you want?”

“More than ever.” She voiced thoughts she’d hardly admitted to herself. “He seems deeper and more true to himself now.”

Caro’s expression softened, and she blinked away another tear. “And so do you. You’ve both paid such a heavy price over the last years. Don’t let all that suffering go to waste. If any two people deserve happiness, it’s you and Robert.”

*



Caro’s words rang in Morwenna’s ears as Silas’s luxurious traveling coach bowled north toward Leicestershire. For several hours, her husband had watched her with a heavy-lidded gaze that hinted at carnal intentions. They hadn’t spoken since he’d told her about his meetings at the Admiralty. Long conversations still tested his stamina.

“We could have waited until the morning and gone then.” She gripped the strap for balance against the lurching vehicle. Robert had told the coachman not to spare the horses.

“Leaving today gets us to Kerenza all the sooner.”

She smiled. “I’m glad you want to see her.”

His marked black brows contracted. “Of course I want to see her.”

“I don’t even know if you like children. There’s so much we never had a chance to discover about each other.”

He still watched her like a fox watched a rabbit hole. She shifted uncomfortably. That steady gaze disturbed her, made her blood thick with awareness.